My rowhouse is almost 100 years old. So renovation has been a constant thing since I moved in five years ago.
First I added a bathroom. Then my partner Van and I gutted out the old kitchen and had a contractor install a new, modern one. Then it was on to re-do the upstairs bathroom. And on and on.
And we hire handymen to do the work. And sometimes these outwardly macho men do some of the gayest shit.
I met “Carlos” at Club Bunns on game-night. We were spade partners. And we whipped ass, winning two or three games in a row.
He mentioned he did some home repair work so I said, “Damn, man I need a new roof on my back porch. Could you do the job?” And Carlos said, “Damn, skippy.”
But even though Carlos was at a gay bar, playing spades with a bunch of gay dudes, he explained he was straight. In fact, he just did occasional maintenance work at the bar and had a girlfriend.
“There she is over there at getting a drink,” he said. And he introduced me to this cute, little brown-skinned thing.
But that very night Carlos pulled me outside for a cigarette break and started complaining about how he and his girl didn’t get along and fought all the time and how sometimes he just hated going home.
This was a red flag to me — sometimes “straight men” use that “I-ain’t-getting-along-with-my-girlfriend” routine as a way to get out and hook up with men.
Then I mentioned to the club manager that I was going to hire Carlos to do some work
“Hey, that’s my boy,” the manager, “Antonio” said. “Are you going to try to get that ass?”
“Oh, wow, I just met his girlfriend. Does he swing with men, too? I didn’t know that was your piece,” I answered.
Antonio didn’t answer the question right off the bat (later he said he did not play with Carlos). “Oh, he does good work. You should be pleased,” he answered.
Still, I thought it odd a gay man would act so territorial about a handyman.
So a month later Carlos and his buddy “Dominic” showed up to do the work. And right off the bat I noticed they were wearing sagging jeans. And then I noticed they weren’t wearing drawers.
And they are stretching up on ladders and climbing on the porch roof and bending over to cut roofing tiles. And their asses were out. And their pants were sagging so low in front I could see pubic hair. And the dick prints were popping.
And they had to be checking each other out because sometimes Carlos would hold the ladder for Dominic and Dominic’s ass would be right in his face. And vice versa.
And they bantered and joked and joned on each other in a downright affectionate way. Like old lovers.
“I bet they get down with one another,” I thought to myself.
But I didn’t flirt or nothing. Because my gaydar could have been off and I didn’t want to mistake a straight man for a gay man. It was two against one — my partner was in Florida and I didn’t want to have to fight two dudes in my backyard.
So they got the roof done and I paid them for the job and off they went. But not 15 minutes later Carlos called back from Dominic’s phone, claiming he had misplaced his. “Can I come back and look for it,” he asks.
That’s the oldest trick in the book, I thought. I saw him glancing at me through the window while he worked. He was very friendly. He probably wanted to come back and flirt.
But all I did was help him find his phone (turned out he had really left it in the flatbed of Dominic’s truck) and sent him on his way.
But soon another handyman would come into my orbit who was much more obvious.
For months this brother on Adam4Adam was hitting me up, saying he liked my profile and photos and wanted to get together. He explained he was bisexual and not too experienced with male-on-male sex.
This week “Wallace” hit up me again so I invited him over. He explained he was a renovation contractor doing some estimates nearby and would get to me before his next job in Glenn Burnie.
He showed up, tall, balding and light-skinned, with green eyes. Kinda handsome actually.
“I’ve been married for 16 years and have three kids,” he explained. “But I like playing with guys too. I was doing that even before I got married. Sometimes I need a little fix.”
So we went up to the bedroom and played. He took off his work jeans and boots and actually had a beautiful body with light brown, kinky hair dusting his flat stomach, chest and lean legs.
His uncut dick was big and as it got harder the head popped out from the foreskin like a gopher peeping out of a prairie hole.
He was more experienced then he let on. He kissed me sweetly and nibbled my nipples. Then I spread his legs and dove between and started eating his ass. He was clean but had been sweating and his skin had a slight salty taste.
He seemed fascinated with the size of my dick though. Soon he was sucking it and jerking it furiously. It most definitely was not one of his first times on a dick.
“I want to see you cum,” he murmured between licks.
So we lay on our backs and jerked off until it we nutted. His nutt squirted backward in an arc that splattered his belly. I got up and got a damp washcloth so he could clean up.
And we had a post-coital chat.
“So you are a contractor,” I asked. “Are you licensed and bonded?”
“Yup, I can give you my license number.”
“Well, I need some windows reframed on the back of the house. Can you do the job?”
“Yup I sure can. And my rate is usually $150 an hour but I’ll hook you up Immanuel and do it for just $75.”
“That’s a deal,” I said. “Can you come back Friday?”
“Yup I can but I work with my straight buddy. So you gotta act like we didn’t get down. I don’t want him going all over West Baltimore spreading my business.”
“Dude, for $75 an hour you don’t have to worry about that. Besides, I don’t give a fuck about your personal life. That’s none of my business. See ya Friday!”