Kudos to Kordale and Kaleb

Hey I’m late to write on this but being a gay father I had to say something.

A week ago a straight female friend of mine named “Arlette” posted on Facebook the photos of two black men in the bathroom combing their daughter’s hair.

“Isn’t it great to see black fathers doing this,” she innocently said.

Blame it on gaydar but I looked at the photo and immediately knew¬† Kordale and Kaleb were gay fathers. It didn’t take long for my straight friends on Facebook to catch on. In minutes nasty comments were flying.

“There is something wrong with that,” one person wrote.

“That’s just wrong.”

“That is indecent. What men go around without shirts like that with their children”

Without shirts? Come on now. Really. When my mother was going through her hot flashes she walked around with her breasts out fanning them and dared anybody to say some shit.

Kordale and Kaleb and their children. Photo courtesy of www.funkydinevacom.

Kordale and Kaleb and their children. Photo courtesy of http://www.funkydinevacom.

Within hours Arlette took the post down. But by then the photos of Kordale and Kaleb had spread across the Internetosphere. Like on my Facebook page many of the comments were nasty and downright ignorant.

Many straight folks don’t realize it but LGBT folks have been raising children for centuries. I know several LGBT men and women who are raising children and even grandchildren and doing very well at it, thank you very much. And I know several other black gay men who are helping support nieces and nephews, even sending them to college.

But I don’t have to just go by my own anecdotal evidence. The Census Bureau found that one out of four gay couples is raising children.

Studies from several psychological and social work organizations have long said children raised in loving LGBT homes are just as well adjusted as other children. And one argument for legalizing same-sex marriage is that these children need to enjoy the same benefits and rights as the children of married straight couples.

Ironically, most LGBT families that are raising children are in the South in conservative states that have fought hardest against gay marriage. In fact, Kordale and Kaleb live in Georgia.

I wish Kordale and Kaleb and their beautiful children nothing but happiness and success. Thanks for showing that black gay men can form strong families and look good while doing it. There are thousands more Kordales and Kalebs out there. I hope one day more of their stories will be told.


Has Technology Caused Gay Men to Lose the Art of Mingling?



A couple of weeks ago I hosted a card and games party at my place in Baltimore. Just something to bring friends together after the holiday bustle died down and have some fun on a long winter’s night.

A mix of about 15 to 20 guys. From their late 20s to late 50s. Short, tall, built and not so built.

One of the guys I invited was a muscular, brown-skinned, masculine bottom named “Daniel.” Daniel has the body of Adonis and an outrageous booty. How do I know? I’ve sampled it myself but for the past few years I have kept it on the friendship tip because he has a great physique but not much of a personality beyond that.

Some of the guys went to my TV room upstairs to watch the NFL playoffs. And Daniel followed them up.

But wouldn’t you know all he did was pull out his cellphone and start trolling Jack’d and Adam4Adam, completely forgetting guys that were around him.

Another buddy of mine “Byron” came downstairs walked over to me.

“That guy upstairs is really rude. He is barely talking at all and had the nerve to be on a hookup app. I have Jack’d on my phone too and wouldn’t you know he hit me up and asked was I at the party. I didn’t answer because that’s weird.”

“Wow, and all these guys in here why would he have to do that?” I asked Byron.

I walked up to Daniel and invited him to play a game of Spades, or perhaps join us in Dominoes or a round of Taboo.

“I’m not very good at cards man,” he said.

“Are you shy?”

“Yeah, a little.”


But yet he could go online and troll for sex. Has technology — our smartphones and tablets and hookup apps and websites — taken away our skills and meeting men in real life? Older gay men I know say they miss the days when guys mingled in real-life bars and discos or had to go to bookstores to get hookups.

Technology has reduced us to just a dick or a piece of ass, they say.

Daniel really missed out — he likely went home without getting one number. Yet three couples met at my party and went on subsequent dates to the movies, breakfast dinner and yes some sex too. And they didn’t need an app to do it.