Walk of Shame


My partner “Van” is out of town so I hung out last night with long-time friend “Freddy.”

We met at the recently reopened Baltimore Eagle up Charles Street, one of the hottest gay spots in the city.

We caught up over drinks and then went to the dark room bar in the back to see if anything freaky was going on.

But Freddy kept pausing the convo to answer texts.

“There is this hot, built dude I met with a muscle ass who wants a threesome. Are you down?”

“Sure.”

“He has a tight ass. You will like it.”

The narrow rowhouse “DeShawn” shared with his family was less than two miles away so we got there in no time.

He had the place to himself. Everyone was at a Friday night church service.

DeShawn, a handsome, 40-year-old brown-skinned man with a rough shadow beard, met us at the door naked and led us up the stairs to his modest room in the back.

The walls were painted fire engine red and his bed was just a boxspring and mattress on the floor covered with a flowery bedspread.

A buddy of DeShawn was there fully clothed. “He was just leaving,” DeShawn said.

After his buddy left we smoked a little weed and started sexing. DeShawn took turns sucking us off as we lay on his bed.

“Damn y’all have two big dicks,” he said, looking almost beatific as he held one and then the other in his hands.

Here is a brief video of Freddy fucking DeShawn. You can hear relatives talking outside the door at the very end.

We tag teamed him every way possible. Doggy style. Spoon style. Missionary. He even made us lay back and rode us.

DeShawn was a true champ power bottom. Freddy is six feet four with a dick bigger than mine but DeShawn wasn’t complaining – he made us tap out.

But then we heard women’s voices in the hallway and we stopped all the noise and listened. DeShawn’s family was back from church.

One of the women, who I later learned was his grandmother, must have heard us.

“Did you say something,” she said to another woman.

“No I didn’t,” the woman answered.

Oh shit they probably heard us fucking, I thought.

We decided to get dressed and take the party to my house since Freddy’s house was messy.

But first we had to get past the relatives.

The room was hot and we were still sweating. We looked like we had been having sex. And probably smelled like sex, too.

We walked out of the room. I saw DeShawn’s grandmother standing in the doorway of her bedroom, already in her white bathrobe.

She just stared at us.

We walked down the stairs and a heavy, dark-skinned man with gray hair was sitting in the dining room watching a TV on the sideboard. He was Grandma’s boyfriend.

He just stared at us.

We walked through the living room and young handsome man sat there. He was staring too.

It was the friend you had been in DeShawn’s room when we arrived.

“l thought you left already,” DeShawn said.

Motherfucker was probaby eavesdropping at the door while we were fucking, I thought. I could tell just by his “cat-caught-with-a-bird-in-his-mouth” expression.

I was so embarrassed that if I was not so dark skinned you could have seen me blush.

But DeShawn acted like pulling a threesome while his relatives were in the house was no biggie.

“Oh don’t worry about it.”

They already knew he is gay as well as his baby brother.

So the party finished at my place. I took some pics in both places that I’m sharing.

C.K.


Photo courtesy of ASOS.com.

Tonight “C.K.” texted me and said he wanted to play with me and my partner “Van.” An hour later he walked in my front door and I spotted a purple hickey on his neck.

“Damn, what have you been up to,” I asked.

“Oh, my ex-girlfriend dropped by yesterday and she did that,” he said.

I just smiled and took it in stride. Last night C.K. had pussy. But tonight he wanted to play with dick.

“C.K.” is 27 years old and from New York City. Brown-skinned, handsome, six-feet two, a little thick and cute as a Teddy Bear.

He is the masculine, mostly silent type. I have known him for more than a year but only know few details about him because he is so reticent. I think we have hooked up three times counting tonight with Van. I don’t even know his first or last name — just his initials.

But there are a few things I know for sure.

I know his mother died. I know his father got caught up in the streets and is in prison. I know he had to  get out of New York so the same thing didn’t happen to him. I know he works two jobs to make ends meet.

And I also know he is wrestling with his sexuality.

Tonight Van and I played with him, licking his nipples, eating his ass, and stroking his dick, which is not very big but gets hard as a rock as it rises from between his beautiful thighs. Then he watched me fuck Van before we all jacked off and busted good nutts.

But before the sex we talked.

“You and your partner have sex parties,” he asked me while we lay on the bed, watching “John Wick 2” on HBO.

“Yeah, how did you know?”

“Oh, you texted me.”

“Oh, wow, I didn’t know you were on my party invite list. I forgot. But I know sex parties are not your thing because you are so undercover.”

He paused a moment and spoke again.

“I could never come to a sex party. I’m too shy for that.”

But he kept asking questions about it.

“How many guys come?”

“Oh, 35 or 40,” I answered.

“Damn!”

“C.K. some people come and just watch. It’s up to you.”

“I will tell all the guys to leave you alone because you are a newbie,” I joked.

“Oh, don’t do that. I wouldn’t want to bring attention to myself,” C.K. said.

He is limited in what he does sexually. He says he does not want to fuck or get fucked by a dude. He doesn’t kiss. But he loves to be touched and get his nipples licked.

While we lay in bed together, waiting for Van to finish showering, he would sometimes reach out and hold my hand.  Then let it go and hold it again. I found the gesture sweet and endearing.

I think C.K. would make some man a great catch if he ever decided to explore a relationship with a man. Besides being handsome some would find his New York accent and swag and strong work ethic appealing.

“Have you ever dated a guy,” I ask.

“No, not yet,” C.K. answered.

An hour or so later, after we all nutted and washed up C.K. said he was ready to take the light rail home so I walked him to the door.

“I could do like you two,” C.K. said as he walked down the stairs behind me.

I didn’t understand. Did he mean how Van and I had sex?

“What do you mean?,” I ask.

“I think I could be in a relationship like you and Van.”

I smiled. “Whenever you are ready man. It’s up to you.”

And I opened the front door, said goodbye, and C.K. disappeared into the chilly, still Autumn night.

 

 

Running into Family at the Sex Party


Family can show up in the oddest places. Photo courtesy of Adweek.

Last Friday my partner “Van” and I had a sex party in honor of a buddy who had moved away from Baltimore and was back for a week-long visit.

It was a great party — about 35 guys showed up despite the fact there were three other sex parties going on in town. The sun came up and there were half a dozen guys over so we all went out to breakfast at a nearby diner.

I was coming to work on the commuter train this morning when I ran into “Winston,” one of the guys who attended. I’ve known Winston for years — he is a handsome, short man in his 50’s who is a lawyer by day but a freak at night.

“You know one of my cousins was at your party and I didn’t even know he was gay,” Winston said.

It seems Winston was in one of the bedrooms groping around in the dark and grabbed this beefy, dark-skinned guy’s ass. And the guy turned around and grabbed Winston by the dick and balls.

Then they made eye contact. And flushed with embarrassment.

“Oh, shit. Cuz what are you doing here,” “Dexter” asked.

It’s funny. I’ve known Dexter for years too but never knew he and Winston are second cousins.

Each year the two cousins see each other at a big family Thanksgiving dinner and an annual cousin’s bowling party. And neither had an inkling the other swung with men.

It’s funny how every time we have a sex party there is some funny story to share. Friday night was no exception.

 

 

Is My Straight Best Friend Really Gay?


Photo courtesy of Nairaland Forum.

“Jeremy” and I have been friends for more than 30 years.

He was my brother’s friend in college.  Jeremy would come home to our house weekends since he was from Los Angeles and couldn’t get back to California often. And he loved my Mom’s home cooking.

So we started hanging out and soon he was closer to me than he was to my brother. My Mom called him her “Other Son.” Heck, they still talk on the phone from time to time.

Jeremy and I traveled together. Hit the clubs together most every weekend. And fought like cats and dogs but were thick as thieves the next day because that’s how friends do.

He was always the ladies’ man. Always pulled the girls while I almost exclusively dated my ex-wife. Now 34 years later he is divorced twice and recently broke up with a law school student young enough to be our daughter.

But I always wondered whether he could be curious about being gay. Or if he was already playing with men.

After I separated from my wife I was on business travel to Los Angeles and hung out with him. We were in the food court of a Walmart in South-central, eating at a Chinese buffet. I cleared my throat and confessed.

“Hey I just want to be honest with you and let you know I’m gay now.”

He didn’t miss a beat.

“Immanuel, I always thought you could be gay. Don’t worry about it.”

And we just kept talking like nothing happened.

Then I remembered way back in the late 80’s the things he would do.

Like we would go to the gay nightclub Traxx on “Straight Night” Tuesdays and one time he kiddingly tried to pull me on the dance floor like we were a couple while a group of women nearby gawked.

One week we hopped in my Nissan, pulled off the T-top and drove to Montreal. And when we got to the hotel room we shared he lay back on the bed and pulled his legs up in the air and jokingly said, “Come and get it” like he wanted me to fuck him.

And how, even though we were hanging out with girls we met there, Jeremy made it a point of taking me out alone to a fancy French restaurant to celebrate my birthday. And when we walked back to the hotel he put his arms around me as we walked the dark, cobblestone streets of Vieux Montreal.

Like what straight black man does that to his friend?

Thirty years later the hints keep dropping.

This Spring we were texting and he bragged casually about how big his dick is. Like what straight black man does this to his friend, especially one he knows is gay?

I just ignored it. Although in hindsight I wish I had asked him to send a pic so we could compare dick size.

Then in June he texted me to say he broke up again with the young girlfriend.

“So you know I broke up with Marlene. Bruh, the gays are all over me now. LOL!”

“Come get your mens Negro.”

I just played it off. Jeremy, a handsome, slightly thick pecan-brown brother with wavy graying hair, was always a joker. So I kidded back.

“When you get ready to try gay holler..I will pay for your gay training academy tuition lol.”

But I wondered. What straight black man would text something like that in the same text message to announce he broke up with a woman he had been dating for at least two years? And were Jeremy’s jokes hiding his true feelings?

My partner “Van” and I visited Los Angeles in August when I went out on business and we had drinks with Jeremy at Kitchen 24 in West Hollywood’s Boys Town. A guy we had hooked up with, “Devin” (Picking him up off the street in Los Angeles), was with us.

Devin, Van and I are gay but the conversation was about the hot mess that is Donald Trump, life on the East Coast versus West Coast and other stuff. It was Jeremy — the lone straight man in the quartet — who kept inserting gay into the conversation.

“You know I work out in this gym and there are a lot of gay guys there. They keep trying to look at this big dick. Shit man, I can even go to the sauna without somebody hitting on me.”

Devin, Van and I just laughed and changed the subject. I think I glanced across the table to get Van’s reaction. I knew he wanted to go all up and down Jeremy with questions but he didn’t — it was their first time meeting so I gathered Van wanted to be polite and make a good impression on my best buddy.

Later after Jeremy left Van said he probably is gay-curious and might have already tasted the Rainbow. So Van said the next time Jeremy traveled East I had permission to try to seduce him.

That was a good idea but I didn’t wait. Devin seemed interested in Jeremy so I gave each of them the other’s number.

“Hey Devin seemed cool but you know I’m not gay, right,” Jeremy said. “But I don’t mind hanging out with him if it’s at an event or something.”

Okay, we will see how this goes.

 

 

Gay shows I’m watching on Internet TV


Some of the best Black gay television is on the Internet.

The acting, writing and cinematography are getting better. But there are drawbacks.

Sometimes you have to pay for episodes or a subscription. Or the series ends before it comes to a satisfying resolution due to lack of funding.

Still here are my favorite web-based gay shows. Let me know what you are watching too in the comment section!

Red Skin (The Arthouse)

Karras Jordan and Kevin Boles Jr.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lovers Santana (actor Karras Jordan) and Kaleb (Kevin Boles Jr.) are like night and day and oil and water. Santana is street — a rap producer trying to catch a break who wears the latest fashion. Kaleb is a medical student in residency who favors preppy, button down shirts. But they have a magnetic attraction and a dark, twisted relationship. Like co-dependent drug addicts. They both play games and resort to violence, especially Santana. Will the relationship survive or will they end up destroying each other?

What I love about it: It shows just how twisted and complicated gay relationships can get.

Love @ First Night (SlayTV)

Jayden (left) and Spencer.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jayden (Ramad Carter) and Spencer (Kyle Price) meet when Jayden comes to birthday party at a Brooklyn apartment that Spencer shares with his over-the-top roommate Alex. It is literally love at first sight and they hook up that night and embark on a relationship. But friends and frenemies, an abusive ex-boyfriend, a lovestruck co-worker and family makes things complicated. Will Jayden and Spencer’s relationship survive the storms?

What I love about it: This show is a great comedy but it really shows some of the realistic things that happen as couples get to know each other better and must decide whether they can accept each other’s flaws. And Jayden’s sister Deidre is a hoot!

 

Kaleidoscope (The Arthouse)

Thomas Mackey

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Anthony “Ant” (Thomas Mackey) got baby-mama drama and is down on his luck so does gay porn for the money. His girl and family find out and shun him. Ant swears he ain’t gay but we all know better. He just hasn’t come to terms with it. So we go on a journey with the broodingly handsome Ant as he goes further down the gay porn rabbit hole.

What I love about it: This show puts a spotlight on the travails everyday black gay men can face while finding themselves. The porn things just make things that much more complicated.

Miles + Cal (The Arthouse)

Miles (bottom) and Cal.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Los Angeles graphic designer Miles (Tamario Fletcher) meets Cal (Willie Albert Loman III) online and they hook up. But Miles soon learns Cal dropped out of college and is now homeless and robbing homes with a buddy to makes ends meet. Despite this they get into a relationship. Like the couple in Red Skin it’s a case of opposites attract but Miles and Cal seem to have a healthy love for each other.

What I love about it: Their scenes together are so sweet and loving you just can’t help but root for Miles and Cal to make it.

 

 

The Nigerian


Protest in London against homophobia in Nigeria. Photo courtesy of the London Evening Post.

The Nigerian is 30 years old and is here visiting family. I met him on Grindr.

He is beautiful to behold, with a handsome, oval face and slight, tight body.

He has flawless deep ebony skin that is smooth as a baby because he grows so little body hair.

He is just a mile away so he has become a regular, dropping by to get as much dick as he can before he goes home.

Because being gay in Nigeria is no joke…it can literally get you arrested or even killed.

The Christians in southern Nigeria persecute people who are LGBT. And so do the Muslims in the north.

Newspapers will run gossip articles exposing you.

There is no way to run, he says.

His first male sex was with  a teacher at the boy’s school he attended as a teenager. Which was molestation since he was not at the age of consent.

Now he must find partners in Nigeria and have sex as clandestinely as possible because anybody can report you and have you arrested.

He is also under suspicion because he is grown and has not married and had children. He does not even have a girlfriend.

“I refuse to get married,” the Nigerian said, explaining that despite the dangers he will remain as true to himself as he can.

I feel sorry for him, admire his bravery and wish he could enjoy the same liberties as same gender loving men in the United States.

But until he leaves we will make his visit as enjoyable as possible.

Here are some video clips and photos of him and my partner “Van” and I playing with him:

Video Clip 1

Video Clip 2

Love, Sex and Death in Baltimore


Calvin Fernanda Phair. Photo courtesy of his Facebook page.

I have seen Calvin Fernanda Phair around for a long time. At the gay bars. On Adam4Adam.  And as a suggested friend on my Facebook page.

Slight. Unassuming. He really looked like such a nice, harmless guy.

That is why I was so surprised to learn he is in jail, accused of strangling his roommate to death with electrical cords.

James Dews. Photo from his online obituary: http://bit.ly/2xvnHZq.

The Baltimore Sun said the victim Elijah McKeith Smalls, 39, was a roommate but my friends in the gay community who know Phair said they were lovers entangled in an abusive relationship.

Phair, 47, had already stabbed Smalls twice before during arguments. But Smalls stayed. And now he is dead.

The article said when emergency medical personnel arrived Phair was giving the victim CPR. Like he was trying to glue a porcelain figurine back together after accidentally breaking it.

It is so disturbing how love and passion and sex can go hand in hand with violence and death, like the flip side of a coin. Heads or tails? Love me or hate me? Desire me or destroy me? Use me or use me up?

Just three days after the newspaper reported the murder of Smalls they posted an article on the sentencing of Jamison Deberry, 35, for the murder of James Dews, 69, a veteran and retired accountant.

Jamison Deberry

Deberry initially said he killed Dews in self defense. But it turned out he was a sex worker and Dews was a client. He is now serving life in prison.

How long were they in this arrangement? And what prompted Deberry to murder Dews in November 2015?

Did Dews refuse to pay Deberry? Did Deberry rob him and he fought back? Or did Dews threaten to expose him as trade for pay?

The article said Dews injured Deberry in the scuffle and his girlfriend picked him up on a nearby street. Did she know how her man was making money?

We will probably never know.

From his online obituary it is clear family and friends loved and admired Dews and he is greatly missed. All he wanted was a connection. Or maybe he wanted to just bust a nutt. Or was just lonesome and wanted someone to talk to?

Is that worth dying for?