Down-Low Men Are A Complicated Animals


Down-low brothers can be one of the most confusing species on Earth. You can observe us in the wild for months and think you have our mating and hunting patterns down pat. But we’re tricky animals.

Example: Last night I texted “Austin” online and asked him what is up. Like me Austin is married but decided to make the break to living a fullly gay lifestyle. So he left his wife and three kids a few months ago, got an apartment, and is trying to keep two households going. In these days of economic turmoil that’s a tall order.

Austin has criticized me for not being true to himself and following his lead. I hate to admit it but he is right. And now I’m taking a big leap of faith and making solid plans to launch the next half of my life somewhere on the other side of the rainbow.

But remember, down-low men are unpredictable and Austin is no exception.

“I’m thinking about going back home,” Austin writes. His children, particularly one son, miss him terribly. Austin says after he finishes a big, upcoming business project he will make a decision.

After reading his message all I can think is: “What-the-fuck?!?”

Austin is gay. I mean, real gay. I heard he once hosted a football party at his house for the guys and came downstairs in booty shorts. Yeah, you heard me. Booty shorts. Austin has juggled more dick than his wife will ever get.

Austin is a very complicated member of the down-low species. Intelligent, creative, resourceful, enthusiastic but mixed up, confusing, catty and frustrating. But hey, don’t we all have issues? And the decision to stay or not stay in a marriage or relationship with a female is highly personal. What works for one man will not work for another.

So who am I to judge?

3 thoughts on “Down-Low Men Are A Complicated Animals

  1. Immanuel,

    I admire your soul searching and wanting to do the “right” thing. This downlow life can be gut wrenching at times. Its important to be true to yourself but also remember your loved ones and the pain and psychological damage it could cost them if you left right now particularly if you have any kids that are under the age of 18. I have thought long and hard about an exit plan as well because I love my wife and know that this downlow life is not fair to her as she deserves someone who is going to be solely into her but I have decided that once my kids are 18 years of age it will make it somewhat easier to leave and then live my life. Not saying that my new life will be living a gay lifestyle but at least I won't be committed to anyone but myselt.

  2. Thanks for the comments man. I wish there was a downlow men's support group — I was hoping this Web site would generate that and I see it happening. I'm getting advice from all sides. I think ultimately honesty is the best policy. I'm worred about my kids but men who have been through the transition tell me kids adapt a lot easier than adults.Keep me in your thoughts and prayers and I will keep you abreast of what's happening.

  3. I keep hoping, praying and giving too much of my time and heart and money only to get my heart broken again.. Sometimes I wonder if this whole lifestyle is worth the pain I experience everytime he shuts down on me and treats me
    Like I’m just a homie. Hurts like
    Hell with the DL brothas

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