Are you Watching Iyanla: Fix My Life episode on gay black ministers?

Iyanla talks to gay minister Mitchell during theepisode Fix My Life as a Gay Pastor.

Iyanla talks to gay minister Mitchell during the episode Fix My Life as a Gay Pastor.

If you are not watching, check out OWN’s three-part Iyanla: Fix My Life episode on black gay ministers who decide to come out of the closet.

When it comes to equal rights and acceptance of same-sex loving people, the black church is years behind the time. This comes despite the fact gays are running all up and through all levels of black congregations.

Hell, a gay minister in Baltimore I know who is married to a woman (I call him Preacher Man) said he couldn’t wait to the get to the National Baptist Convention in Memphis earlier this month so he could freak with men after the worship services and seminars were over.

“Those brothers treated me well in Memphis,” he told me after he got back.

So the hate so-called Christian black people display toward gay people is so hypocritical.

I commend Iyanla for bringing this issue to light although one of the men on the show, Mitchell, already came out to his wife and separated.

I just don’t see the need for Mitchell to confess to his wife that he had five affairs with men while they were married. Iyanla says he needs to do so to heal. But the separation was painful enough — why pour salt on the wound and cause his wife additional pain?

I think for the other pastor Derek it’s more of an open secret. He looks very gay. It will be interesting to see how his confession about his sexuality affects his great work with his ministry and his relationship with his homophobic family.

And to read more on my blog about this issue check out:

The Religious Right

Profile of a Down-Low Brother: Preacher Man


Preacher Man Has VD

12 thoughts on “Are you Watching Iyanla: Fix My Life episode on gay black ministers?

  1. I asked myself the same question: why are these men doing all this crying? Maybe they were trying to elicit sympathy from their predominately (black) female audience. I think they should have just told their story stoically and let the chips fall where they may.

    Oprah loves her some “down-low” men {sarcasm}. Remember “writer” J.L. King published his book “On The Down Low” in 2004. Oprah gave King a platform on her talk show that same year and straight black people, especially straight black women, have had the “down-low” on their poor little brains ever since.

    This OWN series with Iyanla interviewing “down-low” black preachers will only reinforce stereotypes about black gay men. The straight black community already blames “down-low” brothas for the HIV/AIDS epidemic as it has affected black women. This is a primary reason why black gay/bisexual men are HATED by most straight black people. Having said all that, a part of me is glad that these two black preachers decided to “come out”. We’ll see how it all shakes out.

    Btw, J.L. King “wrote” a second book called “Coming Up From the Down-Low” several years later which I think was much better than his first book but almost nobody read it. Black gay/bisexual men are still living with the results of his first book, which was a train wreck for black gay/bisexual men.

    I was thinking, Immanuel, that you should write your own book about the “down-low”. I would imagine that it would be much better than J.L. King’s first book because you have the advantage of hindsight in so many ways.

    • elgreene, several people have urged me to write a book. I envision doing vignettes with advice from experts intermingled. Several things hold me back. One is that one of my children is still a minor — I don’t want them to get harassed or bullied at their conservative private school if a book like that came out. The second thing is just time. However, you have made me think about it. J.L. King does follow my blog. I never read his first book (there were so many magazine articles and interviews of him when it came out that I felt I didn’t need to) but the second book sounds interesting. Maybe I can do something with a slight twist. As regards your comments on Iyanla’s show I 100 percent agree. That dark-skinned minister laying in bed gripping the sheets and wailing was just too much. I mean, you are separated from your wife, she knows what’s up so why you bitching out like that? Maybe it’s just guilt.Hopefully something good will come out of this show and we have only seen the first episode. I hope it gets better.

  2. Wow, I’m definitely watching this episode with Iyanla, the situation is all too real, I grew up in church, sang with a recording gospel choir, yet struggled for years in the 1980’s-1990’s with being secretly gay. Its very much an issue within the black church community, I know and have been involved with currently many brothers who freak on DL and go preach and sing in church.

  3. Iyanla’s contempt for the married brother was so obvious. That’s why she forced him to give the unnecessary details. She seemed to want his wife to be neck rocking, cussing angry. She spoke in broad generalities about “The Black Church” which is just what the churches are accused of when referencing SGL people. Those sessions were anything but therapeutic. That made up congregation of the other pastor had more “plants” than a terrarium. The whole show was forced. I think you’re right about the unmarried brother’s orientation being an open secret.

  4. I did not see the episode but I hate watching shows bringing gay men out the closet. It just seem so fake to me. How u go from being in the closet to coming out on a damn tv show. That is way extream and so fake. I think gay guys get so up set with masuline DL guys because those are the guys that they want and they can’t have them the way they want them. I also think openly gay guys want DL guys to come out because they can’t pass as straight them selves. They feel like if they have to go through the dumb shit with being harassed and out cast then so should everybody else. I’m tired of hearing out gay men say it’s not fair to woman because u will be the first in line if u had a chance to turn somebody man and have an affair with them. Then u will be bragging u got a straight man. Ctfu. Hypocrite ass black gay men.

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