My partner Morgan is a bargain shopping fanatic. I swear Negro can get a woody just walking up in a Costco or Sam’s Club.
It was a blazing hot 102 degrees on Sunday, but Morgan woke me up from an early afternoon nap to do guess what? Go to Costco to restock the pantry with milk, butter, chicken breasts, breakfast cereal and oh yeah, before we forget, a big economy box of condoms.
“Dude, I’m not buying a big box of condoms in no Costco — are you crazy?,” I said when Morgan brought the issue up. “I’ll just go to CVS and pick up some.”
I don’t mind going out publicly to the movies or shopping or restaurants with Morgan. Part of the reason is I like being with him so I don’t mind what folks think.
The other thing is that we both look and act masculine so nobody is exactly sure what is going down — shit we even had two cute hottie females from Detroit flirting with us in Puerto Rico.
But there is no damn way I was going to walk up to the checkout with two gallons of milk and a big black box of Magnums. Shit there were a lot of people in the store. I didn’t want some soccer mom looking over at us and thinking,”Ummm, two dudes + one big box of condoms = two faggots. I wonder which ones takes the dick?”
Morgan broke me out of my reverie.
“Look the price is good here and it’s cheaper than buying at Walmarts or Targets,” he said, being his usual sensible self.
“Okay then Negro go find the condoms but I’m going to meet you at checkout,” I replied.
I waited in the aisle awhile, tasting those free food samples they give out at Costco and checking out razor blades. Where was Morgan with the condoms? Dude should be back by now. Shit, let me go look for him.
He was a few aisles over near the pharmaceutical pick-up window.
“You didn’t find the Magnums?”
“No, I think they are out.”
A sales lady walked by. Morgan called out, “Hey I can’t find the Magnum condoms. Where did you put them.”
“Why does he have to be so goddamn loud,” I thought.”Shit, half of the health and beauty aids section heard that.”
I slunk off and headed back to the checkout. A few minutes later Morgan came back with a big metal box of Durex condoms. Not exactly my favorite brand.
“Hey, where are the Magnums,?”
“They ran out. This is all they had.”
We checked out. One black dude rang us up and a black woman put our items back in the cart. They didn’t look at the condoms twice. I had really been embarrassed over nothing.
That night we put that new box of condoms to use. We went online and invited this young Dominican dude over who wanted some Daddy dick. We fucked his slender, brown-skinned ass all over the TV room.
“Oooh, this dick is so good,” he moaned while he bounced up and down on Morgan’s dick while I sat next to them on the sofa, jacking off my dick while watching the show.
But the Durex condoms sucked. They were too tight on my thick penis, making it hard to keep an erection when I fucked the dude. Morgan’s condom only pulled halfway up his dick and kept slipping off in the bottom’s warm, lubed ass.
Still we made the best of it. The bottom dude busted his nutt while Morgan fucked him doggy style from behind while I fed the bottom my dick from the front.
“Shit your dick is big,” he said.
After the Dominican dude took a shower and we sent him on his way I had words with Morgan about those economy condoms. Sometimes quality is more important than quantity.
“Yeah, I don’t like them either,” Morgan said. “I’m returning them to Costco on Tuesday after I get off work.”
I’m not planning on going with him.