When it comes to sex, people lose their minds


Photo courtesy of rawstory.com.

My doctor is this cutie from Ethiopia with sparkling brown eyes and smooth café au lait skin.

She knows I am a sexually active gay man so makes sure I get all the proper tests several times a year to check my health.

And she urges me to use condoms for everything — even oral sex.

So with all this knowledge and testing going on I asked her why are so many men in the gay community having raw sex and not really seeming to care about their health?

Dr. Mesfin was silent for a moment. And then she said, “When it comes to sex it’s like people lose their minds. When they get caught up in sex they just do things they wouldn’t normally do.”

“I’ve been a doctor for awhile and thought about this and it’s the only explanation I can give.”

She said after the Mid Atlantic Leather Conference (MAL) in Washington, D.C. over Martin Luther King holiday weekend her office was mobbed with gay men with gonorrhea and syphilis.

The same thing occurs after Pride weekends, too, she said.

One of the main attractions of MAL is a sex party that takes up the whole hotel building where it is held. I haven’t attended but I hear some men just leave their hotel room doors open, lay in the bed with their asses in the air, and let anybody run up in them with a condom or not.

Dr. Mesfin said folks who walk in her office come from all races, sexes and walks of life. Because when folks get horny it doesn’t matter how much money they make or how educated they are — they will do risky shit, she said.

She told me the  story of a 64-year-old white woman who visited her. The woman was unattractive, in fact downright dumpy. She could have been someone’s grandmother.

But test results showed she had just about every sexually transmitted disease in the book.

“Well, when I sat down and talked with her I was quite surprised,” my doctor said. “She is a swinger who goes to sex parties all the time and has sex with multiple men and women.”

“By the way she looked I just couldn’t believe it,” said Dr. Mesfin, adding that all the doctors and nurses were gossiping about the woman’s test results around the water cooler.

So you see, when it comes to sex, you really can’t judge  a book by its cover.

12 thoughts on “When it comes to sex, people lose their minds

  1. Immanuel, another lovely, thoughtful post. Thank you for the time you take to compose and share your thoughts. Health, for black men is so important. Black men suffer disproportionally from all kinds of aliments. It is like we are not taught that reaching out for medical attention is a part of valuing oneself. In other instances, it is about not have medical coverage to pay for such visits. Has your doctor discussed PrEP with you? If not, ask for it next visit.

  2. STD’s are even an issue in assisted living facilities for seniors and in retirement communities. Just because they’re old, doesn’t mean they don’t want to get some. The men can still perform (in some cases aided by a penile implant which allows them to maintain an erection as long as they want to) and they’re outnumbered by women, which means they’re in demand.

    The women figure that they can’t get pregnant, so they don’t use protection. You can just imagine the embarrassing conversations that result:

    “Who have you been intimate with Mr. Jenkins?”
    “Well….there was Sally, and Norma and………”

    Let me tell you, trying to have a conversation about using protection with your 80+ year old straight father is awkward as fuck. It was bad enough when he talked to me about sex with girls as a closeted gay teen. It’s worse talking to him about sex (did I mention there was dementia involved?) as a horny senior citizen. And I won’t even get into trying to deal with telling him when his mind was pretty much gone that he needed to “deflate” the implant – and then remind him how to do that so he wouldn’t be walking around with an inappropriate bulge in his pants.

    That conversation took place after my sister and I frantically scoured his medical records so we could find the name of the urologist who put the damn thing in so we could get instructions on HOW that pumping/deflating was done (pump was in his ball sack for those of you who might be faced with a similar dilemma).

    It was truly a Hallmark Moment !!

    • What a story. Yep you are so right about elder sex. My grandfather was 88 and fighting his neighbor for allegedly trying to fuck his wife. When my uncle called and told me my mouth dropped open. Our population is aging and people are living longer and more healthily. Who knows…maybe I will still be writing this blog in 20 years. Okay a question about your Dad. Who deflated his penis?

      • OMG…..I tried and tried to explain to him what I needed him to do but he was more out of it than usual that day. He wouldn’t let me anywhere near it, so I went to Plan B. There was a male attendant who worked in the “Memory Unit”, as they liked to call the Alzheimer/Dementia ward, who regularly helped dress and bathe him. He did it after I explained the process to him. I think by that stage, Dad recognized me as someone he knew but he didn’t connect the dots that I was his son. The male attendant was someone he saw 5 days a week, so the comfort level was there.

        The pump on his device was a small squeeze bulb that’s in the ball sack on the left side (as I recall) replacing one nut. You squeeze it like the bulb for a blood pressure cuff to inflate and you squeezed it all the way and held it to deflate while pushing down on the penis. Clearly you needed to know which side had the pump so you didn’t squeeze his remaining testicle.

        Dad was a hot ticket with the ladies up until about 6 months before he passed at 85. He had the first device put in when he was in his 60’s after being treated for prostate cancer and winding up with ED. When that one wore out, he had a new one put in to replace it. He bragged to me one time that because it would stay hard, he could bring a woman to multiple climaxes. He joked that after he divorced my stepmother, she started sniffing around him again because she missed the dick.

        I can’t believe I’ve shared all of this, but someone reading it might wind up with a father, a friend or other relative who has the same situation. When that happens, you just have to suck it up and deal with it as best you can.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s