Straight Boyz and the Gay Boyz Who Love Them

British soccer player Jermain Defoe arrives at a party with some friends. Defoe is straight. But there are some gay men who would love to be in his social circle in hopes of turning him out. Photo courtesy of

British soccer star Jermain Defoe (center) arrives at a party with some friends. Defoe is straight. But there are some gay men who I bet would love to be in his social circle in hopes of turning him out. Photo courtesy of

I have a buddy who has a fetish for straight dudes. He prefers men who were married, are married, or have girlfriends.

He befriended a younger guy in his 30s who worked with him. A tall, beefy man with a nice moustache and warm smile.

This man would drop by his house on the way from work, have a drink, and open up to my friend about all his woman problems.

They even worked out regularly together. And shared their sexual exploits with each other although I think my friend changed the pronouns from “he” to “she” so dude wouldn’t know he liked a thick dick and plump male ass from time to time.

This went on for months.

“Well, is he gay or bisexual or not,” I asked.

“I don’t know. Sometimes from the conversation and the fact he is always trying to hang out I think he may be.”

“You never hit up on him sexually?”

“Well, we went to the gym and would shower at the same time.”

“Don’t you think it would be just easier to go online and get a real gay man to hook up with. That just seems like so much trouble.”

“Immanuel, I like my dudes like I am — masculine. I don’t like sissy acting dudes.”

“Okayyyy,” I responded. And I changed the subject to something else.

Another friend of mine, “Clyde,” is a businessman who lives in a luxury apartment building overlooking downtown Washington, D.C.

He started dating “Anton,” a short dark-skinned cocky guy shaped like a sparkplug who had been in prison and did car detailing. Clyde would take Anton out to dinner. To sporting events. To trendy clubs where they would sit in the RSVP section and order $125 dollar bottles of champagne — Clyde picking up the tab of course.

Sometimes Clyde would have parties at his house. The crowd was decidedly black gay professional. But Anton was there.

“Come on, dude knows you are gay and hangs around you when gay folks are around so he must be gay,” I said to Clyde. “And he was in the pen for a few years so you know he at least let some guy suck his dick in the shower.”

“Nah, Immanuel he is straight,” said an emphatic Clyde. “But I’m enjoying turning him out.”

The fetish for straight men is reflect in porn, where there is an entire genre built around gay men trying to seduce or seducing "straight" men. Screenshot courtesy of

The fetish for straight men is reflect in porn, where there is an entire genre built around gay men trying to seduce or seducing “straight” men. Screenshot courtesy of

Clyde explained one night they came home late from an event and he plied Anton with liquor and weed and started making out with him. Clyde went along for a while and then was like, “Nah, nigga I’m straight.” And he bounced with a disgusted look on his face.

I think Anton may even have punched Clyde. I can’t remember. All I do know is that the refusal made Clyde want Anton more.

Several years ago I was at Clyde’s to watch a Floyd Mayweather boxing match on TV. When the match ended the party devolved into an orgy.

Anton hung around and came to the door of the bedroom and watched us fuck around. Clyde stood by him and played with his hard dick through this clothing but Anton was too shy to do more than stare at all the entwined bodies before his eyes.

Mutual friends said Anton was really gay and was just playing Clyde to get wined and dined and entertained. But I don’t know. My friendship with Clyde ended so I never found out whether Anton got turned all the way out or just flirted on the borders of Faggotville.

It might be a fun game to play with straight boys but like I said before. Why waste your time when there are so many available gay men?




34 thoughts on “Straight Boyz and the Gay Boyz Who Love Them

  1. When I initially read this post and the only thing I could think about is spark-plug…I’m sad to say I had to Google what one looked like. I stared at Google images for 5 minutes trying to figure out what that nigga looked like. Is sparkplug the male version of pear shaped? I guessing small top, wider mid section down to chicken legs? No?

    Anyway… I say this with a sad and heavy heart, but this is me up and down. I love “straight” men. I mean I don’t want straight straight men. I want straight that will become less straight only with me. I feel like that is going to be my great tragedy…forever wanting a man who loves pussy wholly and completely. I don’t know why, I just do. I haven’t always been that way, I don’t think. Maybe I have, I guess I’m realizing it more now. I guess it’s because the guys now I want on more than a friend status…love to be more, I can’t. The only thing in our way is this pesky thing of them wanting girls, standing in our way.
    It has been such a big deal lately, that I made it like a new years resolution.

    I mean I have been both of your friends before. I have down so many things to the outside world would see like a lot of trouble for dick, because he was straight and I thought just one right night. The friend approach…The worst being invested in a guy for over a year and a half, thinking the right moment to make my move. Is he or isn’t he? And at some point I couldn’t go back to trying. We were real friends at that point. I have been Clyde, except the punching and buying gifts. A punch to the face is an elixir for the Straight Man Disease.

    I know it sounds like a lo of trouble and perhaps it is. But a thought is nothing worth trying for is worth having.

    Lately I feel like it was of the many things that makes me uh broken.

    • worst_1_yet: Yeah, I can’t do that frustration thing. I’m too old for that. But maybe not too old because the first guy I wrote about is in his mid 50s and the second guy his late 40s. So if they are not tired of playing this game yet then who am I to judge?

  2. I can relate to the allure of “straight” men. For me, it’s not about turning a straight guy out. It’s about being with a naturally masculine guy whose discreet in his same-sex dealings and preferably not all the way out if he’s out at all.

    The draw back for being with these so called “straight” guys is that even if they are kicking it with you they will NEVER be with you exclusively. I desire to be in an exclusive relationship so the chase will not work for me at this point in my life. I have nothing against the feminine and out guys but that’s not what I’m attracted to at all.

    • Jay: Wow what a dilemma you are in. The thing you most desire you can get but always have to keep in mind that type of man will never be exclusively yours. Could you work out an open relationship deal? Would you consider a more out guy that is into exclusivity? Maybe your requirements will change over time.

      • I’m definitely open to being with a guy who is perhaps out to the people who matter most to him. I’m cool with that. At my age, I just want a solid guy with good morals, character, independent and has good communication skills.

  3. This blog post took a different direction than I had anticipated, but it is well appreciated.
    When I was in my earlier 20s, all this entertaining of straight boys was entertaining, esp. since I went to school in a Bible-belt Southern town with ROBUST closet doors.

    But then I graduated, grew up &moved on to play with SO MANY gay boys available in the bigger cities. Life is LITERALLY TOO SHORT to be wasting time & energy on people whose asses one mite NEVER get to SNIFF, much less munch. The 1st guy with da fetish needs some professional help, as there are PLENTY masc., hung hot gay/bi men to kick it with.

    Close ya legs /conceal ya dyck from & to married & otherwise str8 males. You are WORTH more than that .

    • Amen Calvin. You are spot on about these dudes possibly needing therapy. I think shame drives some of this straight attraction. Gay men embarrassed or ashamed to be around other gay men tend to play this game.

  4. Dear Immanuel, man, don’t you think that is probably the reason (apart from your sexiness, big dick, adventurous nature and all the great qualities) so many gay men are attracted to you? lol I don’t even feel surprised when I see people like that anymore. Look at Wade. Even Noah’s Arc is portraying it.

    I agree with you that shame drives some of this straight attraction. Messing (and turning) straight people probably makes them feel like retrieving some kind of status, like hanging with richer people or white folks. I think a similar case is the tops who only want other tops. There might be so much trouble, but tops are so much more respected because they have similar sex roles as straight men. So hanging with other tops feels less like a corruption, I guess.

    Seriously, Look at how tops and bottoms are viewed differently. Tops who fuck a lot of asses are hits, while bottoms who ride a lot of dicks are sluts. It’s almost exactly the same regulation and stratification the society has applied on men and women, isn’t it?

    But sadly, as much as I can analyze this bullshit, I was so deep in this trap once and probably haven’t pulled myself out of it completely. I fell deeply for a married men before. He was even my exclusive. I was being a concubine who he could fuck and leave whenever he wanted, knowing he would never be mine. I thought I learned my lesson when I finally left that relationship. But even after so many years, I still feel so much more immediate attraction toward masculine straight men. What can I say? I guess the relationship you had when you were 16 affects your life deeper than you can see, that you just keep replicating that experience subconsciously hoping the result this time would be better.

    • Ken:
      Very deep comment. Thanks for opening up like that. And thanks for the compliment right at the top. Appreciate that.
      Wow, you were in a relationship with a married for what I am assuming was years. Glad you got out of that. And although you are still attracted to masculine straight men I hope you have the self-awareness not to fall into another dead end.
      And after reading your comments I think I may be guilty of the same thing, although on a subconscious level. My previous partner “Morgan” was also mostly a top and very masculine. That attracted me. It was fun to go out in public and folks not know what was up with us.
      I remember once we went to Puerto Rico and two women hit on us. They just thought we were friends vacationing together. I took Morgan to my family church and my cousins thought he was my mother’s new boyfriend. No one had a clue we were together.
      I thought that was cute at the time but when you think about it I was ashamed. I loved the man dearly but the fact we were both almost unclockable (in straight audiences) was a part of the attraction.
      The new guy I date has more feminine tendencies and as I have written a few blog entries back it makes me uncomfortable although I am trying to get over that. Because this friendship/relationship, at least right now, is more emotionally fulfilling.
      I don’t even want to go into how gay culture mimics straight culture by labeling bottoms who get a lot of sex as sluts. That is stupid. But it has given me an idea of a new blog entry to write.
      Again thanks for reading the blog Ken and taking the time to comment.

      • Immanuel,
        I think we are all shaped by the stereotypes and cultural preferences in some way. What makes the difference is whether we can see that and try to change ourselves. The way you change your perception and attitude for your partner is very touching. It’s very brave to challenge yourself like that. I want a man like you who’s not afraid to make adjustments, and I want to be a man like you and climb myself out of that trap. Thank you for sharing your experiences. Van is very lucky to have someone like you.

  5. WOW This says a lot. Interesting blog post. The line that stood out to me was the line about “Sissy men/boys” That speaks volumes as to why some Gay men flock to “Straight boys.”

      • I never understood why the big divide in the Black LGBT Community. We are Gay men…Some aren’t going to be masculine. I feel that it is all about societal standards placed on people and how one views himself.

      • Spot on observation Musique. I don’t think the divide will end until black culture overall becomes more accepting of its gay members. We have come a long way but have far to go.

  6. …keep threading and toying in unfamiliar waters of straight men and may be one day you’d run into his knife…10 TIMES!!

  7. I feel like the comment section took this post in a completely different direction. Um I almost feel like I shouldn’t have been so open with myself, but I stand behind it. I have stood behind a lot worse. I don’t know why other niggas like straight men, I personally don’t purposely go after them…well not all the time, I have my moments of course. It for me is the guys I am attracted to the most, just happen to be straight. I’m not condoning no dude to be exclusive to a married man. If that wasn’t a sharp curve in the road, if I ever heard one…anyway that is a whole seperate issue.

    I don’t know what Immanuel’s first time was like with a man, but I’m going to say this. I know that at one time he identified himself as straight. How straight was he before he got married, not sure if I read that post. My point is a lot of gay men, were once bisexual men, and before that, was straight…before another guy saw something that ping there interest in that straight man. It doesn’t always happen that way, but it has happen enough. We help pave the way.

    Just like Lewis and Clark, Christopher Columbus, Ferdinand Magellan, and all the other discovers…Well Lewis and Clark didn’t discover, but they explored. Anyway sometimes you want to be the first to discover and navigate undiscovered lands, and plant your flag in that ground and shine the light on multitude of possibilities in that new land, and say yes bitches I discover this new splendor, y’all better recognize Calvin.

    Sometimes I don’t want to be Johnny come lately, sometimes you want to be first, so call me Captain Discover-Newbooty. I am opening up new straits and passage ways for y’all !!!!

    • I don’t get it Cap. So you’re saying that you’re trying to turn more “potential gay men” out of the straights? I wouldn’t say that’s wrong since those men should be responsible for their own decisions. But I hope you’re not trying to praise yourself for “opening up opportunities” for gay men because we all know that’s not your motive. Plus there are so many gay people out there getting no love because of the straight/masculine imagination, while many of those who pursue straight guys get hurt time and time again. It’s like a school trying to recruit new students but treating current students like shit. What’s the logic behind it?

      • Okay I wasn’t trying to praise myself, but really trying to lighten up the vibe that was going on in the comment section. This will be my last on this subject, so here it go.
        Let me start by saying this once upon a time I thought I was 100% straight, until a guy hit on me and flopped out his dick on me, and here we are. My point is that not all of them are straight, or know yet what’s going on inside of them. I’m just saying it takes one time to open up new possibilities. I’m not trying to turn them out. My thing is, it turns me the hell on to be their first same sex experience. Do I need therapy? Never denied it, but it probably has to do with a lot more than, me liking and jonsing for straight guys. There is a lot of us out here, who could use a trip on the big great leather couch.

        I believe we like what we like…some like masculine, some like feminine men, some like dark skin, some like light skin, big guys, and small men. It’s all about preference. I can’t help what I like you just as much as you can’t help what you like. I don’t even think of this as a fetish, but a preference. You may not like it, but what are you going to do about it? I personally don’t like when some people don’t date or get involve at ALL with people of their own race. If I’m not in that equation, that got nothing to do with me. That’s between you, your God, and your therapist. I can’t sit around being upset that there isn’t enough people in my race for me to date, because you as a black person is only into a races, that is not me. So I am not about taking any responsibility for some gay men not getting any love, because sometimes I like me a straight man. I never said I was exclusively into straight men. I do it all, I am a well rounded hoe. Thank you very much.

        If there is so many lonely gay men getting no love, because of guys like me, then I guess I’m really helping them out down the road. It gives them more options once the guys been flipped I guess I’m helping get new students for the school. so that the current student body aren’t lonely and can have a good home coming, prom or something. I guess being neglected for the moment, in the long haul is for the better good, for the current students. Praise me on that.

  8. Online only work if you are openly gay. If you are decreit you are wasting your time online because the girls will assume u are ugly or obese and will not conversate with u at all. When I started messing around discreet was the way to go. Now that so many men are out because there is no hiding it or they have a great support system now they feel you should do the same. I think that’s some selfish ass bulshit because you don’t know people situation and what they have to loose. I think if you want a out person then fuck with a out person donot try to pressure or make somebody feel unattractive because they are discreet. so I would rather take my chance on discovering another discreet person.

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