This is the fun friend. The one you hang out when your spirits are down and you need a lift. He can drink you under the table and his loud is always the best. He knows where all the parties are — even the sex parties. And when things get crazy he has your back — Negro can fight! But don’t go to him expecting to unload about all your relationship and work woes. “Fuck that shit man,” he will say. “Let’s go out and get fucked up and get some ass!”
He is world weary. He’s been around. And he knows all the angles. All the tricks gay men play. And he cuts through that bullshit.This is the friend you can go visit, watch a football game, have a good meal, and get advice and a prescription on whatever is ailing you. He’s the supportive type — more like a close brother or favorite uncle.
When you need some good dick or ass he is there. No questions asked. As long as you both have the time and opportunity to meet it’s on. No strings. No commitments. Shit, you don’t even really have to talk much. He respects your obligations and relationships and you respect his. He doesn’t like you for your mind. He doesn’t like your bank account. He likes your body and your sexual skills. He’s the perfect ego booster.
He is good for a good time — the theater, restaurants, shopping and sporting events. But on the low he envies you so you have to watch your back. He will try to fuck with dudes you fuck — or even get your boyfriend behind your back or after you break up. He will try to drive a car as expensive as ours. Or decorate his place as well as yours. Yet, there is something about the friendship you like so you still hang out. Perhaps he has done you a great favor. Or he has connections that would benefit your network. Or he’s just a funny guy. Or be honest a part of you likes the drama. As long as you go into this friendship with clear eyes, don’t have high expectations and know when to keep keep this person at arms length you will be fine.
Mr. Thick and Thin
He’s seen you through thick and thin. When you were flying high and when you were broke and unemployed and he gave you that $350 to catch up on your car payment no questions asked. You have probably been friends since you were children or teens or just out of college. Or perhaps you were lovers who didn’t work out and now it’s platonic. You connect at a deep level. You can talk on the phone for hours. Or not see each other for months or even years but get back together and pick up just where you left off. They have seen the ugliest side of you– when you have been selfish, ratchet and just plain wrong — but know deep down inside you are a good dude who will come around. “Hey man, we all fuck up. You’ll always be down with me.” Trust me, at most you will only get two or three friends like this in your life. So hold them tight.