When I Stopped Lying on the Web


The new profile pic.

Be honest. Many of us lie about our ages on online hookup sites.

I know guys who have been 35 for almost a decade. And men who I know are pushing 60 have the nerve to say they are 49.

Part of the reason is the gay world is  obsessed with youth. Some folks really believe you are over the hill at 35.

That is until they get to be 35 themselves and realize it really isn’t that old at all.

My partner “Van” thinks this is silly. Why front? Be honest, he says.

Yet another buddy of mine who is in his mid 50s also puts up his real age and said he has no shortage of folks hitting his sexy chocolate ass up, including alot of 20-somethings who want that Daddy experience.

So yesterday I updated my Adam4Adam profile.

I keep in good shape and try to exercise and eat well. I enjoy life. Im virile. I’m happy and in a good relationship.

So I changed my age from 45 to 51, which is what I really am. And I took a nice new pic.

And I said I was in a relationship but we play.

And I clicked the button and waited. Nervous as hell that my sex appeal has evaporated like water in a tea kettle left on the burner too long because I’m over the big 5-0.

But guess what? My inbox has blown up. Folks are hitting me up right and left. Of all ages.

“Can I get with you and your boi?”

“Is your partner as sexy as you?”

“Hot pics Daddy.”

Wow. Honesty really is the best policy!

42 thoughts on “When I Stopped Lying on the Web

  1. Hahahaha! Of course, honesty is the best policy, but, let’s be honest Immanuel. It’s kinda hard to lose with the stuff you use! People don’t mind you being honest when you’re close to the beau ideal of what everyone is looking for. When you’re not close to that standard, it can be a little tricky. The last guy I online dated I met through A4A. He told me he was 5′ 6″ and weighed 200 pounds. Okay; that’s not horrible to me, but when I invited him over, opened the door and saw a 5′ 2″ 250 pound dude standing there, let’s just say it took everything including the Holy Ghost for me to stay polite. I made the best of it. We had dinner. He was a wonderful guy, but I wasn’t attracted to him. Then, I had an epiphany. Had he been honest, would I have even bothered to talk to him? Probably not. Some people feel the need to lie just to get their foot in the door. It goes back to what you said. Gay culture is so obsessed with youth and perfection that those of us who don’t fit that mold have a hard time. Confidence is the key. Once you’re confident, you can live your truth and do just fine (at least, it works for me, anyhow).

    Have a great day!!!

    • Markeedee76 that’s a funny/sad story. I hate people that lie on their profiles, especially about weight etc. Just be honest. There is someone out there for you. And lying can be dangerous. My deceased buddy Kenyon (read my February 10, 2015 post “In Memory of Kenyon”) once hooked up online with a guy who lied about everything (age, dick size, weight). Kenyon had to drive like 30 or 40 miles to meet this guy. He cussed him out and threatened to whip his ass if he didn’t give him back the gas money (that was when gas prices had gotten well over $4 a gallon). You know guy reached in his pocket and gave Kenyon $25. That nigga was crazy! I miss him.

  2. Honesty can really be refreshing and can set you free. Immanuel, if I lie to you right now, dat bitch called Karma is awaiting me with adequate punishment called retribution.

    Have I lied before and said things that made me look better, especially in the digital sphere? Ya DAMN skippy! But the older I get, and the more maturity I earn and own, I start to question and evaluate ALL of my actions and decisions.

    I can’t stop the ageing process, but I can control and work on my weight, smell of my breath, sexual prowess, sex appeal and a myriad of other attributes that make me more appealing.
    And telling the truth, even if your voice shakes, is more empowering than anything else that I know.
    & I concur 1OOO% with what Markeedee76 said, but I also understand and agree with what you said Immanuel: honesty is a great policy to employ, because at the end of the day, it will show up to benefit you (or kick yo ass!) in the end.

    Kenyon (#RIP) made SURE of that! BOL LMAO

    Keep reppin’ that mantra of ‘GOOD Black DON’T CRACK!” #Amen

  3. Nice post Immanuel. Remember, you have found love and companionship
    (with ‘Van’) – and that’s the end goal. Anything on top of that is icing on the cake.

      • Lol..this response is soon funny. Great post. I just don’t get the need to pretend that you are 20 when you are in fact 50. If the idea is to eventually meet the person they will see you for who you are won’t they. My thing is if I have to pretend to be someone else then it’s NOT worth it. It’s as bad as people claiming that they are are a a MD when they work in a clinic as a nurse’s aide. ..not quite the same, not that there’s anything wrong being a nurse’s aide. It’s the fact that they are pretending to be something that they are not that is the issue for me.

      • So true. I know so many gay men that conflate everything from their dick size to paycheck (see my old blog post Why You Gotta Lie?). Why? The truth always comes out.

  4. But guess what? My inbox has blown up. Folks are hitting me up right and left. Of all ages…Let’s get real my friend. … I checked out your new profile pic yesterday. You really think when those folks of all ages decided to hit you up after viewing your pic paid any attention to you being 51? Call me crazy but I think those folks see an attractive, mature, fit man with a monster dick. Age is over – rated. I read in profile alot when younger guys say they prefer guys their age or younger BUT would meet a older guy if he’s fit, hung and in shape. In closing brother I don’t think your inbox would have blown up if you at 51 was sporting a 5-6 inch thin dick…….

  5. I agree with the marketing part but I think a lot of gay guys especially bottoms are hooked on size more-so than the substance in the words that are written in profiles. Lol….. The guy that talked about lying to get their foot in the door. I kinda agree with that. I’m a older guy and once younger guys meet me, they like me a lot based on my personality. 🙂

  6. You know, I was going to let it go, but since Marcus open the door, I guess it wouldn’t hurt to…push it wide open.

    So when I first read the post I had just given the picture a glance, but I sat here and read the post, and then I read the first 4 comments. I thought inspiring post, about being honest, on profiles and in life, will bring all the boys to the yard. And honestly I thought, good for him, because you had me at the nervousness you experience; waiting to see if you had just imploded your sex appeal. Then about 10 seconds later, something hit me, and I scrolled back up to the picture I just glanced at earlier. I then I had to confirm this was a new pic, to go along with the new age, Mister what am I suppose to do, sit in a rocking chair drinking Ensure.
    I’ll be damn Immanuel, you had me there, for second. I was trying to be good, and not say anything, I feel like I’m always the trouble maker here. I get your positive message and the moral of the post, but Nigga, let’s not front like the boys came a hollering, because you moved your age up 6 years. You laid your dick on the table, and they were like…hmm hmm good, dinnertime!

  7. Dinnertime is right. My mouth started watering the minute I looked at that picture. That’s no appetizer – it’s a main course! And I’m used to looking up, so it’s taken from a perspective that I’m quite familiar with. Nice upper body. The nipples are within reach too……..

    Damn…..’scuse me for a minute……gotta go take care of something real quick-like (LOL)

    Oh…..I’m a 55 yr old Aries. But if we were playing I’d still call you SIR or Daddy if you like!

  8. Very nice dick pic. Like a monds bar.. but anyway young folks love to get with the older ones . Im tired of twenty somethings hitting me up.. my sons age no thanks. .

  9. *pshhh* You really thought you’d diminish your sex appeal by being honest on there? Your stats are bomb and that new profile pic is scorching! I think honesty, especially online, is very attractive, considering how dishonest and sketchy ppl often are on there…

    (P. S. I’ll be in Baltimore at the end of May!) 😜

  10. Oh, shit the Daddy role. That shit is hot. Aged into being that man sometime in the last year. Lotta bois out there looking for that. Do your thing Immanuel.

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