A letter to my readers!


My last blog generated a lot of comments so I decided to write a letter to my blog readers. Here it is:

I appreciate the comments everybody and you’re right, guys who come out do go crazy sexually because it’s all new.I am also a handsome, fit top with a hard dick so it seems I am always in demand. Folks say I look 35 years old now but age will catch up with me.So eventually this will come to an end. Slowing down would be nice.

However, my life is actually quite full apart from sex. Believe it or not I’m active in church, volunteer with the homeless, write freelance articles, work a full-time job and a part-time job. I go to the gym three or four nights a week.I am also a father and am active in my kids’ lives…I live less than a mile from them.

My life feels fulfilled. When I was married I was a good husband while it lasted and I continue to make sure things are okay financially at home. I have had a successful career – I have traveled to Switzerland and Paris and Canada and Germany doing what I love.I’ve met everyone from gang bangers to President Clinton. Life has been good.

I have made a few friends in this who have been guiding lights and supportive through my ups and downs.Have you read about my buddy Andre and Rex and Baron? They are my go-to guys.There are others but I don’t write about them because it would probably bore you.

The sex is not as mindless as you think. I genuinely enjoy having sex. I don’t even have to cum, I love giving pleasure so much. To me it is like working out at the gym — a physical, fun act.

Does Oliver control me? As much as I let him. I have learned to enjoy him when we are together and hang out and have a life when I am not. Just the fact I could attached to someone again and feel such emotions of desire is great thing. I told him even if we don’t remain friends the feelings I felt will last a lifetime — I will always have that memory until senility robs it from me. I never dug a dude like that before but I am also a grown man that won’t be taken for granted.

Something that I don’t write about is that I have gone on three non-sex dates in the past week or so. I’m really getting to enjoy guys on a friendship level.

What do I want to do in the future? Eventually buy a small place of my own and have a spot where my kids can visit me when they find time in their lives for an old man. I t would nice to have a relationship but it’s not prerequisite. I enjoy myself so I don’t get lonesome. Plus I have alot of friends gay and straight.

In the immediate future I want to learn
Spanish and maybe convert this blog into a book! We will see.

Take care and keep reading!

Immanuel

18 thoughts on “A letter to my readers!

  1. Look, you can not blame your readers because these are the IMAGES and WORDS that YOU put OUT to US! Its not that we think youre a maniac but if all you give us is ham, We are going to think all you own is pigs for food! How are we supposed to know chickens and cows are back there when ONE we cannot see that part of the farm of your life..and TWO, you dont care to show us that either.

    Those things that you are involved in are great, but that does not take away from the fact that it would be nice if you slowed down a bit. We are not trying to control your life or hurt you…just be there for you and help you out a bit. EVERYONE NEEDS A HAND!

    And another thing, YOU NEVER KNOW WHO IS READING THIS BLOG! for some it may be their only outlet for being a closeted man or a gay man all together and they may be using your life as a guide..now true no one should be that dumb..but then again you've been here 45 years long enough to know PEOPLE NEVER STOP SURPRISING YOU WITH THEIR LACK OF KNOWLEDGE.

    So why dont you try to put more of the great things that you do out and put ur penis away for a while so we can get to know this so called ,WELL ROUNDED GENTLEMEN OF A CERTAIN AGE WITH A CERTAIN LOOK! 🙂

    THANK YOU

    **THIS HAS BEEN A MESSAGE FROM YOUR PRESIDENT,

    RUTHY-MAE KRUGER-JUANITO-VALDEZ-WORTHINGTON-JONES!!

  2. Hey Man,
    I am dont want to feel that I am putting you down with my recent comments. I just want you to be careful. As a gay man, I look out for all my gay friends, associates or just people who are friends in my head (wendy williams) lol! You seem like a cool brother, that has his head screwed on tight. However, I do worry about you. the reasons, I worry so much is –
    going on line to find four people willing to have sex with until the wee hours of the morning, going to sex partys (that is just nasty), banging out other guys with random guys.. meeting guys in their hotel rooms when they are visiting your city, banging porn stars, banging fat guys, banging skinny guys, just banging period.

    you should spend less time banging and more time talking… hey you said, you go out on non sexual dates.. and that is very good.. however, can you be more like carrie from sex in the city than samantha..

    Gay guys love to be in love, we love to be loved, to date and see your adventures in the place where you are.. anyone can get dick, throw ass suck dick.etc .. but how many of us can have successful dates..

    can you blog more about your dates (non-sexual) i bet you your readers would want more.. the intense kissing the dinner dates, the glares in the eyes.. the passion, nervous first date.

    get us more involved in you…stop the sex.. i think you involved more than a sex object .. be a object of desire.

    ciao

  3. SC8709 SHUT UP MAN! WE ARE TRYING TO HELP THIS MAN AND BE THERE FOR HIM. YOU AINT NOTHING BUT A HORNY LITTLE NIGGA THAT LIKES GETTING OFF ON THE SHIT! IF HE DIDNT CARE….HE WOULDNT HAVE BOTHERED TO EXPLAIN TO US SO HE OBVIOUSLY WANTED TO KNOW WHAT WE THOUGHT!

    FALL THE FUCK BACK MAN!

  4. Please! don't write a love story about catching glances across the dinner table. I have been a dedicated reader for some time and I really like the blog. I think it is very brave to share and very theraputic to commit your experiences to paper(or in this instance a blog). By age 40 I think one has a relatively good idea of what they like and dislike and if that is sexing frequently and randomly I am down with that. It is obvious that you value yourself and you know you are more that a dildo for hungry holes. So I have no problem with what you are writing or doing.

  5. The problem is not that he gets so much sex, or has that interest. That's fine; he IS, in fact, a grown ass (responsible) man. The problem lies in his acquired position as a model to those who are on the same journey albeit further behind. We as men in the lifestyle have to look out for those who have not made it to this level of mental development. Once he started this blog, Immanuel became an instant voice of reasoning behind DL men. And as followers, we expect this blog (and his thoughts) to have grown far beyond his sexual experiences. Many of us don't read this to get a hard dick! We read it to gain further knowledge in our own thoughts and actions that will (hopefully) lead to internal peace. You tend to lose the respect of your educated, more mature and acclimated followers when the only thing you can discuss is sex parties and hookups. This isn't Jamari Fox in his 20s(sorry, Fox. I follow u too but its expected from you..lol). This is a man in his middle ages, someone whose weekends should be filled with other things outside of sex. He started the wrong business if he assumed gay/bi men only cared to read about his bedroom experiences. This is our sexuality, NOT our lives, goals, and dreams….We follow this blog because of the major component that sexuality plays in our lives, but many of us aren't obsessed with it. Once he begins to incorporate more writings about his life (in general) he can broaden his audience, which will allow the understanding that we are far more than dick and ass. I do suck dick in my bed but get up every morning and study to save lives, be it hetero, homo, asian, or black. Who are u???? Not “what do you do?”…in bed

  6. YUSUF IS SO FUCKIN RIGHT! WE TRYING TO BE THERE FOR HIM AND HELP HIM AND THESE FOOLS CALLING US HATERS N SHIT…IMMANUEL I HOPE YOU CAN SEE THAT THEY DONT WANT YOU TO GET BETTER OR CARE ABOUT THE OTHER SIDE OF UR LIFE AND IF U ARE WELL ROUNDED OR NOT! THEY ARE JUST HORN DOGS AND IF ANYTHING SERIOUSLY HAPPENED TO YOU, THESE FEWLS WOULD DISAPPEAR FASTER THAN A FAT BITCH AT A SURPRISE SALAD PARTY!!

  7. Thank you Immanuel for sharing your evolution. We are simply peeking into your life as you have decided to live it. How you live it is not up to us, your readers. If it was of no interest we wouldn't read it.

    You are not required to be the beacon of light for others who are on their path. That is too much to ask of a man who is still on his path and evolving. That does not give you room to grow and make mistakes and find your own solutions, which is what this blog is about.

    If you ask us, your readers, for feedback be ready to open your mind for it, but not your heart. Never take the words personally. Use them as a mental sounding board for possible solutions as how they fit, or not fit, into your life.

    If it bothers you that your readers think you are all about sex, then change it, but if it doesn't then don't. This is your blog to do with as you wish. If someone thinks that you are only about sex, then they have not really read your evolution. You like sex and so does everyone who reads your blog (or else they wouldn't read it), but you went from married and emotionless gay sex to single and feeling for a guy. That is evolution. Continue doing your thing.
    Peace, D1961

  8. I'm a woman and I've learned a lot reading this blog. I think that some people's concern for you is that you are feeling so much emotion in coming through this journey and now you are almost going wild. You are having your own DL midlife crisis. It's like men who go out and pierce their ears and buy a sports car when they are 50.

    You are freer than you have ever been, but there is still some responsibility with that freedom. Diseases are real and even condoms don't protect against everything.

    I think you should write this blog as you wish, and if you want to include all that sex stuff, so be it. But I would agree with others that we would like to hear more about your other activities, and specifically about how this coming out process is for you and your family. Have you told your children and if so, what has their reaction been? How is your wife taking it? Have you told relatives, and if so, how have they responded? These are things I assume men in the DL world would like to hear. I think as a man who seems to have some working relationship with his wife, you can inspire other men who want to come clean but struggle to find the right way to tell their wives and children. God can use you and this blog for so much!

  9. I wish this anonymous mutha fucka had the balls to reveal who he or she really is…it's probably a bitter woman that lost her husband/boyfriend to another man. I don't “get off” on his sex stories…and I know that his life is about more than sex.

  10. Are ya'll serious? This is a grown man living his own life. I don't understand why you would want him to slow down. He protects himself and enjoys it! Who is he hurting? I'm really shocked at you all passing judgment and saying his behavior is “just nasty” and actually asking him to change what he writes about. How about you stop reading it? Start your own blog to be a beacon of light to other gay brothers. Did it ever occur to you that he is genuinely fulfilled and happy with his lifestyle? What if someone came up to you and asked you to change the way you lived?

    Immanuel, I've been a fan of the site for months now. I actually spent one weekend reading all of your entries, back to the very first one. I knew about your involvement in the church, your marriage, how active you are in your kid's lives, etc… I enjoy your site and I'm not coming with any expectations or hopes for you to live up to, I simply enjoy reading about your life experiences.

  11. I dont believe there's anything wrong with the way he lives his life either. Like I mentioned earlier, A GROWN ASS MAN. Anything I write here is just my opinions, exactly whats expected. Judgemental words like “nasty”, “stupid”, and “immature” dont apply here. All we can give is feedback. And thats the purpose of our co-existence.

    The issue many of us are having with his writings is its content and where its headed, a conversion from monumental thoughts and experiences to mimicing a low-budget homo Zane Book. Its not about what he does with his life that counts here, its what he prefers to write about (despite other important “events” that would be nice to hear). Meeting random fags and having sex is a very small portion of the day to day lifestyle of most acclimated gay men. I suspect that initially the blog attracted many different readers as his stories were more “diverse”. But now it caters to sex-thrilled, “drama for yo mama” junkies who prefer to hear about the “sex and negatives” about his journey instead of the positives and affirmations of his developing character….Ant, you are absolutely right! I don't read what I don't want to….and on that note….

  12. But on a last note, I just think its very important to recognize what happens when you open up your thoughts (and DAILY LIVINGS) to the world through your writings….it allows close scrutiny often leading to undue judgment calls. One also inherits a certain level of responsibility and leadership, whether receptive to it or not. And that is, to represent the “group” that you classify your writings from. Many of us are arguing that alot of Immanuel's has become “not that” or “obsolete” for lack of a better word.

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