Florida Swinging: DL Paranoia


A street in Liberty City. Photo from Wikipedia.

Living in the more liberal Baltimore-Washington, D.C. area I take my gay rights for granted.

I can go to gay bars, gay clubs, gay bathhouses, gay book clubs, gay dodgeball leagues, gay plays etc. and not give it a thought. Walk down the street with my dude and dare somebody to fuck with me.

But when I traveled to Fort Lauderdale this week I was reminded of just how fortunate I have it.

This brother down in Liberty City, a predominately black neighborhood in Florida featured in the Oscar-winning gay film “Moonlight,” hit me up on Adam4Adam.

He was extremely paranoid but finally opened his pictures to show a handsome, thick, dark-skinned brother with a beautiful black beard. He identified as top but said he wanted to meet up and suck my dick.

I explained that I was here with my partner and any action would be a threesome or a small group.

“Nah,  I don’t do that bruh. I’m down-low.”

Tarrell Alvin McCraney.

I told him not to worry. Nobody was going to out him for coming by and sucking a little dick and busting a nutt. I even gave him the URL for my blog, explaining that I had been in the closet like him and maybe he would like to read about my journey.

But he wasn’t having it.

“Did you show your dude my pic?”

“So what if I did,” I texted back.

“I see where this is going. No bruh not interested,” he answered.

And he blocked me.

It’s sad. This brother is in his mid 40s still jumping through these mental hoops.

And he wasn’t the only one. I haven’t gotten hit on by so many black men identifying as DL in years.

But I had to think about it awhile and get off my rainbow-colored high horse.

This man lives in one of the toughest parts of the city where being a gay man could be dangerous. In fact the film “Moonlight,” which addresses homophobia and bullying, is based on a play from Tarrell Alvin McCraney, an openly gay man raised in Liberty City.

And despite the vibrant gay in Fort Lauderdale’s predominately white Wilton Manors south Florida is still home to people who were born or are the children of people from conservative, homophobic nations in the Caribbean and Latin America.

So these paranoid men and I are coming from two different places and I have to accept that.