Hey Immanuel, I’m in a Relationship


I was driving home yesterday and my cellphone buzzed. It was a married down-low brotha I used to kick it with. I had not seen “Carlton” in awhile.
“I’m in a relationship now,” he said. “I met this dude I like and we’ve been kicking it. It’s really been good.”
Okay, I kick it with dudes but being in a relationship with one still seems odd to me. But I am open minded and pretty liberal so I listen. There is nothing like having a nice telephone conversation during a commute — it makes the time and the traffic melt away.
“Wow, man. I’m happy for you. You seem to be a one-person guy anyway,” I said.
“Yeah, I got tired of that online shit,” Carlton said. “It’s the people and same bullshit over and over.”
“Yeah, you’re not lying about that,” I said.
Carlton’s new boyfriend is divorced with two kids and recently moved to our East Coast metropolitan area from the Midwest. I guess they had a lot in common — Carlton is from the Midwest too and is really much more laid back than most folks in our area.
The divorced guy lives about a half hour drive from Carlton and his wife and kids.
I didn’t ask how Carlton found time to go see his lover and how he was juggling the wife and kids with his new squeeze. A matter of fact, his wife didn’t even come up in the conversation.
I think Carlton would really be happier with a man. There are different degrees of sexuality. Some men and women can go easily back and forth between male and female lovers. But I think Carlton is really more closely attuned to males.
But society expects men to follow certain rules and Carlton is trying to live up to those expectations. It’s crazy. It’s unfair to Carlton, his wife and kids.
But shit, it is what it is.

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