The Wrestler


Army wrestler Caylor Williams. No I don't know whether or not he is gay but the photo was hot. Photo courtesy of the U.S. Army.

Army wrestler Caylor Williams. No I don’t know whether he is gay but the photo is hot. Photo courtesy of the U.S. Army.

My buddy “Asa” started wrestling when he was five years old and continued all the way up through college.

So I had to ask. “Are a lot of wrestlers gay?”

He thought for a moment and smiled. “Yeah, a lot.”

“So tell me how did you start doing men?”

“Okay Immanuel, I will tell you.”

Asa’s family is Nigerian and wrestling had always been a big deal for them.

When he was in high school he met another guy from Nigeria on his wrestling team. They had a lot in common since they both came from immigrant families from the Motherland.

So “Wale” and Asa began hanging out a lot.

One day they had a half day off from school and decided to hang at Asa’s house since his parents were at work and his siblings out playing in the park.

They started off playing video games.

“Hey, let’s practice some of our wrestling moves,” Wale suggested.

“Okay, cool.”

So they got o the floor and got into position and started grappling with each other. Eventually Wale, who was taller and more wiry than Asa, put Asa in a full Nelson position he couldn’t escape from.

But instead of releasing him, Wale pulled his face closer and kissed Asa on his lips and neck. Soon they were doing some serious foreplay — I mean they got to third base and we’re rounding home.

And before his brother came home from the playground and his parents got home from work Asa had fucked Wale with his thick uncut dick and Wale had dug into Asa’s ass with his long, dark pipe.

“I got caught up but I felt so guilty afterward,” said Asa, who grew up in a conservative, traditional Christian family. “I felt like I was going straight to hell.”

Asa said for days he felt like he had a giant “G” for gay marked on his forehead in scarlet ink for all the world to see. Like the act of committing gay sex alone had somehow branded him and everyone could see he got down with men.

His classmates. The guy at the McDonald’s counter. Even his kid sister.

But he kept having sex with Wale because it just felt so right and eventually he got over his guilt. By the time he was on his college wrestling team he had gone buck wild.

I interrupted his story.

“So, was Wale the only wrestler you fucked around with?”

“Yeah, Immanuel but when I was in high school and in college I wrestled with a lot of dudes who would rub against me and get hard and proposition me. But I have a thing for black dudes and Wale was who I was attracted to.”

“I am almost 30 years old now and we are still good friends. He is an out gay man now.”

Q: Readers, did you get introduced to gay sex while being a high school or college athlete?

 

Smash Mountain Weekend (Part 2)


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The Rainbow Resort main building. It snowed the day we came and the scenery was beautiful.

By the time “Van” and I got  to the Saturday night sex party at the Smash Mountain Brother’s Getaway in Pennsylvania’s Poconos Mountain the sex show with porn stars Rio and Markell was almost over.

The two lay on a king-sized bed in a room at the Rainbow Resort, their tight, tattooed bodies illuminated by a cellphone flashlight.

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Porn stars Rio (left) and Markell.

They tongue kissed each other and licked each other’s nipples and jacked dicks.

Then Rio flipped Markell on his stomach and ate his slender brown ass as a crowd of guys stood round watching and jacking their dicks.

But their sexcapade seemed half-hearted. To be honest they looked a little tired.

Over the past two days they had been offering massages to some of the 70 or so guys attending the Brothers’ Retreat.

That’s a lot of back rubbing.

“They were really nice,” said Van, who got a massage from Markell while I was busy playing a couple of rounds of Spades in the hotel lobby.

So Van and I walked around the two rooms of the sex party instead of watching them.

But it was too crowded and couples had already been fucking on the beds for a few hours, so who wanted to lay in that?

Luckily we ran into a friend of mine from the D.C. area named “Tobin.”

Tobin is a tall, slender, dark-skinned verse guy with a high bubble butt, long legs and a huge dick.

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Tobin tops Van.

Van and I played with him for awhile standing in the dim room, licking nipples and jacking. But Tobin had mentioned several times  during the weekend he wanted to get with Van and me alone so what better time?

“Hey come back to our room up the hill to play,” I offered. And Tobin agreed.

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I fuck Tobin while he fucked Van.

Twenty minutes later we were back in our room at the Cherry Lodge. I started by eating out Van’s ass while Tobin looked on appreciatively and jacked his long dick while laying back in the bed.

Then I spread Van’s long legs and fucked him missionary style, pounding slow and then hard and fast. Then I ate his ass some more and fucked him again.

It was so pleasurable for the both us our moans filled the room.

Then Tobin took a turn and fucked Van. And I climbed in behind Tobin and started fucking him, pounding him and Van beneath him into the mattress.

Later Tobin said he wanted to see me eat Van’s ass out some more because it turned him on so Van and I 69’ed while Tobin beat his dick some more.

We ended with me standing up in bed and jacking thick nutt onto Tobin’s face and Van’s stomach.

Then Tobin dabbed some of my nutt onto Van’s tongue while I ate Van’s ass while he jacked. And Van blew a nice nutt.

“That’s the first time I ate your nutt,” Van said later.

“How was it, bitter,” I asked.

“Nah kinda sweet.”

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Tobin and Van relaxing.

We talked with Tobin awhile and we offered to let him. sleep with us but he was staying at another hotel and wanted to hit the sex party for a few more hours and take the shuttle back to his room.

The Rainbow Resort is a little shabby and dated. The water pressure got low or turned off altogether when everyone in our lodge showered at the same time.

But it was a great weekend. We caught up with friends from Georgia , New Jersey, and Florida and made new friends from as far away as London.

We danced at the resort club, sang karaoke for the first time at the basement bar (Van sang Luther Vandross “Take Me Out” and I did the Eurythmics “Sweet Dreams”), soaked in the hot tub, and had great conversations with others about being black gay men.

And Van and I got some time to go off alone sometimes,  relax and grow closer.

Smash Mountain Weekend


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“Van” and I are taking a break from busy work schedules to attend Smash Mountain in the Poconos.

It’s a weekend retreat sex, massage and dance party at the Rainbow gay resort.

Will it be fun or a bust? Will the crowd be too young or too old? Snooty or down to earth?

I’ll let you know.

Random Pics from My Life (And the Stories Behind Them) Part 2


Here are some more pics I have hidden on my smartphone and the stories behind them.

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This dude hit me up online. He had a beautiful body but we never met. A few weeks ago I saw him on the Metro. I don't even think he recognized me.

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A guy in upstate New York sent me this photo. I thought it was artfully done. He disagreed. "It's hard to take a good selfie. I'm going to have one of my straight girlfriends take some of me." I didn't know straight girls did that.

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This bottom sent me this photo. I thought the pose was kinda neat.

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This dude wanted to 3sum with my boyfriend "Van" and me. We set it up but he never showed. So we just had fun together.

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This is a flier from this sex party that used to happen in Baltimore. It went out of business probably because the guy charged $20 to get in and few came. But Van and I loved the art on his advertisements.

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This dude hit me up. We never met so he might be a catfish. But I still think this is ine of the most beautiful asses I have seen.

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This African dude keeps hitting me up. But the shape of his ass don't look right.

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This is a Latin dude I fucked once. He bottomed but had a dick on him. This proved to me black guys ain't the only ones swanging.

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This white dude hit me up claiming he had a thing for black dudes. Honestly I would have rather fucked that hot black dude who was banging him

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This mixed race dude tried to entice me by sending me all these photos of him getting fucked left and right. The photos were hot. But we never me.

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Van modeled some sexy underwear for me. Hot!

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This guy hit me up. His body was hot. But his junky house was a turnoff

I should have known I was Gay in 1979


Black students at FDR High School in New York City in the late 1970s. Yep, I used to dress like this when I was a young teen.

Black students at FDR High School in New York City in the late 1970s. Yep, I used to dress like this when I was a young teen.

His mother and my mother were best friends for years so it was natural we saw each other alot.

I would spend weeks in the summer with his family at his grandmother’s small house nestled in the farmland and pastures of Montgomery County.

And he would come to my home in the suburbs of Washington D.C. and go see Trouble Funk and the Barkays and The Jacksons at festival concerts at the Capitol Center.

“Barry” and I were like night and day. He was average height but muscular and strong and a star athlete on the football, baseball and basketball teams.

And I was the tall lanky geek who made good grades and could answer alot of the questions on trivia game shows.

But we got to be fast friends. Almost inseparable.

I still had an Afro, which was going out of style in 1979.

“You should cut your hair Manny and wear it in waves.”

“Okay cool,” I said, eager to to fit in and look hip.

First the barber did it but Barry had clippers and would touch up my hair.

Alone in his grandmother’s dark basement.

And he would lean over and  would rub his crotch against me, his thick dick hard and hot against my arm.

And my heart would beat faster and I would move closer to him and put my hands in my lap to hide a burgeoning erection.

But we never said a word about it.

And at night we would sleep together and he would lay his thigh against mine.

At first I would pull away, embarrassed. But each time he would put his thigh back against mine and I would relent and let it stay. And we would snuggle closer.

I am 50 years old now but I can still close my eyes and remember how his muscular thigh felt against mine.

Smooth. Hard. Hot as an iron in a fire.

But we never spoke about it and things never went further.

Years later we are still friends but mostly on Facebook.

Like alot of former athletes he has gained weight and is pudgy. He got a couple of women pregnant and had to move back home with his mother to make ends meet.

So we are still like night and day.

Some of his cousins are gay and know me. So I know he knows I am out now. He has said in so many words he doesn’t care and accepts and loves me.

But we don’t really talk about it.

So I still wonder. What if we had taken it further? Way back in 1979.

He Just Might be Crazy


So my hot-cold frenemy “Colin” texts me Friday and says he wants to get out. The weather has been bitterly cold and snow is frozen on the ground so I guess he has cabin fever.

He asks me what I am doing and I say finishing some take-home work and possibly hitting a club or bar later.

“Why don’t you come up to Baltimore and hang out?” I text.

“Nah, that’s too far.

“Well, why are you bothering me? I’m at home minding my own business. You hit me up.”

“Well, I was just thinking out loud,” he answered.

“Well why text me with what you are thinking?!?! I can’t read your mind through a text?”

Uggghh!!! Arggggh!!!! What was that exchange all about? From the way it started it sounded like he wanted to hang out. Then to pull the carpet out from under that was just weird.

Which led me to realize some gay men are just crazy. For those of us who are politically correct I’ll rephrase that to say “living with a mental illness.”

I have experienced so many incidents and heard so many tales of gay men just doing crazy, irrational stuff it makes me wonder. Shit you’ve read it in my blog. The lies. The inability to form strong bonds and relationships.The fickleness. The needless bullshitting.

So today I did a little Googling, entering the terms “gay” and “mental illness” and sure enough the evidence bears me out.

crazyMost gay men are sane and resilient people. However they are still more prone to live with a mental illness.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention gay men are more likely to suffer from depression during teen and adult years and have increased risk of being bipolar or having an anxiety disorder.

Part of the reason for this is that gay men continue to suffer from discrimination. And trying to hide your sexuality from disapproving family and friends for years can make anyone go bonkers.

Studies have shown openly gay men tend to be more well adjusted. However, coming out may not be advisable for some gay men if it puts them in physical danger or causes a major family disruption, psychologists warn.

So what have I learned this weekend? Every few months “Colin” and I hang out but the relationship has thankfully been platonic for five years. I try to be forgiving and understand of folks but after that stupid stunt he pulled Friday I have decided to cut him out of my life.

Because I’m too old to put up with crazy anymore.

How do I tell Family and Friends?


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My partner “Van” has met and hung out with my mother and stepfather and my daughter and her boyfriend and even my church members.

And they have been mad cool and accepting.

“I feel more welcome with him than I did with that ex-wife of yours,” my stepfather said.

That was a huge compliment, considering it came from a from a 71-year old, Black Air Force vet sports fanatic who you would have thought would be most homophobic.

Peeps can surprise you.

During Thanksgiving Van even met my best buddy since high school “Sherrod”and his girlfriend. I think they figured out what was up but I never had “the talk” with them.

We just hung out and drank wine by an open pit fire and talked shit.

But at one point Sherrod said snidely. “Well I guess this is the real reason you left your wife.”

I just laughed it off and ignored him.

But I can’t keep laughing it off and ignoring it.

I am pretty well liked among my family and straight social circle so I get asked to hang out alot.

Dinners. Happy Hours. Holiday get-togethers. What have you.

I have been going alone but eventually folks have to meet him. I can’t keep excluding him from a big part of life.

But how to do it? Many of these folks knew my ex-wife. I mean these are my cousins and aunts and uncles and buds I have had since 5th grade.

Do I have to go into a long explanation with them? Or just bring Van and plunge in?

My late buddy “Kenyon” was totally open. His family ands knew his two female ex-wives and his male lovers.

But I’m not as crazy brave as he was.

Can anyone give me some advice?