Dude had a Big Ole Butt

So today I got off the commuter train and was leaving Union Station in D.C. on the way to the office and saw this dude with the Ass of Life.

It strained his pants at the seams and was so big it busted out of the back flap of his suit jacket.

I couldn’t help staring. It was fascinating. Hypnotic.

He had to know his ass was phatt. His clothes were too tight. It had to be intentional to dress like that.

When did dudes start doing start wearing tight clothes to show off ass?

I had to take a pic on the sly. Here it is:

I’m Coming Out (Whether I Like It or Not)

So I’m down in Fort Lauderdale for the holidays with “Van” and I missed a holiday brunch back home with some of my high school class.

I was touched that they took the time to send a video message to my cellphone to show I was missed.

“Hey Immanuel!,” they yelled in unison.

But later that day a close friend of mine who knows I am out, “Ariah,” called   to tell me I was the object of gossip at the event.

“People are wondering if you are gay,” Ariah said. “I just kept my mouth shut and didn’t offer any information.”

But it seemed like some of my classmates knew. Maybe I was seen out at a club or bar. Others, it seemed, were doing detective work on my Facebook page for clues.

I was too fit for a man my age and was at the gym alot, they said. I dressed too well. I knew how to cook. I gardened. I never posted a photo of myself on a date with a female.

So I must be gay now.

One of my classmates at the brunch who I was really close to (her Mom is like my second Mom) was upset I didnt tell her and privately texted to say she wanted to talk to me as soon as I got back to Maryland.

Oh brother. When it rains it pours.

My best buddy “Barry” also called while I was in Florida.

“Where are you?” he asked.

I was at Hunters bar in Ft. Lauderdale’s very gay Wilton Manors neighborhood , enjoying karaoke with friends.

“I’m in Florida with friends.”


Barry had met Van and we had hung out with him and his girlfriend. I thought Barry knew. But he didn’t.

“Look Barry  I’m with Van and we are in a relationship. You know I’m gay now.”

He didn’t miss a beat.

“Look you are my best friend and I love you. I don’t care what you do.”

Then he talked about why he disliked my ex-wife and how she wasn’t good to me. Then he told me he wanted to talk to Van and and they talked awhile before Van handed the phone back to me.

“Look, we all have to hang out soon,” Barry said. And we got off the phone.

Van and I talked about these developments. I am really tired of hiding him from my straight friends.

So while in Florida we had portraits done by celebrity photographer Duane Cramer, who is a friend of ours. We took the photos by a canal in Wilton Manors.

When they are ready I will post one on Facebook. I won’t announce anything I’ll just put it there.

And I’ll leave it up to them to figure it out.