You Turn Me Off


Kendrick kinda reminds me of this gay man who appeared on a VH1's "I love New York."

Kendrick kinda reminds me of this gay man who appeared on a VH1’s “I love New York.”

You’ve read my blog and I cannot lie. I’ve had helluva lot of sex.

But it’s funny. There are a handful of men who, no matter how handsome they are or how hot their bodies are, I just cannot have sex with them. My dick will barely get hard.

Sometimes it’s something they say or do. Or maybe it’s just the attitude.

One of these men is “Kendrick.” Kendrick is six-foot three, around 40 years old, with warm brown skin. He has a handsome, boy-next-door face and is built like a track star with a high plump booty.

But he turns me off no end.

I met Kendrick about two years ago when I set up a foursome. He showed up at the door wearing skinny jeans, a tight V-neck shirt cut so deep I swear I could see his navel, and a gold pair of tennis shoes with wings.

Yes, gold tennis shoes with wings. Like these!

Photo courtesy of onlineshoes.com.

Photo courtesy of onlineshoes.com.

He hadn’t even walked in the door and already he had turned me off. Here is a grown man, tall as hell, dressing like some faddish twink half his age. It was visually jarring. It just looked stupid.

Plus he was very feminine. I mean, not in a fierce Sasha kinda way. But in an old lady fussy kinda way. You know. Like that elderly aunt you have who never misses a church tea and always wears the big hats to service.

And he has a whiny tone to his voice that is grating.

A Jamaican top with a huge dick and I planned to fuck Kendrick and another bottom. But instead of trying to do foreplay Kendrick just grabbed the Jamaican guy’s limp dick and started pulling at it.

“Why isn’t it getting hard,” he whined. “Is something wrong?”

If looks could kill the stare the Jamaican guy gave Kendrick would have electrocuted him on the spot.

That one comment from Kendrick just spoiled the mood. The top moved on to the next bottom and Kendrick became the odd man out because nobody wanted to be bothered with him.

Kendrick always complains that he can never get a date, much less a hookup. So when he called me the following week I offered some advice.

“Kendrick if you want to turn a man on you don’t grab his dick and demand why it isn’t getting hard. Try some foreplay. Work his nipples or kiss his neck or something,” I began.

“And also you should never criticize a person sexually during the actual act. You embarrassed the man! Hell I was embarrassed for him!”

“Okay, I understand,” Kendrick said.

Fast forward to this September. My boyfriend “Van” and I had a sex party. Kendrick noticed the online ad and asked to come. Against my better judgement I agreed.

At the party I was playing with this cute little plump bottom dude who is a mean dick sucker when I noticed Kendrick entering the room. When the bottom stopped sucking my dick Kendrick grabbed a condom, slipped it on my dick, and tried to straddle me and put it in his ass.

My dick went limp as a noodle as soon as he touched me. Like this!

Photo courtesy of hungamateur.com.

Photo courtesy of hungamateur.com.

“Hey, sorry Kendrick,” I said, making an excuse. “I have to help Van handle the door. We have people knocking. Maybe later.”

“Okay,” he said.

Later I fucked the brakes off another bottom and I noticed Kendrick watching closely, like he wanted to jump in. I ignored him, which was good because another top grabbed Kendrick and gave him some dick so I was off the hook.

But the next week he texted me.

“I saw you giving that bottom some dick. Why didn’t you give me some?”

“And I didn’t know you had a boyfriend. Who is Van? Can I still come over sometime and get that big dick?”

I hate to hurt people’s feelings but this had to stop. I had to be straight up with this man or he was going to sweat me for another two years. Our text conversation went something like this. Sorry, I didn’t save it.

“Kendrick I’m sorry but you just don’t turn me on. Let’s just be friends.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean I’m just not turned on to you sexually.”

“Well there must be some misunderstanding.”

“No, I’m serious.”

“Okay.”

I haven’t heard from Kendrick since.

Q: Readers is there a type of man who just turns you off? Please share.