The DL life is still alive and well in 2017

Photo courtesy of Pinterest.

I met “Jose” and “Ben” at the Fireplace bar down in Washington, D.C.

It was the long Presidents’ Day Weekend, my partner “Van” was in Florida, and a buddy bored with Baltimore bars dragged me down with him to D.C.  for a change of scenery.

The Fireplace is notorious for its strong drinks and I was pretty tipsy when I met Jose and Ben, a couple from Philadelphia who were visiting D.C. with a group of friends.

Jose was originally from Venezuela while Ben is a brown-skinned black man from Philadelphia. They were so handsome and looked so well matched — like a pair of gloves — that it just lifted my heart to see them. And they complimented me on looking so good for my age, which didn’t hurt.

We exchanged numbers and I friended them on Facebook. And we promised to get together next time they came down. I mean, we hit it off just that well.

So it surprised me a few weeks later when Jose updated his status to say he married and posted photos of himself and beautiful, diminutive young Latino lady at a reception cutting a wedding cake. I congratulated him on his wedding on his Facebook post but I privately messaged him to get the real story.

It turns out Jose’s family is very conservative and homophobic and he is not out to them. So he married a woman as a cover. And the woman benefited too — she is here illegally and married Jose to gain legal residency.

“Does your wife know you are gay?”

“No,” Jose said. “A matter of fact Bennie was the best man at my wedding. Go back to my Facebook page and see — I posted more pictures.”

And I did go look and sure enough there they were, pictures of the two of them posing with the bride. Or just posing together. A matter of fact they looked more into each other than Jose was into his bride, although that could have been just my mind playing tricks because I knew they were lovers.

“You two are still fucking,” I asked.

“Yep,” Jose answered. “And I’m fucking her too.”

“Wow, okay, I’m not judging.”

But this made me think.

Jose and Ben are in their mid 20’s. It is legal for people of the same gender to marry now. Gay rights have progressed by leaps and bounds in the past 20 years. So it surprised me that young people were still living the married, down-low life that many men my age are still doing.

I guess I’m just naive to think that things like being married to a woman to cover your sexuality had gone out of style by 2017.

11 thoughts on “The DL life is still alive and well in 2017

  1. I can only imagine what Jose had to contend with to arrive at that decision, I bet it was not taken lightly.

  2. Messy.. in this day n age.. too much. This is risky for all involved.. If U want to swing why not just stay single. No way.

    • Yes it’s way too much. But I purposely decided not to say judgemental. I really can’t put myself into their shoes. I will just try to be a supportive friend when the shit hits the fan, which it will.

  3. I would flat out say that this arrangement wont last too long however, hispanic men are notorious for having side peices, ask any latina that wasn’t born and raised in the states. Ive watched youtube vids of females traveling all around Latin America and they make it clear that alot of the guys arent too faithful but are quick to try to romance you into a relationship, thats why they dont even bother hooking up. Hell I even work with a Peruvian son of a gun who cant resist making playful sexual innuendos at every female he finds attractive and the joker is married with two kids. It doesnt surprise me that he would go to these lengths just for his family (family opinion is highly reguarded in other cultures), but the fact that he is a young kat doing this, is what is throwing me off.

    Btw, Does this mean that Ben will be doing the same on his end or is he out and proud? Does this mean Ben gets to sleep around with other guys? This is too messy for 2017.

    • Thanks for your insight theboyking10. He said he and Ben fool around with others. And Jose flirts a lot. He sent me a short video today of him playing in his phat ass with his fingers. I think them two want a 3sum if they can get away from Philly. It’s only 80 miles away.

  4. Pingback: The Down-Low Husband Needs Dick | Confessions of a Down-Low Brother: The Sequel

  5. I think because you are older and you saw so much change in the gay community that you just think that everybody should be out with their rainbow flags. Black people still don’t have the acceptance they should. So I don’t know why u think gay people will. And a lot that starts with family. What they was taught and what type of group they are trying to fit in. It will take more then laws to change how gay people are viewed by the rest of society. It will come one day but it will come slowly. I think we should be happy for what we have now and keep pushing the envelope so each new gay generation can have it a little more easier.

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