I dated “Clive” briefly when I first moved to Baltimore three years ago. Nice enough fellow but I had to drop him with a quickness.
Here is why. We weren’t dating a month and he was already talking about marriage and picking out spots for the reception.
“Man, pump your brakes. We don’t even really know each other,” I said. “Besides you have already been married three times — twice to women and once to a man. I don’t want to be another link on your chain.”
You see Clive is one of those gay men who is into being in a relationship. They don’t give a fuck who it is as long as they can brag to others “I got a man.” It gives their fragile egos a boost, I suppose.
So I moved on and Clive soon started dating this tall, husky, handsome dark-skinned man from South Carolina. Within weeks they had moved in together and eventually got a stylish, newly renovated apartment in a rowhouse in Baltimore’s up-and-coming Bolton Hill neighborhood.
Yeah, Clive moves fast when he wants to have a boyfriend.
But the relationship wasn’t six months old before Clive was hitting me up for sex.
“I miss that big black dick — this nigger ain’t hitting this ass right like you did.”
“You should see his dick Immanuel — it’s no bigger than my pinky finger when it’s hard. I ain’t feeling shit.”
“He works weekends and as soon as he leaves I got this big dick trade boy that lives up the block come over and set me up right.”
What Clive says makes me sick. His guy is really nice although a bit passive and clueless. I know because my partner “Van” and I have socialized with them.
“Clive, you knew his dick was small when you dated him. So why did you get into a relationship with a person you know wasn’t going to satisfy you?”
Clive didn’t respond. But I already knew the answer.
Clive has a big, pretty penis and claims he is a verse top. But he is really a bottom. His poor dude probably thought he was going to get that dick all the time and Clive flipped the script on him.
So now they were two bottoms “bumping pussies.”
Why aren’t men honest about what they want sexually? Why do they rush into relationships that end up failing because they weren’t open and up front at the start?
Well, guess what? Friday morning I was on Jack’d and got hit up on by a profile I had never seen before.
“Hey, can I come through. I need some good dick,” the man texted.
“Open your private so I can see you,” I texted back.
I looked at the photo. It was a dark-skinned, handsome, corn-fed looking brother. Ummm, he looks familiar. What? Well I’ll be damned. It was Clive’s partner. He was trying to get dick outside the relationship too!
I could have been messy. Clive and I are still friendly and I could have informed him what his partner is up too. Or I could have told Clive’s clueless partner, “Hey, your boy is trying to get my dick too!”
One buddy even suggested I invite them both over to fuck at the same time and sit back and watch the surprise and the fireworks.
Instead I did the right thing. Or at least what I think is the right thing.
“Hey man,” I texted Clive’s boyfriend. “I know your boyfriend and I think it would be awkward for me to mess with you so let’s act like this didn’t happen.”
“Oh, okay,” he responded.
And that was that.