“Javier” is a handsome, 40-something man from Venezuela who sports a closely cropped beard.
He looks like all parts of the world rolled into one – Africa, Latino and European.
Javier loves black men above all others and has been in a relationship with “Raoul” for 14 years.
They own a home in a desirable Northeast Washington. D.C. neighborhood and enjoy a wide circle of friends.
But there is a problem. Raoul’s big black dick, which Javier adores, just isn’t getting hard. They haven’t had sex in months and when they did last the experience was just “meh.”
They don’t talk about it. Javier loves Raoul and they have so much time and money invested in each other he is loathe to separate.
And they still enjoy each other’s companionship.
So Javier slips out, taking off work early so he can get dick. The bigger and blacker the better.
“I do it for my sanity but I don’t know how long this situation can go in,” he says.
Another acquaintance named “Ryan” has been in a relationship and married to his man for 20 years. But his partner is overcoming prostate cancer and is having erectile problems.
Ryan loves him but damn a gay man has to have dick and ass sometimes. So he will say he is having a night out and visit the Crew Club, or The Eagle or Glorious Healthclub in D.C. and suck dick to his heart’s content.
Many gay men want monogamy and that one guy to fulfill their dreams. But relationships can be hard and require give and take and understanding and turning a blind eye from time to time.
I don’t think many people realize this.
Ryan thinks his partner knows he steps out but understands. Javier thinks his dude may be fucking around which is why his dick won’t get hard.
Since having an openly open relationship is out of the question for both – Javier said his dude is possessive and Ryan doesn’t want to crush his man’s ego – it seems things will remain as they are.
I’m not one to judge. This is reality for many gay men.
Q: Readers what do you think?