To Each His Own


Websites featuring black men or “thugs” who submit to and service white men are becoming more popular. Such porn serves as a counterpoint the dominance of gay porn featuring black or Latino men who sexually dominate whites.

I was attending a business conference at the Washington Convention Center last week when my cellphone starting vibrating repeatedly.

The speaker I was listening to was kind of boring so I looked down to see who was texting and calling. It was my buddy, Tony from Atlanta.

“Immanuel, call or text me back quick. I have something to tell you.”

“Oh shit,” I thought. Who died?”

I walked out into the hallway, sat on a cushioned bench beside the window and dialed his number.

“Are you okay Tony?”

“Baby I’m fine but you have got to hear about this,” he said. “I think it would make a great story for your blog.”

“Sure, I can give you a few minutes. Tell me what’s up.”

The reception was a little staticky but this is the jist of what Tony said.

A friend of Tony had gone to San Francisco and visited a gay bar known for its public sexual escapades. He had struck up a conversation with a handsome, tall, well-built black man by the bar. The conversation was so good Tony’s friend just knew he was going to tap that Black Adonis’ ass that night.

But things didn’t turn out that way.

“Do you know an average looking white guy walked up to this black god, talked a minute, pulled out his dick and that handsome black man got on his knees and started sucking his dick,” Tony said, his southern-accented voice dripping with contempt.

“Then all these other white guys lined up. This black guy ended up sucking off most of the white guys in the bar. He didn’t care if they were short, tall, or ugly or cross-eyed as long as you were white. And he just ignored my friend .”

Photo courtesy of BigDaddy.com.

“White guys are okay but I really love black men,” Tony continued. “I won’t get with a white dude unless they are no other alternatives.”

Hey, sexual preferences based on race abound in the gay community. Sex hook-up websites are filled with ads from guys who only date whites, or Asians or blacks and Latinos exclusively.

It is what it is.

“Tony, I wouldn’t get upset about it,” I said. “There are just black guys who prefer white men. That is their preference.”

Back when I was growing up in the 70s and early 80s we used to call some black people “Oreos.” These were people who usually preferred to hang around white people and even dressed like them and used slang more associated with whites, such as “That’s rad!” or “Wow, that’s a foxy chick.”

Usually these were young black people who had been raised around whites so that was all the culture they knew so you couldn’t fault them. However, I know of a few who were pushed by their parents to associate more with whites because their parents believed white friends and connections would help their children get ahead in America.

The black dude in the bar in San Francisco may have subconsciously believed whites were superior and dropping to his knees and serving them helped him act out his kink. Or he could just prefer white men because he likes their skin color, or hair texture or whatever.

Who knew, he might even turn around the next day and suck a bunch of black or Latino men. Maybe he was just in the mood for white men that particular night.

And who are we to judge? If being submissive to white men turns him on so be it. We all have our turn-ons and preferences. So let him enjoy himself. To each his own.

Q: Readers, what do you think?

9 thoughts on “To Each His Own

  1. I love the fact that some people refer to such men as snow Queens. I feel to each his own. I love all flavors of men. I feel it shouldn’t matter unless it is the feeling that one race is superior to the other

  2. Men do want what they want. Both of those men, in the bar, anyway. Who knows why people do the things they do? Lots of people only stay within their “own” “race” so I don’t know what to say other than it sounds super fucking boring. Bring it on sexy man, is what I say. If he can’t get enough of my dick and is cute as all get out. God bless. I got the perfect right now. And we’ve all gone too far in public 😀

  3. To each his own indeed. I alwys aspired not to be too picky or stuck on types and try and see the beauty in most if not all. Doing better with that as I get older. But perhaps it is just out of necessity!

  4. Immanuel, I think you had a golden opportunity to discuss something very important about the black community and you hand-waived it. We need to acknowledge that white people (in general) see black people as a fetish – something to dominate or be dominated by. Black people are not seen as relationship material. Sure those white boys will receive fellatio from the black guy, but they will never take him home to meet the family.

    It may seem like black people are always complaining that white people don’t like us and then when they do like it’s because it’s a fetish, however it’s not about being liked or accepted. It’s about equal perception. I’m from South Africa, do you know how many times I’ve been told “I speak well” or been asked “how did you become an ‘A’ English student”. White people are never asked or told such things. That’s because they percieve us as Things from outside.

    I used to hand-waive for people too, and say ” it’s their preference” or “to each his own, as long as it doesn’t affect me”. Then I realsied that it does affect me. Being black and in film, I have to work 20 times harder than my white colleagues under conditions that are 20 times harder. I have to learn their culture and cultural references so that I can relate to them. I have to use an English name because they can’t pronounce my African name. I have had to create multiple personalities just to live in this world and that is why I now believe that this is a White World and people of colour are just passengers.

    It’s hair salons. Some cut white hair and then there are the others. There’s Pantene and then there’s Dark and Lovely. It’s no wonder these poor black women are wearing strawberry blond extensions – passengers. When I go back home for the holidays, I get to speak my native language and be myself for a month, and then I have to become my “white-approved” self because I’m around 90% white people (it’s film) for 10 months. “Oh my god Sarah, that’s awesome!” or “Gregory, you’re too much!” This mendacity is the type of thing my black friends and I laugh about but at the same time we’re eroding our identities in a way because you end up believing it and then you become a Kerry Washington.

    I have dated people of every skin colour (except Chinese, haven’t met any) and of the white people I dated, they made it a point to say that they were attracted to “black guys”. One even said “I’m so horny because a black guy is sitting next to me.” For them it’s a skin colour thing, not a personality thing. We’re the “forbidden fruit”. The “thug”. I used to be very pro-interracial but now I wonder what people’s motives are – usually bad.

    So the black guys who bend and service white guys are just shitting on themselves because there’s nothing special there. It’s just years and years of great advertising for the white people – it is after all their world, right?

    • Great comment Passenger57 I understand totally where you are coming from. Yes white gay men do fetishize us. But I dont believe all of them do. People do fall in love across racial lines for reasons other than color. And im sorry dont agree with you about this being the white man’s world. They are just passengers too. It’s OUR world.

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