Idris the Liar


Things just aren’t adding up with Idris. I have a suspicion the brother is lying like a champ.

Today, things come to a head.

“Come on, you don’t have a girl,” I text him. “You are really living with a dude.”

A few weeks ago Idris had approached me about having a one-on-one relationship and I tentatively agreed. We would just deal with our women and each other — a closed loop.

But I have always suspected he doesn’t really have a girl at all. He has dodged answering that question for more than a week. Today when I pressed the issue he got irate.

You don’t need to know all my business, he texts. And then he tried to change the subject, calling me to tell about a funny dream he had about staring at a married man’s dick. So his evasiveness proves to me he is lying about having some pussy at home.

I have been to his home and it is decorated impeccably but in a very metrosexual style. There is no sign a woman is there — no family photos anywhere. No high heels by the door or on the bedroom floor. No make-up anywhere. It looks like a dude’s house — or make that two gay dudes’ house. Straight out of Architectural Digest. The latest electronics and tasteful leather furniture. Walls painted in earth tones. Just too perfect.

And when I walked into his house a few weeks ago a neighborhood kid who was walking his dog gave me a knowing look. A look that said, “Oh, there goes another gay man into that house.” Just that one look told me Idris’ house probably had the reputation of being the spot where those two gay black guys lived.

Plus he never talks about his woman. Never.

One time out of the blue I blurted out a question: “What’s you girl’s name?”

“Denise,” he answered.

“Thats a funny coincidence,” I said. “That’s my wife’s name.”

So I know I panicked him and he said the first female name he could think of. Which happened to be my woman’s name, which he already knew. Lying ass, I think. But like all sexual hookups from online, this is for entertainment purposes only. So I play along to see where things go.

But when I text him today and finally call him an outright liar he doesn’t text back. So I sent him this nasty parting shot: “Guess I won’t be hearing from you again lying ass fuck LOL.”

Why dudes lie and say they are married to get with married dudes I will never understand. It’s stupid. But I’m not surprised or upset with Idris. He is a cool dude. He was very supportive and I hoped a friendship would have developed. But allhis bullshit about being a stand-up man’s man was a mirage. He plays little faggot games. I don’t have time for that. Shit, be a man about your game.

And besides, I haven’t honored our one-on-one agreement. Why shut myself down and wait weeks on end until it is convenient for him. Damn, I banged a guy last week who I later heard was an ex-porno actor. That negro threw my back out but it was worth taking Advils for two days running.

So Idris, take care of yourself and I wish you all the best. Hasta la vista, baby.

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