Interview: Transsexual Aeon Farr

I was scrolling through profiles on a gay men’s hook-up Web site and came across Aeon Farr. There are transsexuals who post profiles but I had to admit Aeon looked more real than some I’ve seen.

In her photo she sported a conservative bob hairstyle and tasteful makeup. And she has a cute, pleasingly plump face. I swear she looked like one of my female cousins — only she dressed much better.

I’m not into transsexuals but I decided to send a compliment.”You really look authentic,” I said.

“Thanks,” Aeon answered.

There are different degrees of gayness. I’m a down-low black man on one side of the spectrum but on the other side are men who identify with being female. I know even in the down-low and gay community, transvestites (men who like to dress as women) and transsexuals (a person who has a strong desire to become the opposite sex and sometimes take hormones and surgery to do so), can be looked down upon.

But 1969 Stonewall riots, which are credited with helping launch the gay civil rights movement, would not have started unless transsexual men and other gay folks got tired of police harassment and fought back.

I’m curious about what it is like to be a transsexual. Gay and down-low men can hide their sexuality but transsexuals, I think, are some of the bravest peeps on the planet. So I asked Aeon, age 20, if she would like to be interviewed for my blog and she said yes. Here it is:

Q: How old were you when you realized you were more feminine than male?

A: I was always more feminine than male. I started off as gay. I came out at about 13 years old. As I got older I realized that even though I did have attraction for males I myself didn’t identify as male. One day I had to make my physical apperace match my internal identity.

Q: When did you begin to dress as woman?

A: I started to dress as a woman October of last year. I started taking hormones in April of this year.

Q: How did your family and friends react? Were you able to find friends or a community to support you?

A: My friends and family were not really shocked, but I did have to explain everything to them just so they would be clarified on a couple things.

Q: How do you think society feels about you?

A: I think that society feels I am some dumb black drag queen from poverty, and I can only offer sex as a means to make a living. Or they just think I am a dude that is just really gay. Even though these stereotypes are rampant in American society, I try not to let the negativity or confusion get to me. I work full time and I go to school full time in order to obtain my Bachelor’s degree. Society will always have their perceptions of what they think I am or what they think I do, but it is ultimately up to me to determine how I want my life to be.

Q: RuPaul now has a beauty contest for transvestites on the Logo Channel and there have long been movies such as “Priscilla, Queen of the Desert,” “Too Wong Foo” and the documentary “Paris is Burning” about drag queens and voguing balls. Do you think there is more public acceptance of transvestites and transsexual people?

A: The truth is we, just like gay and bisexuals, have always been in existence. I feel like the only time that we all are publicly accepted is if we are the butt of some crude joke. We as the minority have to show ourselves and represent to let everyone that we are human ,and that we live dignified lives just like the rest of “mainstream America.”

Q: I’ve heard that many men who identify as straight have a thing for transvestites. Have you found this to be true?

A: I don’t know about men having a thing for transvestites, since I am a transsexual woman. There are men called tranny chasers who are solely into transsexual women. I have went on these gay websites such Adam4Adam and BGCLive, and some of the finest looking dudes only want transsexual woman. Even though they are on these gay websites they still identify as straight.

Q: Do you have a hard time finding sexual partners or mates for relationships?

A: Now that I look like this men are more available than they were before. Whether it be in person or online men do not have a problem letting me know if they are interested in me. The hard part is figuring out if that guy wants that hookup or something long term. Also there are different categories among transsexuals also. Some men want to fuck us and some want to be fucked by us. Some guys just want to suck a dick on a beautiful woman. This life is so crazy because nothing is as it appears.

Q: What do you do for a living? Where do you see yourself in five or 10 years?

A: I currently work in retail. In 10 years I would love to have my own advertising/ marketing agency in the entertainment field. I just want to be able to accomplish all the goals that I have set for myself personally and professionally.

Immanuel’s 10 Rules for Online Sex Hookups

Most down-low black men I know get sexual hookups online. Trolling through city parks, dank and nasty adult video stores, gyms, and public restrooms might be your thing. In fact you may get a head rush from having public sex and the risk of getting arrested.
Avoid drama. The Web enables you to hook up sex with the click of your computer mouse. The down-low guys I know tend to prefer Web sites such as adam4adam over others like Men4SexNow because, guess what? It’s FREE!
Here’s my 10 rules on how to do it well. And readers, if you know more let me know and I’ll add to the list:
1. IF IT’S TOO MUCH TROUBLE TO GET, IT AIN’T WORTH IT: I wrote a whole blog entry on this. Brothers who ask endless questions about your life history, demand a face pic, your ass pic, or inquire about what you like to do sexually or how many times you shit a day usually give the worst sex. If you get into a lot of back and forth emailing online don’t do it. The sex will not be worth it.
2. IF THEY WRITE A LONG LIST OF REQUIREMENTS AVOID THEM: I know you have read these profiles. The ones from guys who only want muscular guys with 12-inch dicks and 32-inch waists. And oh, by the way, could you also have a Ph.D. in philosophy and earn six figures so we can have scintillating conversation after sex and you can afford to take me to Ruth Chris steak house for a post-orgasm dinner! Take this from me. Ninety percent of the time these guys don’t live up to what they want from you. They are looking for men to fulfill their needs. Once I hooked up with this dude who was only into men with big dicks. I went over there and he was heavier and older than advertised. But I banged him anyway! Bang. Bang. Bang. And the sex was…B-O-R-I-N-G. He just bent over and took it — hardly any foreplay at all. He should have just bought a vibrator. Then later he says, “Well, your dick was good but I’m used to guys with 12 inches.” I told him, “Take your ass back online and find a guy with 12 inches. I wish you luck!” Not a week later he was sweating me again.
3. IF THEY WANT A RELATIONSHIP, RUN!: Guys who go online saying they want a relationship are full of shit. Online sites are for SEX! If a sexual hookup develops into a friendship and then relationship, that is cool. But don’t go into it looking for that or you will be disappointed and become bitter. And you also come across as being needy! Can’t you meet somebody in the real world?!
4. DON’T TAKE IT PERSONALLY : Don’t get upset if someone doesn’t like the way your photo looks or what you write in your profile. Just keep it moving…because somebody else will like you. Always be friendly and polite and don’t take anything personally. Because remember, sex hookup Web sites ARE FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY! Now, repeat after me. What are online sex sites for? “Entertainment purposes only,” you answer? Good student!
5. DROP THE WASSUP?: This is the lamest come-on line. State why you are contacting the person, what you want to do, and when you want to do it. Come on, we might be gay or bi but we’re men. Dammit act like one! Go for what you want! Here’s an example of how to write a good one. “Good afternoon. I saw your profile and your pics. I like what I see and would love to get down with you. Read my profile and let me know if we see eye-to-eye. I’m available this afternoon.”
6. IF YOU ARE GOING ONLINE TO PLANĀ A FREAK PARTY KEEP THE GUEST LIST PRIVATE: I have held numerous sex parties. When I invite some people they will ask, “Who else is coming?” Never give them a name. Just describe who else is coming in general terms — “Three big-dicked tops, two big-butt verses, and a bottom in a pear tree.” Why do I say this? I have had guys hit up on people I invite to my parties to try to get them for themselves. Or gossip about it. “Ooooh, guess who goes to Immanuel’s sex parties?” People will also ask who is coming because the gay and down-low world is smaller and they don’t want to run into current lovers or ex lovers.
: DROP THE HANGERS ON: You may know these types. They are guys who might not be so physically attractive, have the personality of a woodchip, or who might not give such great sex so fewer people want to roll with them. So they will try to roll with you. “Who are fucking? Can I come?! Can I come and help you out?!” Avoid these people like the plague.
Once I had a threesome with a bottom Puerto Rican buddy called “Mel” and I brought a hanger on “Byron” along. Byron thinks he can fuck but can’t. He just pumps away with his small dick like a piston and busts a nutt in five minutes flat. He gives no foreplay — he doesn’t kiss, do oral, nada! It’s all about putting his dick in, getting his pleasure, and rolling out. Oh, and he loves to watch big dick tops like me in action.
While Byron was was fucking him, Mel made all these moans and groans, and kept his face buried in the bedsheets. I was put out a bit — Mel never groaned like that when I fucked him. Later I asked Mel why he was so noisy. “I was moaning because I was trying not to laugh,” he answered. “That guy was homely and he couldn’t fuck worth a shit. Look Papi, next time you come, you come alone!”
8: AVOID THE HOLIER-THAN-THOU TYPES: There are folks you put into ads “I will not respond to people who only put up dick or ass shots. I will not talk to a dick or ass.” That’s bullshit. When you go to an online sex hookup site you are looking for sex! You better make sure that dick or ass looks good. This rule also applies to folks who post profiles on sex hook-up sites and say, “I’m only here to meet friends.” Yeah. right. Dangle a big dick or a tight ass in their face and see how quick that “friends” shit goes out the window.
9. GIVE THE BIG BOYS A CHANCE: Looks can be deceiving. Some of the worst sex I’ve ever had is from gym body men and pretty boy bottoms who lay there like zombies and expect you to do the work because, “Hey, I’m cute so you’re supposed to worship ME!!” However, some of the hottest sex I’ve had is from guys who are a little out of shape or even heavy.
10. LABELS MEAN NOTHING: Okay you are a top and you see another top brother online that looks good and you want to hit up. Go ahead. I won’t begin to tell you how many times a top will hit me up, inviting me over for body play and maybe some jacking off. Then in 15 minutes they are pulling out a condom, putting it on my dick and asking me to fuck them! The labels top, versatile, verse-top, verse-bottom etc., oral etc. is all just alphabet soup. It means nothing. Depending on the vibe some brothers will try new kinds of sex acts, especially if there is a good vibe.