Snowed In In the City

A record-breaking snowfall has hit our metropolitan area, paralyzing the city. You think that would slow a brother like me down? I don’t think so.

This weekend I’ve played, learned some new things about myself, and seen a shift in my relationships with friends. I got a lot to say. So here we go.

Friday Afternoon, February 5:

“Oliver,” a dude I had been rolling with regularly and I really liked, had invited me to be snowed in at his place. We made tentative plans the night before. But on late Friday morning his text messages abruptly stopped. I assume he found someone else he would rather be snowed-in with — we are men and I understand how fickle men are sexually.

But the he could have been up front and honest and let me know instead of stringing me along for two days. I’ve come to the realization this dude is not worth my friendship or time. He is fun but too self-centered. So adios amigo..
And besides, I had made an alternate plan in case Oliver pulled another flake-out act. My buddy “Andre” invited me to crash at his place. Andre is a good cook, and great host, and is place is close to downtown restaurants and bars. So instead of being stuck in the snow in the suburbs I aimed my car at his place. I arrived just as the snow was getting heavy and found a parking space.

Then I got on the phone and called another buddy, “Baron.” Baron is a dark-skinned, tight-bodied brother, and very sophisticated sexually. He lives in the suburbs too.

“Why don’t you come in the city and hang out with Andre and me?” I asked.

“That sounds good. Hey my roommate has a four-wheel drive and can get me to the subway. Let me ask.”

In two hours Baron was knocking on the door, a blizzard was raging outside, and the weekend was starting. First off the bat Andre and Baron cussed me out for wasting my time with Oliver. Gay men can get brutally honest when they “read you.” It’s hard to take to take criticism but it’s something I needed to hear.

“I never hear anything good about this person,” Baron said.

“I keep hearing this same shit over and over. You must like that drama,” Andre said, throwing up his hands.
“If you let a person treat you like that it won’t get better. They will keep doing the same thing.”

I’m well over 40 years old now and I know they are right. So enough with the lecturing. I was ready to play.

“Let’s go to a sex club,” I suggested. I got on the phone and sure enough, there was one open about a mile and half away. But it was late and the subway was closed, the streets were piled with snow, and the few cabs running were charging exorbitant fares.

So we bundled up ands headed out on foot. Even with all the snow, some bars were open, and tipsy young people were out in the street. Some were even having snowball fights. I love snow and I love being out in it. I was in heaven.

There were only about a dozen guys at the sex club but we made the best of it. Highlights of the night: Baron met this 6 foot 4 black guy in the military with a hardcore body and swinging dick and got busy. I met a Danish white boy whose flight was stranded in our city. I prefer black men but he proved to me white guys could be very nice to lay with and the myth all white men have smaller penises is a myth. He was sporting a thick, eight-inch dick.

“Europeans tend to have bigger dicks,” said Baron, who has traveled abroad and played with all types.

“Man, you’re not kidding.”

Saturday, February 6:

We played around at the club until almost dawn. Then we trudged back through the drifts and blowing snow and made bacon and eggs, sausage and bagels. But I since couldnt’ sleep I got up and shoveled out the driveway and took a long, hot bath.

Since I was in the city I knew several guys within walking distance. One was “Axel,” a 50-something brother who had suggested I join a gay men’s support group. We are both Geminis and talk a mile a minute, changing subjects constantly, going off on tangents, and somehow coming back to where we started in the first place.

I called Axel. “Yeah, come over and hang out.”

Andre and Baron were still lounging around the house, sipping drinks. I hate lounging. I am a bundle of energy and like to move. So I head through the snow to Axel’s place. It was nearer than I thought. I got there in 15 minutes, despite the deep snow.

Axel has been around awhile so he regaled me with stories of our city’s once vibrant gay cruising and club scenes and stories about all the men he had known who had died from AIDS in the ’80s and ’90s when the disease tore through the gay community. We wondered why so many younger gay men now have raw, unprotected sex.

“I went to a sex party recently and was about to fuck this bottom and put on a condom and he looked at me like I was crazy,” Axel said. “Then I realized it was a raw party. My buddy who asked me didn’t tell me that.”

“So I just sat back and watched,” he said, shaking his head.

Axel is a decade older than me but still has a lean, fit body. So we went upstairs and played awhile. Two “tops” playing can be a lot of fun, because you focus more on foreplay since penetration is not the ultimate objective. We ended the session with jacking off together. When Axel cums he really cums. His kneeled beside me and busted his nutt over my dark body. It felt like warm raindrops spattering my body.

I was more tired than I realized. I fell asleep, snoring loudly. When I woke two hours later Axel had fixed batter-fried flounder, rice, broccoli and carrots.

It was a perfect snowy afternoon — good company, good conversation, good food, good sex and a good nap.

When I got back I found Andre and Baron were back in the bedroom, fucking the brains out of some young white guy they met online. All I heard were moans from behind the bedroom door.

“Stay out here,” Andre said, ordering me to park my ass in the living room. I had no problem with that — let them enjoy themselves. I put my snow suit back on and went back outside and started digging out my car.

The air was crisp and cold. Young people were out playing in the snow under the streetlamps. I smiled at them as I worked, remembering when I was a young kid who thought the snow was magical.

Sunday, February 7

Sunday morning I  went online and invited an older guy I know to come over and play with us. “Baxter” owns a holistic health center in the city. Although he is older he is tall and lean and keep himself in great shape.

It took him hours to get there because the subway was running slowly. He came back into the bedroom and we started playing. Andre came back and took off his clothes and lay beside us. But Baxter didn’t engage him so Andre got up and left.

So I kept playing. Then Andre came back and I tried to play with his nipples and get the action going with the three of us.

“That’s okay,” Andre said, and left again. So I kept sexing Baxter until Andre came back in the room and said our time was up and it was time Baxter left.

From then on, things got worse.

Andre called me rude, and a “sad-sack piece of shit.” You see, the rule was that if one of us played with a guest that weekend we were all supposed to play with that guest. Funny, I didn’t know there was a rule. And Andre and I have played countless times before with multiple partners. So what was the big deal if one of them preferred to play with me and not him? Why let one piece of ass come before friends?

“One day that dick of yours is going to get you into trouble you can’t get out of,” he said.

Funny, my dick was not a problem when it was helping Andre score a hookup. But  It was his house and I had to respect him. I apologized and gave him a bear hug and told him I loved him, which I do. But he kept bitching about the issue, like a dog gnawing a bone.

And then I looked at Andre and realized something. The guy had been drinking vodka and juice all weekend. He woke up in the morning and started drinking before breakfast. When Andre is sober he is warm, engaging and gentle. But when he drinks small, things set him off. A meanness clouds his warm, brown eyes.

The previous night he made a pot of delicious beef soup and I drank it out of a big mug while we watched “Unforgiveable Blackness,” a PBS documentary about boxer Jack Johnson.

“Look at him, drinking soup out of a cup instead of a bowl,” Andre said to Baron. I thought to myself, “Why is he trying to put me down? What’s up with that? Who gives a fuck how I drink soup?”

He had criticized me for leaving Baron alone with him while I went visiting Axel. But Andre had a small apartment and I didn’t want to cramp them. I thought by going out and taking a breather I would not wear out my welcome.

Then he had called me a “dumbass” for putting up with Oliver’s antics. I may be a sexual freak but I am far from dumb. When I get enough of a person I know how to cut them out of my life.

It was clearly time to go home. I had already paid an elderly black man $25 to help me finish digging my car out of the snow drifts. The road was still slushy but I was only a quarter mile from the main streets, which were plowed down to the blacktop.

I ordered Baron to pack. Then we started to head out.

“Look, you’re just going to go out there and get caught in the snow. The streets are bad and the city is closed down,” Andre said.

But I wanted to get back to my own apartment, my own bed, my freedom.

My car got caught in the snow one time but a neighbor and Baron gave it a push, and we were off. I didn’t stop until we were back in the suburbs.

Despite the drama it was a good weekend. It has helped me focus on who I need to keep in my life and who needs to go as I make this journey. I am worth more than I give myself credit for. I am stronger and more resilient than I thought. I still love people and life.

14 thoughts on “Snowed In In the City

  1. Hello readers, I am Emmnuel's friend Andre. Emmanuel lefted out a few key issues regardin why he got cursed out in the manner inwhich he did. It had nothing to do with alcohol, as he stated.

    1. We had been up till aound 3 am, went to bed, @7:30 am. Emmanuel, wakes me from a sound sleep, asking can a friend of his come over and play, since he woke me up and and I only have one bed and a pullout sofa, I assumed we were all playing…wrong

    2. I get up fix blueberry pancakes from scratch waiting on this guy to show up, when Emmanuel said he wanted to play now, I figured he was close by…took him 3 hrs to get here.

    3. when he arrives he needs to take a shower, using my hot water, towels and soap…oh and don't forget my lube and my king size bed.

    4. I watched them for all of 15 mins. until Emmanuel decides to try and lick my nipple…no I am good, since your friend only wants you…I said. Thats the difference between Emmanuel and myself, if i had been invited to a friend home for the weekend, and invited a play mate over, and the playmate didn't want to play with the host, I would not be playing with them either….its called respect for others.

    5. yes, he got cursed out, because its not the first time, nor the last that he has done things to disrespect my home.
    Emmanuel has become totally out of control, thinking with that piece between his legs and no regard for others.

    Readers, I would love to hear your comments on this issue.

    Please if I am wrong, tell me…i am a big boy I can handle it.

    Take care, Andre

  2. Both of you are great guys and too old for this crap. Give it a couple weeks, make up, and call someone over (NOT ME, because I refuse to let you two together turn me out:-)).

    Both of you guys are out of control and you know it.

    Love you both like Brothers and more….

  3. To me you both sound rather spoiled.

    Emmanuel…you and I have a lot in common (age, late bloomers, kids, wife etc.) so I get your eagerness to make up for lost time. However, Bruh…slow your roll a little. The boyz ain't going no where. Would it have been sooo bad to have just chilled with Andre? Maybe Andre really just wanted a nice snowed in weekend together with you. Good food, good conversation…companionship.

    And yes…it was rude to invite someone else over to his place, then bale seeking to get your dick wet.

    Real friends in “this life” are too few. I hope you both put on your big boy pants and make up and honestly seek to understand where each other is coming from.

  4. Immanuel, let me get this straight:

    Friday afternoon:
    “We made tentative plans the night before. But on late Friday morning his text messages abruptly stopped. I assume he found someone else he would rather be snowed-in with — we are men and I understand how fickle men are sexually.

    But the he could have been up front and honest and let me know instead of stringing me along for two days. I've come to the realization this dude is not worth my friendship or time. He is fun but too self-centered.”

    So… made tentative plans Thursday afternoon. He stopped responding Friday morning. You understand that men are fickle …..yet you're now pissed off that he “strung you along for two days”?

    Dude – if anyone's too self-centered it's you. You're in the middle of an effin' blizzard and the story you're recounting is ALL about YOU!

    Next, you head downtown because it's easier for YOU to get laid than it would be in the suburbs. You stay at your friend's house, but you only play with him when it suits you. You went to someone else's place and played with him for a while. You bring someone back to your host's place and your guest is rude as hell to YOUR HOST and YOU get pissed off at your host?

    I don't care how big your dick is. All you have proven is that you ARE a huge dick because you think it's all about you – but it isn't.

    Andre's right. Your dick is going to get you into trouble that you won't be able to get yourself out of.

  5. Thanks PDQ!!!

    Hello readers, I have nothing but love and concern for Immanuel's well being.

    I have been in this lifestyle for MANY years, and I know how people prey on fresh meat ( as we are referred to when first coming out) most of the guys are only concerned about what is between his legs and how he works it, they are not really concerned about the person, as I am!

    Immanuel stays up till 3-4am, gets up around 7ish, wide eyed and ready to go on for several days…with his sexual activities, work,family commitments and church function I am afraid he will end up in the hospital from a heart ttack or worst…I really thinks he suffers from a form of depression, I know I was there once…He needs to take a few steps back and chill out…the boys will still be there and he will get all the attention he will need. Please readers, help me get him to slow down for his health nd well being.

    Peace and love to all….Andre

  6. Andre and Emmanuel…

    Forgive me! You two are full of shit! You spout this pseudo-brotherly non-sense. I've been reading for months now. At first, the blog seem to be thought provoking. It has become a rehashing of Emmanuel's exploits and how Andre has been involved in some of them. What kind of adults are you to have some rule about fucking at someone else's home and they having to play with the person as well? That sounds like some juvenile-high-school bull. The fucking is a substitute for the lack of love either of you are receiving. You're too damn old for these hijinks.

    If the intent was to be snowed in as friends, that's what it should've been. I rarely read about the commonality of you two and what makes you friends. You both seem to be self-centered and can't deal with someone else who is.

    (Andre's first entry)

    1. Why didn't you ask? This “rule” didn't seem to come into play when you and Baron were feasting on some random white boy and Emmanuel walked in. But I guess as long as the host is feasting, fuck anyone else.

    1. Have some class. Fuck at your own place. If you had stayed home, this would not have been a problem.

    2. It's a FUCKING blizzard outside. Of course, it took him 3 hrs, DUH!!!

    2. Use some restraint in having someone over to your friend's house. You found a place to have a sex free fall and didn't think it would be a problem if you got yours. Really?

    3. Yes, ol' boy should've freshen up before coming to your crib. But he didn't. Remember you agreed to him coming over.

    3. It's becoming apparent that your discretionary skills are lacking. Ol' boy wasn't even fresh when he got to Andre's. Carry your own condoms and lube!

    4. Of course, Emmanuel's friend only wanted him. He came only for Emmanuel. Neither one of them wanted a 3rd party to play with. You should've asked. If the answer was no, then you could have told Emmanuel not to let ol' boy come over. You had time.

    4. Fuck at your own place! You wouldn't have these issues and your friends would never have to interfere in your interludes as you have intercourse!

    5. Emmanuel has done things, as you say, to disrespect your home previously. If you did not call him out on it the first time it happened, it's going to continually happen. You have no one to blame but yourself over that. (If you have, then Emmanuel wasn't listening but you did not make that clear.)

    5. Fuck at your own place. Treat someone else's place like you would treat your own. Would you have your friends coming to use your crib as their own personal sex club? Hell no! And that's because you value your own place.

    The end of Part 1

  7. Part 2

    With “thinking with that piece between his legs”.. From what I've read, you and many of his friends/acquaintances have praised him over his piece so much so that he photographed it and put it on the blog. Now you want to berate him for using it like you all have praised him for. It's a dick! Not a cure for cancer! Not made of gold or spitting diamonds. It's a dick. It's really no big deal!! That's part of the problem. You and others praised him and get mad when he uses it forHonestly, one of the reasons you wanted Emmanuel over there and one of the reasons he went over was because you both wanted a snowed-in fuckfest. Plain and Simple! Emmanuel's dick was not a problem then! It became a problem when someone you agreed to allow over only wanted his dick and not yours.

    If you and Emmanuel want to have a real friendship other than the commonality of fucking, then start by not fucking around each other or with each other! Create and build a real friendship. If fucking is the major thing you have in common, don't be surprised at what you get.

    Emmanuel, bruh! Slow down! You're dealing with so much and need someone to speak to. Recent entries have been around sex. For some time, I've not read anything about how in all the ways your life is changing. Put your dick back in your pants and chill. These men you've met are only out for your dick. I bet that when you meet them, online or otherwise, you make it known that you have a nice piece. Get over it!

    You are more than this.

    I guess I won't be hanging out with you and Andre. LOL!

    Trust me, this is all love! what it's been praised for…fucking.

  8. Live and learn. This weekend served to show your what you want and what you don't want in your life. In life we have choices as to whether we put up people and how much we put up with if any…

  9. LOL pure mess…I agree with a responder above…How old are these men again???? Every single event could have been prevented with a little “mature” foresight and reasoning. No offense, but Im about half the age of you guys and I know much better than to behave in the manner you 2 (Emmanuel and Andre) did that night. I'm convinced that one of the biggest curses that has ever happened to a normal functioning man is a HARD DICK. This story regresses way below each of you guys level….I think you both need to take a step back and begin to apply yourselves differently. Your thought processes are very off in my opinion, WAYYYYYY off!!!

  10. Discretion among friends as well as sex partners, is part of your journey. We are all selfish in our own ways. Know yours and understand them. After which if you don't like what you see about yourself, then change it. If you do like certain things, then keep them.

    Be very clear between having lots of energy and liking to be on the run, and being scared and running from yourself. Sit down and get some clarity, then go from there.

    Peace, D1961

  11. I cannot recall one gay encounter involving a group of gay brothas and sex that hasn't had drama. Is it possible? I do not agree with the slowdown message of many of the comments. Emmanuel is grown and I believe he is well aware of what he can handle and what he can't. I have been reading this consistently for some time and there is a growth pattern if you tumble back to the beginning. It is not like a book that allows one to skip through time and blank out repetitive elements of the pattern. It is a diary/journal/memoir that slowly progresses. I believe every experience that you encounter changes you in some way; you learn from it, catch an emotion from it, regret it or store it somewhere in your memory bank to digest later. So as a therapeutic device the detail is necessary as well as the repetition. It is It is difficult to choose sides in this matter because this is an event that is built upon a whole history of two people and a joint history of the time they have known each other. The good thing about the external view is the ability to wipe away all of the history and look at the event as purely right or wrong.
    It would be good for Emmanuel to get his own place, hotel etc. to carry out his activities. Relying on the informal network of friends with places can be restricting and confining. Although this has only proven itself once, in the future it may become more difficult now that he is aware that he has to carefully monitor the feelings of the host.
    I think the friendship will suffer a bruise and the verbal exchange sounds like there were some pinned up emotions that developed over time. Now that a line is drawn in the sand it will be up to the two friends to continue on or do their thing separately. Either way new opportunities will arise out of the riff.

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