Running into Family at the Sex Party

Family can show up in the oddest places. Photo courtesy of Adweek.

Last Friday my partner “Van” and I had a sex party in honor of a buddy who had moved away from Baltimore and was back for a week-long visit.

It was a great party — about 35 guys showed up despite the fact there were three other sex parties going on in town. The sun came up and there were half a dozen guys over so we all went out to breakfast at a nearby diner.

I was coming to work on the commuter train this morning when I ran into “Winston,” one of the guys who attended. I’ve known Winston for years — he is a handsome, short man in his 50’s who is a lawyer by day but a freak at night.

“You know one of my cousins was at your party and I didn’t even know he was gay,” Winston said.

It seems Winston was in one of the bedrooms groping around in the dark and grabbed this beefy, dark-skinned guy’s ass. And the guy turned around and grabbed Winston by the dick and balls.

Then they made eye contact. And flushed with embarrassment.

“Oh, shit. Cuz what are you doing here,” “Dexter” asked.

It’s funny. I’ve known Dexter for years too but never knew he and Winston are second cousins.

Each year the two cousins see each other at a big family Thanksgiving dinner and an annual cousin’s bowling party. And neither had an inkling the other swung with men.

It’s funny how every time we have a sex party there is some funny story to share. Friday night was no exception.



Is My Straight Best Friend Really Gay?

Photo courtesy of Nairaland Forum.

“Jeremy” and I have been friends for more than 30 years.

He was my brother’s friend in college.  Jeremy would come home to our house weekends since he was from Los Angeles and couldn’t get back to California often. And he loved my Mom’s home cooking.

So we started hanging out and soon he was closer to me than he was to my brother. My Mom called him her “Other Son.” Heck, they still talk on the phone from time to time.

Jeremy and I traveled together. Hit the clubs together most every weekend. And fought like cats and dogs but were thick as thieves the next day because that’s how friends do.

He was always the ladies’ man. Always pulled the girls while I almost exclusively dated my ex-wife. Now 34 years later he is divorced twice and recently broke up with a law school student young enough to be our daughter.

But I always wondered whether he could be curious about being gay. Or if he was already playing with men.

After I separated from my wife I was on business travel to Los Angeles and hung out with him. We were in the food court of a Walmart in South-central, eating at a Chinese buffet. I cleared my throat and confessed.

“Hey I just want to be honest with you and let you know I’m gay now.”

He didn’t miss a beat.

“Immanuel, I always thought you could be gay. Don’t worry about it.”

And we just kept talking like nothing happened.

Then I remembered way back in the late 80’s the things he would do.

Like we would go to the gay nightclub Traxx on “Straight Night” Tuesdays and one time he kiddingly tried to pull me on the dance floor like we were a couple while a group of women nearby gawked.

One week we hopped in my Nissan, pulled off the T-top and drove to Montreal. And when we got to the hotel room we shared he lay back on the bed and pulled his legs up in the air and jokingly said, “Come and get it” like he wanted me to fuck him.

And how, even though we were hanging out with girls we met there, Jeremy made it a point of taking me out alone to a fancy French restaurant to celebrate my birthday. And when we walked back to the hotel he put his arms around me as we walked the dark, cobblestone streets of Vieux Montreal.

Like what straight black man does that to his friend?

Thirty years later the hints keep dropping.

This Spring we were texting and he bragged casually about how big his dick is. Like what straight black man does this to his friend, especially one he knows is gay?

I just ignored it. Although in hindsight I wish I had asked him to send a pic so we could compare dick size.

Then in June he texted me to say he broke up again with the young girlfriend.

“So you know I broke up with Marlene. Bruh, the gays are all over me now. LOL!”

“Come get your mens Negro.”

I just played it off. Jeremy, a handsome, slightly thick pecan-brown brother with wavy graying hair, was always a joker. So I kidded back.

“When you get ready to try gay holler..I will pay for your gay training academy tuition lol.”

But I wondered. What straight black man would text something like that in the same text message to announce he broke up with a woman he had been dating for at least two years? And were Jeremy’s jokes hiding his true feelings?

My partner “Van” and I visited Los Angeles in August when I went out on business and we had drinks with Jeremy at Kitchen 24 in West Hollywood’s Boys Town. A guy we had hooked up with, “Devin” (Picking him up off the street in Los Angeles), was with us.

Devin, Van and I are gay but the conversation was about the hot mess that is Donald Trump, life on the East Coast versus West Coast and other stuff. It was Jeremy — the lone straight man in the quartet — who kept inserting gay into the conversation.

“You know I work out in this gym and there are a lot of gay guys there. They keep trying to look at this big dick. Shit man, I can even go to the sauna without somebody hitting on me.”

Devin, Van and I just laughed and changed the subject. I think I glanced across the table to get Van’s reaction. I knew he wanted to go all up and down Jeremy with questions but he didn’t — it was their first time meeting so I gathered Van wanted to be polite and make a good impression on my best buddy.

Later after Jeremy left Van said he probably is gay-curious and might have already tasted the Rainbow. So Van said the next time Jeremy traveled East I had permission to try to seduce him.

That was a good idea but I didn’t wait. Devin seemed interested in Jeremy so I gave each of them the other’s number.

“Hey Devin seemed cool but you know I’m not gay, right,” Jeremy said. “But I don’t mind hanging out with him if it’s at an event or something.”

Okay, we will see how this goes.



Gay shows I’m watching on Internet TV

Some of the best Black gay television is on the Internet.

The acting, writing and cinematography are getting better. But there are drawbacks.

Sometimes you have to pay for episodes or a subscription. Or the series ends before it comes to a satisfying resolution due to lack of funding.

Still here are my favorite web-based gay shows. Let me know what you are watching too in the comment section!

Red Skin (The Arthouse)

Karras Jordan and Kevin Boles Jr.









Lovers Santana (actor Karras Jordan) and Kaleb (Kevin Boles Jr.) are like night and day and oil and water. Santana is street — a rap producer trying to catch a break who wears the latest fashion. Kaleb is a medical student in residency who favors preppy, button down shirts. But they have a magnetic attraction and a dark, twisted relationship. Like co-dependent drug addicts. They both play games and resort to violence, especially Santana. Will the relationship survive or will they end up destroying each other?

What I love about it: It shows just how twisted and complicated gay relationships can get.

Love @ First Night (SlayTV)

Jayden (left) and Spencer.










Jayden (Ramad Carter) and Spencer (Kyle Price) meet when Jayden comes to birthday party at a Brooklyn apartment that Spencer shares with his over-the-top roommate Alex. It is literally love at first sight and they hook up that night and embark on a relationship. But friends and frenemies, an abusive ex-boyfriend, a lovestruck co-worker and family makes things complicated. Will Jayden and Spencer’s relationship survive the storms?

What I love about it: This show is a great comedy but it really shows some of the realistic things that happen as couples get to know each other better and must decide whether they can accept each other’s flaws. And Jayden’s sister Deidre is a hoot!


Kaleidoscope (The Arthouse)

Thomas Mackey









Anthony “Ant” (Thomas Mackey) got baby-mama drama and is down on his luck so does gay porn for the money. His girl and family find out and shun him. Ant swears he ain’t gay but we all know better. He just hasn’t come to terms with it. So we go on a journey with the broodingly handsome Ant as he goes further down the gay porn rabbit hole.

What I love about it: This show puts a spotlight on the travails everyday black gay men can face while finding themselves. The porn things just make things that much more complicated.

Miles + Cal (The Arthouse)

Miles (bottom) and Cal.









Los Angeles graphic designer Miles (Tamario Fletcher) meets Cal (Willie Albert Loman III) online and they hook up. But Miles soon learns Cal dropped out of college and is now homeless and robbing homes with a buddy to makes ends meet. Despite this they get into a relationship. Like the couple in Red Skin it’s a case of opposites attract but Miles and Cal seem to have a healthy love for each other.

What I love about it: Their scenes together are so sweet and loving you just can’t help but root for Miles and Cal to make it.



The Nigerian

Protest in London against homophobia in Nigeria. Photo courtesy of the London Evening Post.

The Nigerian is 30 years old and is here visiting family. I met him on Grindr.

He is beautiful to behold, with a handsome, oval face and slight, tight body.

He has flawless deep ebony skin that is smooth as a baby because he grows so little body hair.

He is just a mile away so he has become a regular, dropping by to get as much dick as he can before he goes home.

Because being gay in Nigeria is no joke…it can literally get you arrested or even killed.

The Christians in southern Nigeria persecute people who are LGBT. And so do the Muslims in the north.

Newspapers will run gossip articles exposing you.

There is no way to run, he says.

His first male sex was with  a teacher at the boy’s school he attended as a teenager. Which was molestation since he was not at the age of consent.

Now he must find partners in Nigeria and have sex as clandestinely as possible because anybody can report you and have you arrested.

He is also under suspicion because he is grown and has not married and had children. He does not even have a girlfriend.

“I refuse to get married,” the Nigerian said, explaining that despite the dangers he will remain as true to himself as he can.

I feel sorry for him, admire his bravery and wish he could enjoy the same liberties as same gender loving men in the United States.

But until he leaves we will make his visit as enjoyable as possible.

Here are some video clips and photos of him and my partner “Van” and I playing with him:

Video Clip 1

Video Clip 2

Love, Sex and Death in Baltimore

Calvin Fernanda Phair. Photo courtesy of his Facebook page.

I have seen Calvin Fernanda Phair around for a long time. At the gay bars. On Adam4Adam.  And as a suggested friend on my Facebook page.

Slight. Unassuming. He really looked like such a nice, harmless guy.

That is why I was so surprised to learn he is in jail, accused of strangling his roommate to death with electrical cords.

James Dews. Photo from his online obituary:

The Baltimore Sun said the victim Elijah McKeith Smalls, 39, was a roommate but my friends in the gay community who know Phair said they were lovers entangled in an abusive relationship.

Phair, 47, had already stabbed Smalls twice before during arguments. But Smalls stayed. And now he is dead.

The article said when emergency medical personnel arrived Phair was giving the victim CPR. Like he was trying to glue a porcelain figurine back together after accidentally breaking it.

It is so disturbing how love and passion and sex can go hand in hand with violence and death, like the flip side of a coin. Heads or tails? Love me or hate me? Desire me or destroy me? Use me or use me up?

Just three days after the newspaper reported the murder of Smalls they posted an article on the sentencing of Jamison Deberry, 35, for the murder of James Dews, 69, a veteran and retired accountant.

Jamison Deberry

Deberry initially said he killed Dews in self defense. But it turned out he was a sex worker and Dews was a client. He is now serving life in prison.

How long were they in this arrangement? And what prompted Deberry to murder Dews in November 2015?

Did Dews refuse to pay Deberry? Did Deberry rob him and he fought back? Or did Dews threaten to expose him as trade for pay?

The article said Dews injured Deberry in the scuffle and his girlfriend picked him up on a nearby street. Did she know how her man was making money?

We will probably never know.

From his online obituary it is clear family and friends loved and admired Dews and he is greatly missed. All he wanted was a connection. Or maybe he wanted to just bust a nutt. Or was just lonesome and wanted someone to talk to?

Is that worth dying for?


The Sex Party and Porn Star Ramsees

Porn actor Ramsees. Photo courtesy of Next Door Ebony.

Labor Day Sunday I was home alone, dozed off too early in the evening and woke up a little before midnight bored and a little horny.

Then I remembered there was a Buttnaked DC Entertainment sex party down in Washington D.C. that was featuring some new porn star named Ramsees. I hadn’t been to a sex party outside of my own in ages and my partner “Van” was down in Florida so I decided to go.

So I showered, pulled on some white boxer briefs (white was the party color theme) and headed down to the party, which was held in a narrow rowhouse at the top of a cul-de-sac in Southeast D.C.’s Anacostia neighborhood.

Coincidentally I arrived right when Ramsees was getting dropped off. He is a tall, brown-skinned brother with a well proportioned body with handsome, man-next-door features.

I was walking upstairs and he was walking downstairs when we finally met. I looked him up and down admirably and I think he did the same.

“Hey brother,” I said, lightly caressing his body with my left hand as we passed each other on the stairs.

“Hey man,” he answered.

There were not a lot of people at the party — only about 25 showed up in the three or so hours I was there. So I was able to sit down with Ramsees in the basement and chat about his career.

Ramsees tops J.P. Richards. Photo courtesy of Mansurfer.

Ramsees is about 40 years old, hails from Brooklyn, and was into the swinger lifestyle. In fact he had a girlfriend. Porn producers noticed him at a swinger party which led to him being invited to do gay porn at a studio in Toronto.

He said before he did his first solo scene he abstained from sex for weeks so he could really get into it. The strategy worked — soon he was invited to do more scenes. I’ve watched a couple. He is verbal and enthusiastic and his body is alluring. And I’ve always found mature men like him attractive.

He said some of his friends discovered he did gay porn and questioned him about his sexuality but he denies he is gay. Ramsees said he just likes good sex and his partner’s gender does not matter. So I guess he is bisexual.

Ramsees says so far the life of a porn actor is a blast. He gets to travel, the money he earns for each scene is good and he loves the attention from fans, including the guys at the sex party.

“I can get an open mouth and ass anywhere I go,” he said.

Later on the party heated up. Ramsees watched as this young, slender, very vocal bottom called me Daddy as he bounced up and down on my dick while I sat on the sofa in the basement. Later I watched as the same guy got on his hands and knees and sucked Ramsees slim dick.

Then when I was fucking a dude I felt somebody touching my ass and balls and I turned around and it was him. He quickly backed away though.

Eventually we played a bit together in the dark area behind a curtain in the upstairs bedroom. We jacked each other off and rubbed dicks together, frotting passionately. And then I put my dick between his thighs, pumping my hips back and forth like I was fucking him.

But after awhile he abruptly pushed me off. No bother — there were plenty of other hot guys to play with.

When I was dressing to leave I wrote my name and number on a piece of paper and told Ramsees to call me because I wanted to interview him for my blog.

Ramsees said he would call but it’s been two weeks and he has not. So I decided to just write this blog entry instead.



Picking him up off the street in Los Angeles

Boys Town in Los Angeles. Photo from Youtube.

I was on business in Los Angeles a month ago and my partner “Van” tagged along.

As usual we stayed in a hotel on Santa Monica Boulevard in Boys Town so we could walk to The Abbey and the other bars. Or hit Kitchen 24, where you can get a waffle, Caesar salad or a bowl of chili at any time of night.

To celebrate a successful trip Van and I got pedicures and manicures. I got done before Van so decided to run down to a shop a few blocks away to buy some novelty socks that a friend back at home wanted.

That’s when I ran into “Devin” in the intersection  of Santa Monica and Hancock Avenue. A tall, dark-skinned, slender brother with sharp features. He was walking his Jack Russell terrier and the feisty dog had run around his legs and tangled him up in its leash right in the middle of the street.

It was a funny sight but also sexy because Devin’s shirt was open and you could see his broad chest and skin so smooth it looked like Hershey’s chocolate.

“Umm, handsome guy,” I thought, catching his eyes briefly. Then I went about my business. So many black men in West Hollywood are into white men I didn’t think he was interested.

A few hours later I caught up with Van and he said he flirted with a tall, dark-skinned guy on the street, mentioned that he was here with his boyfriend, and that we were in an open relationship and played with others. He said the guy was on his way to a friend’s house party but wanted to come by later and play.

Devin’s torso. Told you it was nice.

By Van’s description I figured out it was Devin. It had to be the same guy.

Devin dropped by when night fell and we had drinks with him and a  buddy of mine who lives in Los Angeles. I walked my buddy to the car while Van and Devin went to our room to get started.

By the time I got there 15 minutes later Van and Devin were already half-dressed and groping each other. Devin was hot — he had modeled and had a beautiful, lean frame and high, tight ass. His was slightly bow-legged, which was hot, too.

We started hugging and kissing and then Devin gave Van and me head. Then Van slid on a condom and opened his ass. And then I took my turn. It went on like that for more than an hour. He loved taking dick and acted like he couldn’t get enough.

We had to sneak Devin’s dog into the hotel room in his backpack. Every so often the sounds of us making love would get him to barking in the bathroom. But luckily the hotel didn’t find out we had a dog in the room.

After we all nutted we fell asleep in the bed — all four of us. Van, me, Devin in the middle, and his dog at the foot. And we woke up and went to breakfast and then we dropped Devin off in Inglewood on the way to the airport and went back home.

I think we made a friend.

“Would love to see you guys again soon,” he texted us today.