I’ve come a long way in the five years since I launched this blog.
From married and on the down-low to divorced and navigating a new life. I have cool but hectic job, a little rowhouse with a front porch and garden in Baltimore, an active social life, and I thoroughly feel good about myself.
But my son’s life is not going so well. He keeps getting arrested for weed possession, and had a court date last week. Last Labor Day weekend, when I dropped off my daughter after a weekend road trip, he came out and assaulted me.
Rather than whip his ass, which I could have done, I called the police and filed charges. I want to teach him you can’t put his hands on me or anyone. That trial is in April.
I have already told the state attorney prosecuting the case my family situation. We will use the assault trial to get my son into mandatory anger management and drug treatment classes.
My ex-wife blames my son’s issues — dropping out of college, heavy weed use, shiftessness — on my leaving the marriage and being gay. She has gained 20 pounds and friends tell me she blames her depression and weight gain on me, too.
Constant guilt trip from her. Shit when we were married I tried to get her into a gym routine with me but she was too lazy.
Fortunately I have good family and friends who constantly tell me I am a good father and my son is fucking up because he likes to get high and has a mother who will let him scapegoat me instead of working with her ex-husband to help her son.
My daughter is mad cool, is accepting of my new lifestyle, hangs out with me, and regularly makes a 3.5-grade point average. I know her life at home with her brother and mother is not good — my daughter has said when my son doesn’t get high he is a holy terror, punching holes in the wall and constantly bickering.
That my son controls my wife, who threatens to throw him out but always yields and lets him stay and keep fucking up.
So I have filed to get partial or full custody of baby girl, because I have to get her out of that. The guy I date “Van”and my mother are very supportive of this move.
A friend of mine joked, “You won’t be able to get as much sex if your daughter lives with you.”
“Man, are you kidding,” I answered. “My children are worth a thousand times more than sex.”
Readers please send positive thoughts and prayers and advice my way as I work through this.