An order of Venti Thongs at Starbucks Coffee


The Starbucks Coffee on Pennsylvania Avenue in Forestville, Md. where the cruising happened.

A few weeks ago I had a dental checkup early in the morning and didn’t eat breakfast. So I was hungry when I got done with my cleaning.

There is a Starbucks a mile down the road from Dr. Chung’s office on Pennsylvania Avenue in Forestville, Md. So I drove over to get a quick decaf mocha and one of those delicious smoked bacon, egg and cheese breakfast sandwiches. I had my laptop with me so I could catch up on work emails while I ate.

I got my order and picked a seat in the back of the restaurant, near the restroom, where it was more quiet and the frigid breeze from the front door didn’t hit me whenever a customer came or went.

I was busy, tapping away on my laptop, and didn’t notice when  a handsome young Latino man with a parka with a fur-trimmed hood sat in front of me. Well at least I didn’t notice him at first.

But then I happened to glance up and noticed he had let the back of his jeans slide down and was wearing a bright red thong that disappeared into the crack of his ass — or at least the part of his ass crack that I could see.

“Man, he must not know his ass is hanging out and it’s cold as shit today,” I thought.

But then he looked over his shoulder and saw me looking at that fat ass and winked.

“Okay, this is cute,” I thought. So I smiled back and put my head down and got back to work on my laptop.

However, my appreciative smile must have encouraged him to cruise harder. He got up and walked to the door of the bathroom immediately to my right, opened it and stood in the threshold and motioned for me to follow him.

“What the fuck?,” I thought. “People fucking up in Starbucks bathrooms now? I thought this shit only happened at train stations, truck stops and gym locker rooms.”

I smiled at him again and shook my head no. He wasn’t bad looking — a little on the plump side though — but there was no way I was having public sex at Starbucks. Especially a crowded, early morning one.

But he didn’t give up. I put my head back down and kept working and he walked outside the restaurant and stood with his back to the glass window near my table and pulled his jeans almost all the way down to his knees so I could see his ass in all its glory.

“This motherfucker is too thirsty,” I thought. Time to end this show.

I quickly logged off, packed up my laptop, and headed to my car.

Hey, I may be sexually active but to me coffee and cruising don’t mix.