An acquaintance named “Christian” called me last week. A hot, little airline attendant from Barbados who doesn’t freak often but when he does throws ass better than quarterback Carson Palmer throws footballs for the Arizona Cardinals.
“Immanuel, I have friend I want you to fuck,” Christian said. “And I want you to fuck him good.”
“That’s cool. Just give him my number,” I said.
So “Hector” started texting me and then called. Like Christian he is from a Caribbean nation and had a lilting accent. He sent a few photos to my cellphone. They were nice. He is a handsome, brown-skinned, muscular bottom.
Hector made it quite clear he was looking for a big dick to turn him out. I had that covered but I explained I have a partner and if it we were going to hook up it would be a threesome.
I sent Hector some photos of “Van” and he approved.
“Wow, he is handsome,” Hector said. “But how big is he?”
“Oh, he has a good-sized, long dick but not as thick as mine.”
Then Hector went on this text message tirade about how he only fucked dicks 8.5 inches and above and thick and anything less than that was not going up his ass.
That was rude as hell. He was the one on the prowl for sex, not us. He was going to hit me up, bring his ass over to my and Van’s house, mess up our sheets, and tell us how the sex was going to go down, and insult my partner to boot?
Awww, hell no.
“Look, thanks for hitting me up but I don’t think this is going to work out. Take care.”
“Cool,” he responded. I think he texted a few more times, trying to explain he lived by strict dick size limits, but I just ignored them and didn’t answer.
I texted Christian back an explained to him how funky his friend had acted.
“Not feeling your friend man. Not into size queens and he seems arrogant,” I texted.
“OK, I hear you but he doesn’t think he is a size queen,” Christian answered.
A few minutes later he texted again. “I am sorry but you and Van can fuck me anytime because anyone who wants a big cock is because their hole is big,”
That made me laugh.