Go Back to Down-low?


The reactions I got to my last blog entry more than a month ago, “Wifey: Tell the Kids You’re Gay,” especially the comment from “reality_check,”  got me thinking.

It got me thinking about this 50-something, married dude, who hits me up online and also reads my blog.

“Come over here and lay back and let me suck that dick,” he will ask.

I have no intention of hooking up with “Bert.” Now that I am separated from my wife I don’t feel like playing the down-low espionage game, slipping into this man’s surbuban split level to get a quickie blow job in a dingy basement rec room before his wife gets back from shopping with the girls.

Besides Bert is not my type. He is handsome enough but from his online photo and statistics it is clear to see he has not taken care of himself. His waist size is over 40 inches and his weight is hitting 250 pounds.

So when I didn’t follow up his advances Bert got nasty. He berated me for breaking up my home “for dick” and said he only uses men “for sex.” I should go home and be a father to my kids.

Instead of feeling sorry for myself, I felt sorry for Bert. His marriage was an empty shell. He admitted so himself. His wife spent a lot of time hanging out with her girlfriends, leaving him at home alone, he said. It was apparent he was online a lot, searching for a stiff dick to suck on like a baby searching for a lost pacifier.

Bert’s online comments to me saddened me. He was telling me go home and live a lie and keep on stepping out on my wife, having trysts with lonely gay men who furtively suck men off in their basements and garage while the little woman is gone.

My life now has a lot of ups and a lot of downs. But there is no way I want to go back to being Bert.

5 thoughts on “Go Back to Down-low?

  1. Congratulations on the realization that you seem to be done with the down-low. You're a talented writer with great perspective. Thanks for providing worthwhile reading material. Keep it up! and good luck.

  2. Immanuel, I'm certain without a doubt it took a lot soul searching and praying just to reach the point to make the decision to be true to yourself and in turn those you love. You've come too far to turn back. Continue to live in peace and not emotional turmoil. All the best to you my brother.

  3. Immanuel, I'm certain without a doubt it took a lot soul searching and praying just to reach the point to make the decision to be true to yourself and in turn those you love. You've come too far to turn back. Continue to live in peace and not emotional turmoil. All the best to you my brother.

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