Muscle Madness


This guy resembles Malcolm. Photo courtesy of Pinterest.

This guy resembles Malcolm. Photo courtesy of Pinterest.

A couple of Friday nights ago “Van” and I were dancing in Ziascoz, a tiny gay bar near Little Italy in Baltimore that has great house music on Friday nights into the wee hours on Saturday.

And we glanced over and saw a friend of ours, “Jamal,” dancing with this handsome, older man with bulging biceps and thighs so bulky they strained against his jeans.

Watching them dance was comical and I will tell you why. The muscle guy kept looking at himself in the mirror on the dance floor instead of looking at Jamal.

It was like he was dancing with himself.

Then he took off his shirt to show off his caramel-colored pecs and kept looking at himself in the mirror.

After awhile I got Jamal off to himself and spoke in his ear so he could hear me above the thumping music.

“Are you dating him? Because he is really into himself.”

“Nah, we are just friends,” Jamal said.

“Whew, I’m glad,” I answered, laughing.

But on Friday Jamal visited us — we sat around and talked and ate tuna fish sandwiches I made and some take-out Liberian food — and Van and I got the full story.

Muscle man, who I will call “Malcolm,” had dated Jamal in the past and recently reconnected with him. He is 49 years old and Jay is 35 so there is an age difference.

They are hanging around with each other a lot and Jamal, who is of slight, average build, said the sex is off the chain because it’s hot to have a man who can pick you up and literally fuck you all over a room.

Plus you can tell he really likes Malcolm and hopes something longer term will develop.

But they are not official lovers because Malcolm gave Jamal an ultimatum.

Malcolm said he is really into big, muscle men like himself and is dating Jamal despite himself. He said he is giving Jamal two years to get bulked up so they can make things permanent.

My mouth dropped open. Jamal is a good catch. Why should he have to change?

Van and I warned him that Malcolm may be a control freak and asking him to alter his appearance to please him is a big, neon red flag.

Jamal is active in local gay life, has a sparkling personality and was one of the first people to befriend me in Baltimore. Of mixed African American and Puerto Rican heritage descent he is cute, with dark brown skin and striking, tawny eyes.

Van and I warned him that Malcolm may be a control freak and asking him to alter his appearance to please him is a big, neon red flag. It could lead to future mental abuse, I warned.

And what if Jamal worked out and lost enough weight to please himself, but still didn’t satisfy Malcolm’s ideal, Van asked.

Plus there were other troubling signs in this fuck buddy relationship. Malcolm at first said he was a total top and if he committed to Jamal he wanted Jamal’s ass to himself.

But when Jamal visited Malcolm’s home he found a shower head enema hanging over the bathtub. After asking Malcolm about it Malcolm admitted he wasn’t a true top but did give up the ass sometimes.

Probably to guys who are bigger and more muscular than himself, I thought to myself. And if Malcolm lied to Jamal about his sexual preference what else would he lie about?

There are so many game players in the gay world, even among middle age men such as Malcolm. I didn’t want Jamal to get hurt by one.

Jamal listened politely to what Van and I said to him but he assured us he can handle Malcolm.

Sometimes folks have to find out for themselves. And maybe things will turn out alright. I hope so.

I have not had great sexual encounters with muscular men. Read my past entries “Bad Sex. Good Sex” and “The Ecstasy and the Agony” to find out why.

29 thoughts on “Muscle Madness

    • You are correct. We offered advice because he brought his situation to us but ultimately he has to make his own choices in his relationship with muscle man. So I’m out of it although as a friend I will be there to support him no matter what.

  1. Great advice. And I applaud you for looking out. It’s a damn shame that these older men want to play games with peoples emotions. I hope Jamal finds better quickly. Been there done that

  2. If the sex is that good, then Jamal should milk him for all he’s worth (in a manner of speaking).

    Now since Malcolm’s got the itch to bottom occasionally, maybe Jamal could bring him to the next sex party and Malcolm can be the Pass Around Party Bottom for the night! Sounds like he’d love being the center of attention.

      • Some gay men CRAVE being the center of attention. It might feed a real, but self-serving need (like the need to get attention from men that was not received as a kid from a father
        (figure). ‘Malcom’ might represent an “Ideal” ( an ideal man) and it might have gotten him many things in the past ( money, presents from men, etc.) so that now he even sees his own physical desirability. Some men have it like that, and/or go to the gym to achieve it ( wink, wink). ( If only gay men would work to achieve a masculine ‘ideal’ self than work so hard to be fem – the biggest queen at the party, yeeesh)

      • Out of curiousity, why is it that a Gay man must be masculine what’s wrong with a feminine gay man don’t they deserve love to? Mind you there is a difference between feminine and flamboyant

      • Yeah – get him there before the party starts, put him in a sling, cuff his wrists and be sure to blindfold him so he can fantasize that every dick that he’s sucking and every dick that fucks him is attached to a muscle stud. I’ll bet that he’ll get so worked up he’ll shoot without touching himself. If he doesn’t manage to shoot, he’ll fuck the stuffing out of poor Jamal afterwards.

        I just read about a guy who had that happen to him courtesy of a friend. He thought it was going to be a solo session in the sling with the friend but he gradually became aware there were other men coming into the room. He could smell their sweat and musk – and then the fucking started. He still has no idea who fucked him or how many guys there were. He enjoyed the hell out of it.

        I’m envious as hell……..

    • I agree with@PDQ….Malcolm would probably love being the Pass Around Party Bottom…as far as muscular men…..when I first started reading your blog….you talked about the young army guy you were with and the encounter with the football player as well…they sounded pretty muscular to me. myself….I have found muscular guys to be pretty self absorbed….

  3. I haven’t experienced being with a Muscle man, not into their BS, however I have been with one who was a control freak and made me feel as if I had to change who I was to please him. It never was enough I can honestly look back and say that now, I was always trying to be his number one, never got that love I craved from him. He was also one who wanted to be the center of attention so that was always an issue. It’s not worth the pain but we all gotta learn no one could tell me until I was ready to let him go.

  4. Wow Immanuel. I realize that the picture you posted is not Malcolm but you are giving us an example of what Malcolm look like. At 49 years old I’m impressed that Malcolm can look that good at that age. Too look that good at any age is awesome. Lol. Honestly If I looked like that at my age I would keep looking in the mirror too. But still it don’t give him a license to be a butthole to jamel. I agree with you guys for voicing your opinions. It takes a real friend to intervene in such a touchy situation. As far as him lying about his preference in regard to top or bottom is not a big deal. I started off as a top and after seeing and hearing how much fun the bottoms were having I decided to experiment and try bottom. I loved it until I met a overly aggressive top with a big tool that I wasn’t built for. After medical attention I decided to never bottom again but who knows; I may try again if the right person comes along. So we change our positions sometimes but it don’t make us liars…I wish them both well and glad you shared the story with us.

      • And that’s the way to go man. Milk his πŸ†πŸ†πŸ† for all the protein he can get, but you can’t “wife” a dude like πŸ’ͺπŸ’ͺπŸ’ͺs. It’s a marriage made in purgatory 😣😣😣
        With me, I can’t long-term ambition-LESS men. A hood dude without goals can provide but so much πŸŽ†πŸŽ‡πŸŽ†πŸŽ‰sex before he gets old. And then just serves as nothing more than a good πŸ†& ass. Naah mean? Muscles needs a couch, & “Jamal”, some patience to wait for his Mr. Right. Muscles is a Mr. Right Now πŸ˜‰

  5. Mussel men are good to look at but they are very much into their self and most of them have little ass dicks the ones I came across except one lol. His dick was like a arm but he was more of a basketball build then a body builder type dude.

    I think guys that know they have nice bodies are into guys with nice bodies except a few. I know this guy back in the day who only like real big dudes. My homie down south is a big dude like biggie Smalls Big and his dude is fine with dreads and a crazy ass body and love my friend to death.

    But for the ones who only date other mussel dudes they are totally into their self and they are all about sex. You sometimes see an unbalance in the straight community and be like how did he get her or how did she get him. There situation probably didn’t start from sex they may have been friends first and genuinely like each other. It’s not the same in the gay world. It’s sex first then I’ll see if I like you. I also like bigger stocky but solid guys. No flabby soft guys. I’m working with One tonight and would love to take his fine ass home.

    Even when I fuck with a bottom I clean my self out so I wouldn’t of questioned the enima but I guess he was right. I clean out even before I go out. It eliminates stinky farts and some bottoms like eating ass so I’m always cleaned out.

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