The 8 Best Types of Lovers


A few days ago I gave you the worst types of lovers you will run across. Here are the best:

attentiveThe Attentive One

He makes sure you are pleased and get your nutt before he does. This is the type of man who gets pleasure from making a man bust. It’s like his avocation and he will do anything to make sure that happens.

suckingdick2The Oral Expert

He can suck your dick or eat your ass so well your eyes spin back in your head and your toes curl. It doesn’t matter whether he is a top or bottom. Who cares? As long as he keeps doing that oral.

middleage2Mr. Full Potential

He doesn’t have the fattest ass. He doesn’t have the biggest dick. Or the most handsome face or chiseled body. Hell, he is probably older and overweight. But he knows how to throw sex better than a 21-year-old porn star. How to get you in just the right position. How to ride you in a way that hits that dick just right.Β  And his skills are so good that when you are with him all that superficial stuff like having the ideal body doesn’t matter.

detectiveThe Detective

He gets to know you before he has sex with you but does it in such a subtle way you don’t really notice. You just think you are having a good conversation. But he is figuring you out. What makes you click. What turns you on. When you finally have sex he surprises you, getting all dominant and making you get on your knees and suck that dick. To your surprise it turns you out. You know you want more. “How did you know that was going to turn me on,” you ask afterward. “Because I listen to all that shit you would say about just relaxing and letting someone else take control.” See, detectives are good listeners.

freak2The Freak with a Heart of Gold

Yeah, you started as fuck buddies. The sex is good. But it’s more than that. He is a person you can go to and talk about your problems and get good advice, a warm meal, or just hang out and watch a football game or a silly Tyler Perry movie. Watch out. He could be boyfriend/husband material.

parnterincrimeThe Partner in Crime

He is willing to try anything once. What, you thinking about putting electrodes on your nipples? Yeah, that shit sounds hot lets try that. You want to piss on me? Let me put my rubber sheets on the bed. You want to hit that sex party together? Give me a half hour to shower and prep.

phoneboneThe Sex Talker

There are bad lovers who talk and talk but don’t deliver (see Talker in my last entry). But then there are men whose talk lives up to their sex game. This brother gets you in bed and says nasty shit to you that makes you do shit and assume positions you didn’t think you could do, like that Superflex, Two Snaps Up, Flying Dragon, Reverse Cowgirl position (bet you never read about that in The Joy of Sex!). Matter of fact you don’t even have to meet this guy in person. His phone bone game is on point.

professorThe Professor

Okay admit it. Your sex game was lame before you met The Professor. But he saw potential in you and helped your skills. And taught you how to avoid the flakes and the phonies. The Professor may be an older Daddy top or bottom who has seen it all, been there, done that and come back and wrote a blog about it. But thanks to his patience, lectures, and in-class bedroom assignments you have earned a master’s degree in ass eating and a doctorate in freakology. Be sure to pass your skills on to the next generation.

Okay readers, what are your favorite types of lovers?

22 thoughts on “The 8 Best Types of Lovers

  1. I would say that I’m more attracted to the older professor type. I like good conversation and always liked intelligent black dudes. In bed their overall general knowledge of life and life intricacies always transcends to good sex. A good stern conversation before sex while having dinner of just a cup of coffee is like foreplay to me. The idea of laying in bed with a smart , successful, driven dude really get my juices flowing……This just entered my mind Manny and really have nothing to do with the subject. I wonder why after good sex or after busting a good nutt, usually the next few minutes afterward is very awkward for both parties. I often wondered why is that. I found it to be the same with both sexes….lol

    • The professional older type is hot. Wow, I love doing them. Wait a second. Ooops. I am older and professional so I guess i like men like me LOL. Okay, it’s awkward after you cum? Try this to resolve the issue. Caress or spoon the person. Smile a lot. Offer to get them a cool drink or a warm wash cloth to clean up.

  2. Yeah Manny I am drawn to the older professor types who are more than just sex. Someone who can grow your mind besides fuck you six ways from Sunday

  3. I feel like I embody a little bit of all of these.
    Damn tho, Flying Dragon, electrodes… what kind of secret kinky things are you into Immanuel? Spankings maybe?
    I don’t even know what a reverse cowgirl is…

      • I hate to be a “well actually” negro, but I think Reverse Cowgirl was in the joy of sex. I remember reading with this girl in high school. Then in some gay book, they called it Reverse CowBoy. That was one of the sex position I did know. The others I Googled before I read your comment. The Flying Dragon is a real sex act, some thing about jumping off something and landing your dick inside a girl, I guess it could work with a real open guy…I can actually see you doing The Dragon sex position, which is different. The others was no go.
        I’m not going to comment on this one like the last post, because I don’t want, Elgreene from the comment section, in your Worst Lovers post, to search me out and have me committed to the LGBT mental health facility. I mean I could be all in my feelings, but I think that comment was targeted towards me. I’m sitting the rest of this one out.

  4. I’m definitely the attentive detective partner in crime. But my best experiences are with a detective professor. A cop I dated back in DC, he was 5’8, (i’m 6’6″) muscular and older by about 8 years. He really made me realize that the body is one big nerve ending after another. He would make me hard just by looking at me and calling me “youngin”. Then turn right around and give me good advice.

  5. Ok, so yeah I’m late with commenting….I have so far experienced the first 3: the attentive one, the oral expert and Mr. Full potential all in one guy that I’m currently involved with, the only issue is He can be somewhat a little possessive at times and me being who I am, we sometimes clash. I’m a bit headstrong.

    • Jailovzmen sounds like you have a good package deal. Don’t sleep on the possessiveness thing though — that’s a sign of insecurity and could get worse. I’m sure you already did but sit Mr. Man down and ask him why he is behaving the way he is. And do NOT, and I repeat DO NOT let his possessiveness isolate you from friends and family. Damn, am I trying to be Ann Landers? Let me shut the fuck up. You know how to run your part of the planet. Thanks for the comments as usual and have a good day.

      • Wow. You are on point Immanuel with what u said about isolation. We go heads up about his asking me where and whom Ive been with. I told him the first time he tries to fight me its over, ain’t gonna put up with that shit!! But we do talk about issues when they come up, and yr not Ann Landers, we just all share some of the same experiences in The Life.

  6. #9 The shy guy: Wants you to draw him out, once you to carry the convo, wants you to be the one who calls him. Then when it is on IT IS FUCKING ON. πŸ˜€ More cute than sexy, the shy guy wants to FREAK in the privacy of your bedroom (and its always your bedroom). He will suck your dick til you cum, anytime and damn near anywhere. He will fuck you until you nutt twice to his once. He will let you pull him close and melt in your arms. He will kiss you with a passion you thought was long extinct. He will hang back when he meets your friends (and they are always your friends) until you draw him in, make them smile, make him laugh, put him at ease. Shit is hot. Damn. Good to catch up here. Read all that I missed. The 8 types of shitty lovers (can’t only one of something be “the worst”? I think I know everyone of those dum shits and have probably been 2 or 3 of them myself. πŸ˜€ The good writing makes for good reading. Always appreciate that about you. You get it done. Thanks man.

    • Hey the shy guy sounds hot. I once did a guy like that. He had actually graduated a few years after me in high school. He is the silent masculine type who fixes cars. Even has four kids. But in the bedroom he is a submissive bottom who does as he is told. He has a hot body and the blue collar factor is hot!

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