Gus and the Arab Man

Photo courtesy of thepaperblogcom.

Photo courtesy of thepaperblogcom.

My buddy “Gus” wears a gold bracelet on his wrist, studded with diamonds.

It looks so fabulous you would think it is fake, but it’s not. It costs a cool $10,000.

Gus is an educated, professional, brown-skinned black Washingtonian around 40 years old but I know he is not making enough bank to drop that much on an accessory.

But over drinks Wednesday night Gus explained that it is a gift from his Saudi Arabian friend “Fadi.”

Gus met Fadi in an innocuous way — they started following each other on Instagram. And soon they started chatting and video calling. And it became clear that Fadi, although he is married with three kids, wanted to find an unclockable gay man to share some time.

That is because Saudi Arabia is fiercely homophobic and follows the ultra-conservative Wahhabi Islam faith. Being gay or a person who is transgender is punishable by death.

Fadi invited Gus over to Saudi, explaining that he would pay for the hotel and all expenses. Gus was nervous — was he going into a set-up? But he decided to go anyway, although he told his sister where he was going and why so she would at least know what became of him if things went sour.

Arab society, despite its homophobia, is very homoerotic. It is not uncommon to see men holding hands and even dancing together. Photo courtesy of

Arab society, despite its homophobia, is very homoerotic. It is not uncommon to see men holding hands and even dancing together. Photo courtesy of

Fadi was the consummate gentlemen. He flew Gus over first-class, took him on shopping sprees for designer gear and presented him with a cashier’s check for $10,000 for visiting him. His only requirement was that Gus wear traditional Arab attire and have raw sex with him because he didn’t like condoms.

On the second night Fadi came to Gus’s hotel room to consummate the sexual part of his arrangement.

“The sex was hot,” Gus said. “He ate me out for a long time and his dick was huge.”

Saudi men often greet each other by rubbing noses. Tell me that ain't gay. Photo courtesy of

Saudi men often greet each other by rubbing noses. Tell me that ain’t gay. Photo courtesy of

On other nights they went socializing and Gus discovered Arab society is a lot more homoerotic than you would believe by reading the headlines. Women are second-class citizens and men do not associate with woman they are not related to.

So men mostly hang around each other. Eating together. Dancing together. Holding hands. And gay life is there but deeply underground. Men meet each other for private parties that sometimes turn into sex parties.

“Fadi took me to one of them but it made me uncomfortable,” Gus said. “I thought maybe the men there thought they were going to gangbang me. But when I told Fadi I wanted to leave he was fine with that and we left.”

Three years later they stay in contact and Fadi has even visited the United States to see his African American boo.

“I’m only telling you this because you don’t judge Immanuel,” he said.

Nope, I’m not mad at him. I’ve heard stranger things in life.

Readers here is an article that ran in The Atlantic back in 2007 about gay life in Saudi Arabia. I was still married to my ex-wife and I can remember buying it and reading it clandestinely and throwing it away as soon as I could. It was really informative and reminded me that the DL lifestyle just does not exist among some Americans. They take it to a whole new level in Saudi Arabia.

29 thoughts on “Gus and the Arab Man

    • I don’t judge either. I just talk to people and relate their stories…which got me some heat for “His Uncle Turned Him Out.” Gus wants me to meet Fado when he visits soon. That should be interesting…

  1. Interesting post. I find Arab men very attractive and sexy. I’ve dated one in my college days. He was a pure gentleman. However he was more Americanized and open minded

    • Khalil when Gus told me this story yesterday at Happy Hour I thought of the movie “Pretty Woman.” It was hard to believe but Gus insists it’s true and now he wants me to meet this guy lol. Like you I find Arab men attractive — I used to love watching Turkish and North African porn. Glad you had a great experience in college.

  2. Will they cut the bullshit and just fuck already. I’ve noticed all that homoerotic behavior they display. Latin men also behave this way with each other. All touchy feely.

  3. Yeah, I find Arab men very appealing especially because they look so masculine, what with the hairy bodies, and macho demeanor. I would love to hook up with a daddy like Fadi!!

    • My friend Anitra (I blogged about her) recommended She also told me to tell you to be careful…a lot of men o the web are crazy and date rapes are rising. She also recommended you join Facebook groups that cater to black women who line foreign or white men and vice versa.

    • Wow I agree. Gus said he came home and immediately tested for STDs and remains negative. But why take the risk for a few thousand? And I asked if Fadi wad in the oil business and Gus said he NEVER asks about how he makes money. He tries to keep their interactions light and pleasant, he said.

  4. The 3 children, the marriage and the raw sex bothers me. Maybe that’s why I haven’t been able to score this kind of deal/arrangement [yet]…#honesttoaFAULT

  5. I have been reading you for years a while but I have never commented until now. Something is seriously wrong with you if you think it’s OK to share a story about a man trading gifts for raw sex with an Arab. Do you realize this man was willing to risk his life for material things? What if Fadi had transmitted HIV to Gus or murdered him in a country with little protection for foreigners? Why do you think it’s OK to share this type of story on your platform? WTF is wrong with you, bro? Where do you draw the line?

    I am glad your wife left you because you seem to be a nihilistic hedonist. This is what you left your family for? Throwing sex parties, posting nudes of yourself having sex, promoting risky prostitution and dangerous casual sex with street thugs? And you are 50+yrs? If this is what it means to be gay and 50, then you are the epitome of what not to do with your one single precious life. You are an embarrassment bruh. I am getting married soon and I promise myself that I will NEVER end up like you.

    • Congratulations on your upcoming marriage! I wish you nothing but the best.

      In my blog I endeavor to depict African American gay life in the early 21st Century. I listen to folks and I don’t judge. I share their stories and let the readers form their own opinion.

      So relax.

      Would I enter into an arrangement for money? No. However, I understand some people may be desperate for money and use their bodies to earn it. Would I have raw sex for money — never. I don’t even have raw sex for free!

      Meanwhile I left my wife, not the other way round. I have a great life and enjoy it immensely. I wish you the same.

      Take care!

      • Hi Immanuel, I am your dominican friend and this is the second time I comment. I agree in part with the commentor. I am not against open relationships, but somehow I believe that for emotional stabilty and physical health there are somethings that one shouldn t do. 6 weeks ago one of the hottest guys I have ever seen gave me the eye in the street, 2 weeks ago I so his ad at A4A, turns out he is a scort. Even though I messaged him and stablished some contact and the fact that he even agreed to not charge me for sex since he was attracted to me as well, I decided not to take the risk.

        I have a tabboo against men who sale sex or buy it. I think the former are either arrogant or materialistic and the latter have a very low self esteem.

        Recently I met a gorgeous young man who is barely legal and extremely hot. Guess what? We are dating and even though we want to be open, it will be mostly an exclusive relationship.He is more into me than I am into him, and I have no money, I mean he even pay for the last bus we took before I had the chance to pull my wallet.

        My conclusion is that when someone is healthy and really likes you they will be with you no matter what.

        I am starting to believe that men who are always looking for new sexual partners non stop (unless it is a short phase of experimentation during youth) must have serious issues.

        The saddest part about gay men that I have found out is that the older the more creepy and they become and the more they sexualize other human beings. I did not notice that it could happen to myself until I met this new young man.

        I do not want to become one of those old horny, creepy older gay dudes when I hit my forties of fifties. I want to believe in the beauty and naivite of love, because that essence is what keep us being human.

        I make my mind that I will never be with anyone only for the sex, but also for an emotional connection, even if I am in an open relationship of some sort.

        I dont judge you, as I dont judge the gay community, but I believe we would all be better off If we slowed down and appreciate the great people we have in our life and stopped chasing for the next hot body.

      • Hey Bill SG:

        It’s been great getting to know you and even video-chatting with you. I appreciate your thoughtful comment. However, I have issues with some of what you write.

        In this blog I don’t judge people I talk to and interview. Their stories are their own. Their life experiences are their own. I try to accept all people because none of us is perfect.

        You have a taboo against men who sell themselves. That is fine. I don’t believe in paying for sex either. However, I don’t judge people who do so.

        Sometimes people sell their bodies to fuel a drug habit. Sometimes they are, as you say, arrogant, materialistic or have low-esteem. However, there are thousands of young people who are LGBT who have families who have abandoned and thrown them out their homes due to homophobia. Some of these young people sell themselves to earn money for food to eat or a place to stay. I’m sure this situation also exists in your country.

        That this happens is horrible and I feel for these kids. However, I have never been hungry or lacked for shelter so I can’t judge them for doing this. I only pray they get help when they need it.

        Congratulations on your new relationship. I wish you all the best, although you admit he is more into you than you are into him. However, realize that all relationships are different. Some men have closed, exclusive relationships. Some have open ones. Neither is good or bad. Life is not black or white. A relationship is what two people who love each other decide it will be.

        As regards people who like to find new partners …some people male and female love sex and love it with different people. Others just are not into relationships. As long as they practice safe sex and are open and up front with their partners I have no problem with this. Again Billy, try not to judge people who don’t view things the same way you do. Human beings are not one-size fits all. I know many, many successful, long-term gay relationships that are open and I know many that are not — it depends on the people.

        As far as being creepy and older I am in my 50s, have a partner in their 50s, and we enjoy sex with ourselves and others but are in a loving, committed relationship. We aren’t on a constant hunt for the next hot body — we just have our regulars. And we do appreciate the wonderful folks we have in our lives.

        It works for us but is not for others. I hope as you get older you continue to to enjoy a healthy sex life with the partner you choose. Take care!


  6. My dearest Immanuel, why are gay folks so judgemental?? So smug,supercilious and sanctimonious??? Why can’t people let others just live thier lives the best way they know how??? What is with all this vitriol they choose to spew forth??? Is it a case of “misery loves company”?? That you are not content with your life as it is, that you would want to bring others down?? Is it not enough that the heterosexual dominated world despises us sexual minorities, we have to do it to ourselves??

    • Fortune absolutely! I don’t understand it myself. We should be the most compassionate and understanding. Gus read the blog and said some of the comments were hurtful. That bothered me. He is such a warm person with a good circle of friends. And he really enjoys life. Who am I to judge the decisions some people make in life when the ones I have made have not been the best. We are all human. Enjoy your day!

  7. Thank you Immanuel for speaking your truth and showing all the various shapes and sizes, colours and shades that we sexual minorities come in. I thank God for having you in my life even if I only know you online. It gives me much joy to hear of your multitude of experiences and escapades. You really have no idea how much I long for your posts. So fuck the detractors and haters and keep writing on your world view. Much love from Nairobi, Kenya!!

  8. Why does it sound like a man shoving a dick up yall ass just feels great? That doesn’t hurt you? Dont you bleed? Yall make it sound like getting some popcorn.. AND WHAT ABOUT HIS WIFE????

    • Good questions Trish. Some men like anal sex but many do not. A lot of straight couples do anal sex too. I suggest you Google and read about it and why folks find it pleasurable. As for his wife yes it’s unfair and wrong what he is doing. But remember there are plenty of women who cheat on their husbands and boyfriends (and girlfriends) too.

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