Most down-low black men I know get sexual hookups online. Trolling through city parks, dank and nasty adult video stores, gyms, and public restrooms might be your thing. In fact you may get a head rush from having public sex and the risk of getting arrested.
Avoid drama. The Web enables you to hook up sex with the click of your computer mouse. The down-low guys I know tend to prefer Web sites such as adam4adam over others like Men4SexNow because, guess what? It’s FREE!
Here’s my 10 rules on how to do it well. And readers, if you know more let me know and I’ll add to the list:
1. IF IT’S TOO MUCH TROUBLE TO GET, IT AIN’T WORTH IT: I wrote a whole blog entry on this. Brothers who ask endless questions about your life history, demand a face pic, your ass pic, or inquire about what you like to do sexually or how many times you shit a day usually give the worst sex. If you get into a lot of back and forth emailing online don’t do it. The sex will not be worth it.
2. IF THEY WRITE A LONG LIST OF REQUIREMENTS AVOID THEM: I know you have read these profiles. The ones from guys who only want muscular guys with 12-inch dicks and 32-inch waists. And oh, by the way, could you also have a Ph.D. in philosophy and earn six figures so we can have scintillating conversation after sex and you can afford to take me to Ruth Chris steak house for a post-orgasm dinner! Take this from me. Ninety percent of the time these guys don’t live up to what they want from you. They are looking for men to fulfill their needs. Once I hooked up with this dude who was only into men with big dicks. I went over there and he was heavier and older than advertised. But I banged him anyway! Bang. Bang. Bang. And the sex was…B-O-R-I-N-G. He just bent over and took it — hardly any foreplay at all. He should have just bought a vibrator. Then later he says, “Well, your dick was good but I’m used to guys with 12 inches.” I told him, “Take your ass back online and find a guy with 12 inches. I wish you luck!” Not a week later he was sweating me again.
3. IF THEY WANT A RELATIONSHIP, RUN!: Guys who go online saying they want a relationship are full of shit. Online sites are for SEX! If a sexual hookup develops into a friendship and then relationship, that is cool. But don’t go into it looking for that or you will be disappointed and become bitter. And you also come across as being needy! Can’t you meet somebody in the real world?!
4. DON’T TAKE IT PERSONALLY : Don’t get upset if someone doesn’t like the way your photo looks or what you write in your profile. Just keep it moving…because somebody else will like you. Always be friendly and polite and don’t take anything personally. Because remember, sex hookup Web sites ARE FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY! Now, repeat after me. What are online sex sites for? “Entertainment purposes only,” you answer? Good student!
5. DROP THE WASSUP?: This is the lamest come-on line. State why you are contacting the person, what you want to do, and when you want to do it. Come on, we might be gay or bi but we’re men. Dammit act like one! Go for what you want! Here’s an example of how to write a good one. “Good afternoon. I saw your profile and your pics. I like what I see and would love to get down with you. Read my profile and let me know if we see eye-to-eye. I’m available this afternoon.”
6. IF YOU ARE GOING ONLINE TO PLAN A FREAK PARTY KEEP THE GUEST LIST PRIVATE: I have held numerous sex parties. When I invite some people they will ask, “Who else is coming?” Never give them a name. Just describe who else is coming in general terms — “Three big-dicked tops, two big-butt verses, and a bottom in a pear tree.” Why do I say this? I have had guys hit up on people I invite to my parties to try to get them for themselves. Or gossip about it. “Ooooh, guess who goes to Immanuel’s sex parties?” People will also ask who is coming because the gay and down-low world is smaller and they don’t want to run into current lovers or ex lovers.
: DROP THE HANGERS ON: You may know these types. They are guys who might not be so physically attractive, have the personality of a woodchip, or who might not give such great sex so fewer people want to roll with them. So they will try to roll with you. “Who are fucking? Can I come?! Can I come and help you out?!” Avoid these people like the plague.
Once I had a threesome with a bottom Puerto Rican buddy called “Mel” and I brought a hanger on “Byron” along. Byron thinks he can fuck but can’t. He just pumps away with his small dick like a piston and busts a nutt in five minutes flat. He gives no foreplay — he doesn’t kiss, do oral, nada! It’s all about putting his dick in, getting his pleasure, and rolling out. Oh, and he loves to watch big dick tops like me in action.
While Byron was was fucking him, Mel made all these moans and groans, and kept his face buried in the bedsheets. I was put out a bit — Mel never groaned like that when I fucked him. Later I asked Mel why he was so noisy. “I was moaning because I was trying not to laugh,” he answered. “That guy was homely and he couldn’t fuck worth a shit. Look Papi, next time you come, you come alone!”
8: AVOID THE HOLIER-THAN-THOU TYPES: There are folks you put into ads “I will not respond to people who only put up dick or ass shots. I will not talk to a dick or ass.” That’s bullshit. When you go to an online sex hookup site you are looking for sex! You better make sure that dick or ass looks good. This rule also applies to folks who post profiles on sex hook-up sites and say, “I’m only here to meet friends.” Yeah. right. Dangle a big dick or a tight ass in their face and see how quick that “friends” shit goes out the window.
9. GIVE THE BIG BOYS A CHANCE: Looks can be deceiving. Some of the worst sex I’ve ever had is from gym body men and pretty boy bottoms who lay there like zombies and expect you to do the work because, “Hey, I’m cute so you’re supposed to worship ME!!” However, some of the hottest sex I’ve had is from guys who are a little out of shape or even heavy.
10. LABELS MEAN NOTHING: Okay you are a top and you see another top brother online that looks good and you want to hit up. Go ahead. I won’t begin to tell you how many times a top will hit me up, inviting me over for body play and maybe some jacking off. Then in 15 minutes they are pulling out a condom, putting it on my dick and asking me to fuck them! The labels top, versatile, verse-top, verse-bottom etc., oral etc. is all just alphabet soup. It means nothing. Depending on the vibe some brothers will try new kinds of sex acts, especially if there is a good vibe.