Is My Straight Best Friend Really Gay?

Photo courtesy of Nairaland Forum.

“Jeremy” and I have been friends for more than 30 years.

He was my brother’s friend in college.  Jeremy would come home to our house weekends since he was from Los Angeles and couldn’t get back to California often. And he loved my Mom’s home cooking.

So we started hanging out and soon he was closer to me than he was to my brother. My Mom called him her “Other Son.” Heck, they still talk on the phone from time to time.

Jeremy and I traveled together. Hit the clubs together most every weekend. And fought like cats and dogs but were thick as thieves the next day because that’s how friends do.

He was always the ladies’ man. Always pulled the girls while I almost exclusively dated my ex-wife. Now 34 years later he is divorced twice and recently broke up with a law school student young enough to be our daughter.

But I always wondered whether he could be curious about being gay. Or if he was already playing with men.

After I separated from my wife I was on business travel to Los Angeles and hung out with him. We were in the food court of a Walmart in South-central, eating at a Chinese buffet. I cleared my throat and confessed.

“Hey I just want to be honest with you and let you know I’m gay now.”

He didn’t miss a beat.

“Immanuel, I always thought you could be gay. Don’t worry about it.”

And we just kept talking like nothing happened.

Then I remembered way back in the late 80’s the things he would do.

Like we would go to the gay nightclub Traxx on “Straight Night” Tuesdays and one time he kiddingly tried to pull me on the dance floor like we were a couple while a group of women nearby gawked.

One week we hopped in my Nissan, pulled off the T-top and drove to Montreal. And when we got to the hotel room we shared he lay back on the bed and pulled his legs up in the air and jokingly said, “Come and get it” like he wanted me to fuck him.

And how, even though we were hanging out with girls we met there, Jeremy made it a point of taking me out alone to a fancy French restaurant to celebrate my birthday. And when we walked back to the hotel he put his arms around me as we walked the dark, cobblestone streets of Vieux Montreal.

Like what straight black man does that to his friend?

Thirty years later the hints keep dropping.

This Spring we were texting and he bragged casually about how big his dick is. Like what straight black man does this to his friend, especially one he knows is gay?

I just ignored it. Although in hindsight I wish I had asked him to send a pic so we could compare dick size.

Then in June he texted me to say he broke up again with the young girlfriend.

“So you know I broke up with Marlene. Bruh, the gays are all over me now. LOL!”

“Come get your mens Negro.”

I just played it off. Jeremy, a handsome, slightly thick pecan-brown brother with wavy graying hair, was always a joker. So I kidded back.

“When you get ready to try gay holler..I will pay for your gay training academy tuition lol.”

But I wondered. What straight black man would text something like that in the same text message to announce he broke up with a woman he had been dating for at least two years? And were Jeremy’s jokes hiding his true feelings?

My partner “Van” and I visited Los Angeles in August when I went out on business and we had drinks with Jeremy at Kitchen 24 in West Hollywood’s Boys Town. A guy we had hooked up with, “Devin” (Picking him up off the street in Los Angeles), was with us.

Devin, Van and I are gay but the conversation was about the hot mess that is Donald Trump, life on the East Coast versus West Coast and other stuff. It was Jeremy — the lone straight man in the quartet — who kept inserting gay into the conversation.

“You know I work out in this gym and there are a lot of gay guys there. They keep trying to look at this big dick. Shit man, I can even go to the sauna without somebody hitting on me.”

Devin, Van and I just laughed and changed the subject. I think I glanced across the table to get Van’s reaction. I knew he wanted to go all up and down Jeremy with questions but he didn’t — it was their first time meeting so I gathered Van wanted to be polite and make a good impression on my best buddy.

Later after Jeremy left Van said he probably is gay-curious and might have already tasted the Rainbow. So Van said the next time Jeremy traveled East I had permission to try to seduce him.

That was a good idea but I didn’t wait. Devin seemed interested in Jeremy so I gave each of them the other’s number.

“Hey Devin seemed cool but you know I’m not gay, right,” Jeremy said. “But I don’t mind hanging out with him if it’s at an event or something.”

Okay, we will see how this goes.



22 thoughts on “Is My Straight Best Friend Really Gay?

  1. MMMM, the plot thickens. I agree with ‘Van’…..he may be gay curious. And he may play with the right guy!! Keep us posted.

  2. If he is your best friend, I’d leave it alone. Sex always screws up a relationship. I was best friends with a “straight” guy who loved hanging out with the gays. He adopted the lingo and everything. He is attractive so one of my friends tried to hit on him despite my warning him not to. As soon as he hit, my “straight” friend hollered and protested saying I don’t go that way. I’m married .. blah, blah, blah. There is all kinds of sexuality and sexual preferences on the spectrum. Some guys like to hang on the periphery of the pool and they like the attention they get from gay guys but they don’t want to jump in the water so to speak. Bottom line: let somebody else turn him .. if he is to be turned. Next and keep it moving.

  3. Why did Adina Howard’s “Freak Like Me” come on in the background when I read the part about Jeremy putting his legs up in the air?!?!?!😉😉😀😃😄😁🤡😄🤡

    I am SO done with these bi-curious & questioning fellows. Over like #DONE.

    Have fun, though.

  4. I wonder why gay guys have a fascination about trying to drag straight guys into their circle. It almost seems to me like a forbitten faternity and when a buddy or family member is suspected gay guys get excited. And if they are right; They yell to their gay friends I knew it, I knew it, I knew it. They sleep better that night knowing their suspicion was validated. You clearly stated that you’re going to leave Jeremy alone and I admire that. Enjoy your friendship with him and don’t try to dischifor his sexuality because it don’t really matter. He seems like a open minded guy and a lot of fun. Excuse my spelling. Lol

  5. We all love our straight best friends – and would ideally make the perfect partner. They hug us way too long, they tell us they love us, they would make sacrifices for us, and we always want sometimes to push the boundaries – coz hey, we have this crush on them – but would they cross the line for us? I would advise that if snything is to happen or if they are gay curious, let them be the one to initiate it. If you do it, it can backfire spectacularly – for they might not want to be seen that way.
    Taking them to a bisexual strip club is only going to add to the confusion. Have a proper conversation with him – he seemed to brush aside (cmon -you used to be married, and have 2 children – I would want to know how things are ) quickly when you mentioned you are gay – I.would want to know more if you were my best friend. Then ask if if he ever had an attraction to men at all. And would he consider? Conversation can turn either way – but at least you will know where he stands

    • Great advice Blackdiamond. And he often does end conversations by saying he loves me. Right now I enjoy our friendship and bedding him down is not a priority at all…I get enough sex elsewhere. However I may get the nerve to have a conversation with him about his sexuality.

  6. My best friend is straight. I told him years ago about me. Him and his girlfriend excepted me and I’m more closer to him than my gay friends. He says questionable things and sometimes acts to protectective over me which make me think he may be curious or like me like that. But I never seen a curious or bisexual get so much pussy and be so girl crazy. Normally a bisexual guy will just have a girlfriend or wife and have a bunch of dudes on the side. I never seen a bi guy be girl crazy. I won’t bring him around my gay friends because l like to keep those worlds separate but my gay friends no about him. I also have a gay cousin who know him because we family and we been friends for so long. My cousin also feel like he gay because he accepted me and my cousin swore he was my bf. That is why I don’t like to mix the two worlds because people assume to much. Gay people want to be accepted so bad but as soon as they are accepted they think the person must be gay. If your friend says he straight then respect it the same way he respect you being gay. If he is gay eventually you will know because he will eventually tell you. But if you trying to sick the gay hounds on him you could possibly loose a friend. Just keep being his friend and respect what he tells you until he tells you otherwise I don’t give a shit how many signs he showing. Since i been having gay friends they come and go but I still have the same straight friends and don’t plan on looseing them Just because I want to be in their business. I’m sure for the straight friends who I haven’t told probably suspect me because I have not had a girlfriend or even a girl companion in years and the girls be loving me. But they respect me and I respect them.

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