Being a Fool for Love


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Many people think women are the only ones who lose their heads when they fall in love with a man and do stupid things to keep them.


Wrong. Some men who love other men do the same things. Love does not discriminate.

Here is a true account to prove the point.

An acquaintance named “Xavier” fell in love with a man 10 years his junior named “Shawn.” They dated and decided to set up house.

Xavier, who was around 40, put his all into the relationship. He had grown up in southern Virginia with his mother and father and a dozen siblings and wanted to duplicate that close familial bond.

Although he earned less than Shawn Xavier had stellar credit. So he used his credit to buy a house with Shawn, a rental property, and a new Escalade for his boo.

And he paid some of Shawn’s student loan bills too.

But in less than three years Shawn started acting funny. He constantly accused Xavier of cheating on him, even timing how long it took Xavier to get home from his night job.

“I know you giving that big, red dick to somebody else,” Shawn accused him. “I know you say you are working at night but you ain’t.”

It got so bad that one day Xavier took the car to the carwash but Shawn didn’t believe him. He showed up the carwash.

“I just wanted to make sure your cheating ass was here,” Shawn said.

But ain’t this a bitch. It was Shawn who was cheating. Giving up ass to every Tom, Dick and Harry. Xavier found out through friends and Shawn promised to stop. But he wouldn’t so they separated then got back together then separated for good.

Xavier moved into the rental property and Shawn took over the house because he earned $30,000 more. But Shawn soon fell behind on mortgage payments and Xavier had to force him to sell it.

Xavier was left with $60,000 in debt, which seven years after the breakup he has just finished paying off. He has hardly any furniture in his house, not even a living room sofa. His 100-year-old rowhouse needs a ton of work.

“My money is just coming back,” he says.

Lately Shawn and Xavier have rekindled their friendship. Xavier says he is no longer in love with him but something in his bittersweet expression when he talks about Shawn shows the feeling is still there.

A few weeks ago Shawn visited and sat on Xavier’s front step and they talked. It was unseasonably warm in Baltimore for a late winter day.

Xavier said it was the first time Shawn owned up to what he did and really apologized.

“I really fucked up,” Shawn admitted. “I’m going to live to regret what I did.”

Q: Readers, has a lover taken advantage of you? How did you recover?