Immanuel’s Gay Horoscope Guide

AstrologyYou may not know this but I’ve been an astrology fan since junior high school. I really think there is some truth in this ancient art.

I’ve also dealt with a lot of men of all astrological signs. So I decided to write my own gay astrological guide.

This guide focuses on Sun Signs, which are how you present yourselves to the outside world.

Remember, everyone is a mixture of signs. For instance you might be a Aries with Libra Rising and a Moon in Cancer, which would make you more sensitive than the stereotypical hot-headed Aries.

Here’s my guide:

ARIES (March 21 to April 21)

Good points: Men born under the sign of the ram are natural-born leaders. They are usually active, confident, love to socialize, and even if they are short statured seem to be taller than they are. People who are born under the sign of Aries or having Aries in their chart, for instance as a rising sign, are also highly sexed. So to keep one be a good conversationalist and try to keep sex fun and varied (Some Aries love role-playing and threesomes).

Bad points: Gay Aries men can have a short attention span, so may come across as insensitive. This short attention span also makes them more likely to come on strong at the beginning of a relationship and then disappear, leaving you wondering “What the fuck just happened here?” Although they come across as confident their egos can be quite fragile and they need a lot of stroking, which can be tedious to friends and partners. And watch out because this sign can be possessive.

Aries Male Celebrity: Eddie Murphy.

Aries Celebrity: Eddie Murphy

TAURUS (April 22-May 21)

Good points: Taurus men are strong, self-assured and confident. They are not complicated people and are always the level-headed one in the bunch. Need good advice? Go to a Taurus, they won’t steer you wrong. Need a true friend? A Taurus is your man. They have good healthy attitudes toward sex and are usually good at it. You want to spice up your bedroom game? Go see a Taurus for advice.

Bad Points: Taurus men love luxury and fine things,which can lead them to overextend themselves financially. They are also stubborn — once they make up their minds about something that is usually it so don’t try arguing. Also, do not embarrass them or take their quietness for being a pushover. You could end up with a bull’s horns up your ass and believe me the experience will not be pleasurable.

Taurus Celebrity. Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson.

Taurus Celebrity: Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson

GEMINI (May 22-June 21)

Good Points: Geminis are the communicators of the Zodiac. This is the gay man you want around when you want good conversation, the latest gossip, and what’s the latest in news and fashion. Gay Gemini men talk alot and even when they are older have an air of youth about them. Sexually Geminis are game — they are imaginative and giving lovers who will try anything once and tell you all about it.

Bad Points: Geminis, especially younger ones who haven’t calmed down, can be moody bitches. Which twin is showing up today? Think you have that Gemini man tied down? Think again. They can be very unemotional. When a Gemini is bored with you they will take off and not look back.

Gemini Celebrity. Maxwell

Gemini Celebrity: Maxwell

CANCER (June 22-July 21)

Good Points: Cancer men are good at relationships. They are eternal romantics and although they may play around they really want just one. If you love a Cancer man you better be about family and creating a good home. They are about stability. They are also sensitive and don’t like a lot of drama. Cancer men are also amazing lovers who know how to take their time and please a partner.

Bad Points: Cancer men can be clingy and insecure. Still waters also run deep — they are sensitive and emotional but may hide it from their partners or have problems communicating their wants and needs. This can frustrate loved ones.

Cancer Celebrity: Danny Glover

Cancer Celebrity: Danny Glover

LEO (August 22-September 21)

Good points: You better be rested to keep up with a Leo. They are fun-loving and social and enjoy having a large circle of friends and associates. They are generous with their time and attention and make great companions and lovers, as long as you let them take the lead because like lions they are the King of the Jungle. They have also ferocious sexual appetites so be ready to be eaten alive!

Bad points: Their larger-than-life egos can be irritating. Leos can sometimes paint the picture that they are successful but don’t have a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of. Also, when in a relationship with a gay Leo man be prepared to be in an unequal relationship. In their minds they are running things and you are the sidekick.

Leo Celebrity: Wesley Snipes

Leo Celebrity: Wesley Snipes

VIRGO (September 22-October 21)

Good Points: Detailed, meticulous, good dressers and good conversationalists. Gay Virgo men are usually successful in the profession they choose and are hard workers. They are good listeners and give good advice. They are ruled by the planet Venus so sex is very important to them. Sexually they might not be the freakiest but they bring passion to their game.

Bad Points: Gay Virgo men have a tendency to be overly critical of friends and lovers. “You are wearing that sweater? That shit went out of fashion in 2002!” They can also be fussy and obsessive compulsive. Oh, and that holier-than-thou attitude can be a front. Behind the scenes undeveloped Virgos can be some of the biggest sluts around — they just keep their stuff on the down-low.

Virgo Celebrity: Idris Elba

Virgo Celebrity: Idris Elba

LIBRA (September 22-October 21)

Good Points: Gay Libra men are great to have as friends. They love to have fun, enjoy hanging out, and are usually the most mellow and balanced folks around. Go to Libras to get advice. They are adept at seeing both sides of an argument. They love good sex and enjoy pleasing their partners. They also bring a lightness and casualness to sex that is welcome — it’s all about having a good time.

Bad Points: Libras can be indecisive and come across as flighty. Because they can see the good and bad in everyone (the symbol of their sign is the scales), Libras can end up staying in bad relationships for too long. And their sensitivity can also be their downfall if they waste it on unscrupulous people who don’t deserve their kindness.

Libra Celebrity: Will Smith

Libra Celebrity: Will Smith

SCORPIO (October 22-November 21)

Good points: Scorpios are analytical and inquisitive people. Want to know how to be successful? Look at how they do it. Scorpios dig in and keep trying and striving, despite the obstacles that life throws. Like the Scorpion they have hard shells. The Zodiac sign lives up to the hype — they really do throw good sex. You want to know how? Scorpios take the time to size you up and get into your head and discover that kink that really turns you on. Or they throw their kink on you!

Bad points: Scorpios tend to live inside their heads, which can make them secretive and hard to understand. You have to earn their friendship, a process some may find too long but is worth it because they are fiercely loyal. Their strong sex drive can also be a detriment because if you don’t please them they are on to the next one. Oh, and never fuck over a Scorpio. They have poison stingers for a reason.

Scorpio Celebrity: Michael Jai White

Scorpio Celebrity: Michael Jai White

SAGITTARIUS (November 21-December 21)

Good Points: Gay Sagittarian men make excellent advisers, counselors and teachers. They love to learn and enjoy all life has to experience. Even if they can’t afford it Sagittarians know the best restaurants and clothing stores and can stretch a dollar. Sexually they are playful and robust. Sex to them is a healthy activity like playing sports — so enjoy it!

Bad Points: The Sagittarian’s yearning for new experiences can lead to unfaithfulness. Don’t take this personally, it’s about them, not about you. The wanderlust also makes it difficult for some of them to settle down and be successful in their careers.

Sagittarius Celebrity: Jamie Foxx

Sagittarius Celebrity: Jamie Foxx

CAPRICORN (December 22-January 21)

Good points: Level-headed, kind and sensible, a gay Capricorn man is the one you want in your corner. You will never go broke hanging with a Capricorn — money and security are important to them and they can advise you on how to get ahead in life. They exude class and success. Sexually they may be slow to warm up but once you get them going watch out. Their sign is not symbolized by the randy goat for nothing.

Bad points: Capricorns tend to focus too much on getting ahead and achieving social status in life, which can make them neglectful of their loved ones. It can also make them boring. Capricorns also have a tendency to be angels at home but hide their freaky side from  partners. If they learn to not be uptight and let loose every once in a while they are much more fun.

Capricorn Celebrity: LL Cool J

Capricorn Celebrity: LL Cool J

AQUARIUS (January 22-February 21)

Good points: Gay Aquarian men are the hippies of the Zodiac. They are unconventional and march to the beat of their own drum. They are independent, love to work for a good cause, and are very intelligent. They also like having a varied circle of people around them so are rarely boring. Sexually, they are very warm and passionate and even freaky, which comes as a surprise because they at first appear to be laid back and unemotional.

Bad Points: Since they are unemotional it can be hard to form an attachment with a gay Aquarian. They are here one day and gone tomorrow, off to work on some other cause they think is more worthy of their attention. They also tend to be opinionated and stubborn, which doesn’t lend itself to making a good partner.

Aquarius Celebrity: LeVar Burton

Aquarius Celebrity: LeVar Burton

PISCES (February 22 to March 21)

Good Points: Sensitive and caring, gay Pisces men can be some of the most pleasant to hang around. They can have an exotic, ethereal air about them, and are known for being easy-going. They are also intensively loyal to their friends, and will be there for you even in some of your darkest moments. Sex is important to Pisceans and is not something they take casually. So you better be on point and about making the experience sensual and rewarding to them if you want them to stick around.

Bad Points: Piscean men tend to be dreamy so can lack ambition and live in a fantasy. They usually do better with a partner who can help them channel their talents in a positive way. And although they are sensitive some Pisceans drift over to the dark side, becoming addicted to drugs or alcohol or becoming serial cheaters. That is why it is important Pisceans always surround themselves with positive people because they tend to adapt the habits of those around them. 

Pisces Celebrity: Terrence Howard

Pisces Celebrity: Terrence Howard

The Negative Minority

Photo courtesy of the Guardian

Photo courtesy of the Guardian

I’m in a minority group.

Yeah, I know I’m an African American. I’m not talking about that. What I’m talking about is being in the HIV negative minority.

It seems like everybody I meet is HIV positive. And even those who say they are HIV negative still want to fuck raw.

“Oooh, your dick feels good Daddy. Why don’t you slip off that condom and let me feel that skin to skin?”

“Nah, I think I will pass on that.”

I know people who are HIV positive — shit I have dated several. They stay healthy and generally have a positive outlook on life because the virus is no longer a death sentence.

And I’m glad the stigma against people living with HIV has faded, although it has not gone away altogether.

Still, I don’t want to take six pills a day and suffer the side effects of HIV and anti-viral drugs: Lower libido, loss of weight and muscle tone, liver damage, diarrhea, and fat deposits that can build up around the middle, neck and shoulders.

And I don’t understand all these people who fuck raw and don’t care whether they have the virus or not. Shit there are sex parties now specifically for raw sex.

Many of the folks doing this are young and appear healthy…why do that to themselves? I also worry with all this mixing of viral strains are they creating a new HIV virus that will be resistant to the powerful arsenal of drugs we have created.

These young folks don’t remember how awful it was to see friends and family members die from AIDS.

Plus HIV isn’t the only thing out there. Remember syphilis and his kid sister gonorrhea?

But I have to admit sometimes I envy HIV positive dudes. They fuck raw and don’t worry about the consequences, just like we were still living in the 60s and 70s before the AIDS epidemic hit.

Like they don’t have a care in the world.

For more information here is a Centers for Disease Control and Prevention Fact Sheets on AIDS and HIV, the virus that causes the disease.